MIL Question — The Bump
Snarky and T-TTC

MIL Question

Jmc211Jmc211 member
edited June 2014 in Snarky and T-TTC
My MIL is a nice women, drives me crazy at times, but over all I get along with her. Every-time she comes to visit my 19 month old daughter(usually 2 times per week) my MIL will coach my daughter to say "I love you". MIL will spend 5 minutes saying "Can you tell me you love me?" "Say I love you". It drives me mad! My daughter has never said "I love you" to anyone yet. But I'm hoping when she does say it for the first time it will be to me or my husband. I want her to love her grandma and everyone else in our lives, but hearing those 3 little words for the first time is something I'm looking forward to! Am I over reacting and should I just ignore this, or is it ok to tell her I'd be devastated if my daughter tells someone else "I love you" for first time? TIA

Re: MIL Question

  • I don't have any kids yet, but yeah I'd be annoyed. It seems like she's pushing it on her to say it. Even though I know I would be annoyed, maybe try to look at the good side of it? At least she loves her and wants her to feel the same. She's just being a grandma. I know from watching my nieces with my MIL, I'm probably going to be annoyed in the future when I do have kids but I think that's a part of it. I'd try to have some patience with her even if it does annoy you. Kind of like a glass half full thing. Just MHO.
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  • I think you're stressing about something that you don't have to here. We're talking about a 19 month old. Even if your daughter says the words, she doesn't know what she is saying. Heck, how many adults are still psycho-analyzing what love is? You know your daughter loves you. Let your MIL come over and show that she loves the baby. That's all that's happening here. You're blessed to have so much love there.
  • Well, that depends . . . Is she saying it in that cute baby voice tone? If so, I wouldn't worry about it.

    If not, I'd ask her why she is doing it. 
  • edited July 2015
    Your daughter can never have too many people to love and adore her. Relax, be careful not to tarnish an important relationship for your child and you. Mothers of all kinds drive us all mad sometimes.
  • I just teared up thinking about my daughter saying I love you to someone else, so I don't think it's an abnormal reaction. At the same time though, even if she does say it to someone else first, you're still her favorite. ;) 
  • Id be annoyed also BUT my grandma was always trying to bribe me as a kid and get me to say she was my fave grandma and I always saw it for what it was at a young age. So your kid will be onto her later anyways.
  • Does she even say "grandma" yet?? If not then maybe coax grandma to encourage your daughter to say that. If she already says grandma then tell grandma that you've been working with your daughter to say please when she wants something and thank you when she gets it. Maybe make a game out of it. Redirect grandma like you would your daughter when she does something she shouldn't. Grandma's don't know any better. ;-)
    TTC #1 since Sept. 14
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