Family at Ultrasound ??

Pupcorn · March 2015

im 24 weeks along and am going to my second ultrasound, which will allow us to find out the gender. It's going to be done at my OBs. At first it was just going to be me and my husband. But now he wants his and my parents there. I don't know if that's normal to bring that many people to an ultrasound. No matter how much I tell him I'm uncomfortable with it he is insisting they come. It's my first time being pregnant so I'm not sure if that's normal bringing family to that.

steen9713 · March 2015

If this is your anatomy scan then it might not be a good idea. One because the ultrasound can take a while and some doctors do not allow any one else in the room till the scanning for measurements is over. Then they allow the spouse or whom ever in to see the baby and find out the gender and what not. Hope this helps. And if you don't feel comfortable just make it very clear with your H. Tell him you both can find a cute and fun way to tell them the gender. IMO I think finding out in the dr office is weird that's why we opted for a gender reveal. This way we all found out together. My H and I with all our friends and family. We were able to film the experience and it is a keep sake will never forget

ChristyM87 · March 2015

They probably don't want a bunch of people in the room. Also what if you get bad news, are you ok with family being there for that?

oneblessedmess · March 2015

I personally thought that finding out the sex was a special, intimate moment for just me and my husband. I would not have wanted a crowd of people in there talking and asking questions. Also, like PPs said, that is a lot of extra people and your doctor may not even allow them all to be in the room. The room I was in for our scan would not have fit four extra people.

I think that having a sex reveal for the parents afterwards is a good compromise, but if you are uncomfortable he needs to drop it. They do not need to be in there.

erinnlou · March 2015

My office only allowed one other person in the room during the A/S. I really doubt the tech would feel comfortable with that many people in there.
For my first though, I had my SO, his mom, and his sister in the room. But it was a different office with different policies.
Do whatever makes you happy. I personally preferred the latter with only my SO there.

kacdanz · March 2015

My parents came for the ultrasound, I didn't ask them to but they requested. I gave in because my husband didn't care and I know it would mean a lot to them. The ultrasound tech would not let them in for the pictures that she needed for the anatomy scan but she did allow them in the room towards the end when we were to find out the gender. Depends on the policies at your doctors office or your tech.

asherk · March 2015

My ultrasound tech only allowed one other adult in the room (but children of the couple were okay). I would call your OB and see what the tech is comfortable with/what your office's policies are. Personally, I wouldn't have wanted anyone else in there just in case they would have found something wrong with the baby - I would rather go through that experience with my husband, rather than have my feelings be on display for my entire family. If you're uncomfortable with it, your husband needs to accept that and stop pressing the issue. Anatomy scans can be nerve wracking and scary (I was terrified for mine), and you don't need additional stress during the appointment.

My mom really wanted to go, so I compromised with her and said that we would do a sex reveal party for the family. We basically just had a potluck where DH and I grilled burgers and popped off confetti poppers with the immediate family (so the grandparents-to-be got to participate!). I think it was a good compromise because we all found out together, and my mom got to feel involved in the process. Maybe suggest something like that to your husband?

gatormom73 · March 2015

I had my husband and my grandma in there she also loved watching it. My docs office didnt seem to mind but to be sure you could always ask them before hand to see what they say. If I were you I would want them in there just because when they see the little bundle of joy boucing around they see how real it all is. Then they get more excited and want to buy more gifts lol

thequiet2 · March 2015

My dr office only allows 2 other people in the room including other children. So I had just my SO and my son in the room. My sister also wanted to go but I told her if she really wanted to go to an ultrasound we can plan a 3D one later that she can go with me too. That made her happy and we will get a DVD if anyone else wants to see.

I know my son loved being able to see the baby move and hear her "heart pump" as he calls it. But I agree with other posters, it's an intimate thing and I worried about finding out something was wrong. Definately not something I would want to do in front of other people.

itsrandiyo · March 2015

My doctors office were the ultrasounds take place have the rules for how many people, how many children to each adult, etc posted. So, like PP mentioned, I would just look up there rules or call and ask.

lilweenie · March 2015

I wouldn't. That's just weird.

Pupcorn · March 2015

Thank you guys. I'm feeling the same way. I really just want it to be me and my husband. So hopefully I can convince him they don't need to be there.

ashleytiff · March 2015

Seems a little crowded to me and I like keeping things between just the husband and I until we're ready to share it.

Lulamae123 · March 2015

tell your family that you are only allowed one person in with you, if I had a second a ultrasound I would bring someone else with me, I did with my second, my placenta was low and I needed an ultrasound later on and I took my mother in law because it would mean a lot to her, I actually had her in the room with me for delivery as well. but typically my husband and I like to be alone for all the firsts. if there are seconds the family can join in.

sschwege · March 2015

First I would ask, some rooms are small and they may have rules against that. I am a pretty open person and we have had MIL and my mom in the delivery room when our LO's were born, both will probably be there for this baby as well. That being said, we never invite anyone to the a/s scan and that includes our own children. For us I feel like if we are going to get bad news it will be on that day, I don't want a crowd sitting around to hear it with us. Now granted, we always do a Level II and we get the results literally as they are doing the scan, it's preformed by both a tech and a doctor. I know some a/s you don't get the results until later, but even still while it's fun to see baby this is a serious test and it just doesn't seem the place for a bunch of people.

kristyn831 · March 2015

I would not recommend it. We got potentially devastating news at our anatomy scan. I broke down crying and was a mess. That was a moment I would only want my husband to be there for. I wouldn't want family in the waiting room either because I was obviously upset. Thankfully, further testing showed that the baby will be okay. I would just tell them no one else is allowed in the room.

Even if we didn't get a scare at the ultrasound, I would only want to share that with my husband. People need to back off. And remember, you are the patient - not your husband or anyone else - and you have the last say. If it's a battle, you can have the office tell them no ahead of time so it looks like you had nothing to do with it.

v&druston · March 2015

I completely understand. For our ultrasound we had a full house. In addition to my husband, my mom, my FIL & step-MIL were there. At first it was fine, they were all very excited and asking basic questions. But then they (everyone except my husband & me) starting bombarding the tech with questions. So many that the tech didn't even hear me ask a couple. My husband lost his patience with his parents & that started stressing me out. Especially when my FIL started asking questions about all of these unusual conditions that might show up. I wish they could have been there to enjoy the moment, but they kind of took over the appointment. Afterwards, they were all so excited it was hard to stay mad, but I think it will just be my husband & me for the 36 week ultrasound. Good luck!

biaromoy · March 2015

If you wanna spend the extra cash you can always do one of those 3D elective gender scans and they usually let an 'audience' come in. My hubby and I did a gender scan @ 17+5 (a little girl) and my dad and step mum came to my anatomy scan cause my hubby couldn't and he was just happy to know the gender first.

biaromoy · March 2015

Sorry I meant you could do it vice versa. Have his parents and yours at an elective scan and just you and your partner at the anatomy scan

vandalaRose · March 2015

I would continue to try to talk him into it being just the two of you if it were me and I brought my mother my whole family would know before we left the doctors office ! (She likes to reveal info that's not hers to reveal) lol if anything if he won't budge and they go with hopefully you get lucky and have the doctor not allow it !

ashes8902 · March 2015

My parents and grandmother came with us. But I made sure my husband was comfortable with that otherwise they wouldn't have come. They were all so excited because they'd never seen an ultrasound that in depth. We had seen the sex at the 12 week ultrasound so I think that made the difference too I'm very close with my family so if there had been something wrong I woulda called them the second I was finished anyway

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