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Insecurity after miscarriage

ninayoungninayoung member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
 I miscarried my twin boys a day shy of 18 weeks. Its been  4 days and aside from feeling overwhelmingly filled with grief. I can barely look at my body. I don't want anyone to look at me. I feel so insecure without my belly. This was my first pregnancy after 3 years of trying with my husband. I didn't think I would feel such  low self esteem. Getting dress makes me sad even taking a shower. My boobs are painfully engorged and knowing that the milk is for my babies I would never be able to hold makes me feel even worse. Is anyone having trouble with insecurity?
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Re: Insecurity after miscarriage

  • zimnizimni member
    So so sorry about your losses.
    Though I haven't experienced a loss so far along, but have gone through multiple losses in a year's time. I have questioned my body's ability to provide a safe home for my babies for a while.

    With time, I am pulling myself together by making myself realise that this is happening for a reason far greater than my body's control. What is meant for me will find its way when the time is right...and I will not beat myself up for it.

    It is tough I know but I really hope you find strength from within to take good care of yourself through this difficult phase. Sending hugs your way.
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  • lilp2015lilp2015 member
    So sorry for your loss.
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  • ninayoungninayoung member
    Thank you l appreciate and my heart is with you and I know one day soon we will both have our silver lining. I cannot imagine having to go through this again as it has been the worst thing in my life and I admire your strength. Its just been hard because throughout the pregnancy the babies were growing wonderfully and the Doctors just don't know why this happen. But like you said whats meant to be will find its way. Good luck, and many blessings.
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  • zimnizimni member
    I agree with you..not knowing why is the toughest part of it all. Stay strong. *hugs*
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  • tigerfish227tigerfish227 member
    I'm very sorry for your loss but I must say I'm glad to have found your post. 2 weeks ago I found out that my baby had stopped growing and that my body hadn't recognized the loss. I had my dating ultrasound at 7w6d with nothing to indicate any issues. My baby was measuring only 8w6d with no heartbeat at my next appointment when I should have been 11w6d. 3 weeks and my body was still acting like there was nothing wrong. I had to have a d&c procedure the next day and since then I can't shake the feeling that it was somehow my fault. I feel like I'm defective and even tho I still want a baby I am terrified that it will only happen again. The doctors and my mom have all told me repeatedly that what happened is not because of anything that I did but was most likely some chromosomal anomaly or hormonal issue. They said we probably won't ever know why but that it was actually very common. I'm just not sure I could handle it if it happens again. I find a small amount of comfort in that my sister lost her first one as well. She now has 2 beautiful children and only had the one loss. But her body recognized the loss and she miscarried naturally.
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