don't want anyone at hospital when I give birth

nicolemummyof2 · March 2015

So I was thinking maybe that I'd like for just my hubby and myself to be at the hospital when I give.birth to our son.

When I gave birth to my daughter EVERYONE was there. I just want this moment for us... But don't want to hurt feelings. I'm I a bad person for wanting this?

a316b · March 2015

Not. At. All.

If that's your wish- make it clear to everyone beforehand: family, friends, your OB, the nursing staff, hubby, etc.

I told my MIL that she wasn't allowed there due to hospital policy (lie) but we still told her beforehand.

And then don't tell anyone you're in labor until after you've had baby.

We ended up setting more strict parameters about who could visit us in hospital post partum after baby 1, but that seemed to go ok after baby 2.

This time around I think we will only tell my parents and sister (our childcare who live 10 min from us) and the rest of family and close friends after baby is born and we've been moved to a new room.

Good luck- and DONT FEEL BAD!

jmorneau09 · March 2015

Don't feel bad at all. I have been feeling this way as well. With our first it seemed like a constant parade of people. I'm really thinking that I would love for the entire first day to just be us, baby, and his big brother. I have a feeling that this will be almost impossible to have happen but I'm going to try. Both of our families seem to want to be up in it all.

sunnyday016 · March 2015

Don't feel bad. It's your birth experience and those first hours/days are so precious. Just tell who you want to tell. Everyone else can wait until you are ready.

beaseg · March 2015

Agreed with pp. Do what YOU want.

canadianmom89 · March 2015

Don't feel bad at all! This is my first and I'm a firm believer that it is my husband and I who are creating this new family and it is a special, private moment for us to share. My mom probably will be in the waiting room and if it ends up being a super long labour and my husband needs a break they may switch out for a bit but when it comes to the actual delivery and the first hour or two after it will just be the new little family. I'm also a very private person and I know I won't feel comfortable learning to breast feed with everyone around, especially my inlaws so we are really restricting visitors to the hospital and also for the first week at home.
Some people have gotten upset with us but I have a feeling this is going to happen a lot more now as not everyone will like the decision you make as a parent but they are your decisions to make and you have to do what works for you and no one else.

blankenbakerh · March 2015

Nope! We don't want anyone there this time either!

louloutte87 · March 2015

My husband got me into this mess and goddamnit he can be there til the end. I wouldn't even consider the rest of the family seeing my lady bits - none of their business!

louloutte87 · March 2015

My husband got me into this mess and goddamnit he can be there til the end. I wouldn't even consider the rest of the family seeing my lady bits - none of their business!

nogitron · March 2015

Don't feel bad at all! With my last, my ILs wanted to be camped out in the waiting room the whole time. I told them I didn't want the added pressure of knowing there were people waiting on me. Simply having the baby was hard enough! I told them we would tell them when we were ready for company - after the baby, after we both got cleaned up, after a nap. And to bring food and good coffee! Worked out nicely

aklove14 · March 2015

I want the same thing and I don't feel bad about it! This is my first baby and I've been kind of hoping that maybe I'll go into labor or have the baby late at night so everyone won't come to the hospital until after she's here. I'm easily overwhelmed and stressed so I think it's best for me to not have a ton of people there wrecking my nerves hopefully they all understand my reasons

crsanchez87 · March 2015

No one besides my husband and I will be in the room. My mom will be coming into town the week he is due but she won't be in the room since she stresses me out. We also will not be allowing visitors for the first couple of hours at least.

ALITAYLOR23 · March 2015

I'm having a c section so no one but me and my fiancé will be in there but my friend is coming down and wants to wait in the waiting room for us which is stressing me out because after he's born j want it to be just me and my man so I can breast feed and skin to skin without feeling the need to cover up. I might just say the first hour is just us and that well call when he's out and we're ready for people.

lisalisanorgren · March 2015

I'm feeling the same way and am also getting major guilt trips from my mom. But at the end of the day, this is probably the second most intimate experience my husband and I will ever have - it's also important to feel as comfortable as possible and I just know that with my mom there, I'll be stressed.

sakafa · March 2015

I know its hard to stand up for what you want and I have a nightmare of a situation with my MIL regarding delivery but just do what's right for you and your family. We are not going to contact anyone until after baby is here and we are ready for visitors. We created this little miracle and we get to do what right for us especially in thismoment. I hope it works out the way you it to

bbmcblack · March 2015

I with you! I don't want the pressure of people in the waiting room while I am in labor. They will find out when he arrives. I'm secretly hoping he comes overnight so we don't have to feel guilty about not warning anyone!

amandalynne3470 · March 2015

Don't feel bad. I did that with my first and I am going to do the same with this one. I just didn't want all the chaos of so many people and for everyone to see me so exposed. It was a beautiful moment for us and I do not regret it one bit.

rae430 · March 2015

I'm with you. I don't want anyone but my DH and me in the room during labor and for at least an hour afterwards. My mom has already guilted me about it, but tough cookies! Everyone has the rest of their lives to hang out with the baby, but you only have one chance to spend those first moments alone with DH and your brand new child. Stick to your guns!

ldmw · March 2015

You are not a bad person. This is about you and your husband and your son, not anyone else. Do what you want, tell others, and stick to it. We are doing the same as you.

mhilpisch10 · March 2015

I am a firm believer that this is one of the most precious moments in your relationship and life. I only want my husband there. That's how we did it the first time around and I wouldn't change it for the world. I did love having visitors the next day though. It's so excited and it's so sweet to see the love they have for their grandchild or niece or nephew.

MrsS728 · March 2015

We have made it clear that we want at a minimum an hour to bond with the baby before anyone sees us. If they baby has to be taken out of the room, then my husband will go with her and my mom will stand in for my husband with me. We have also made it clear that we want to come home, just the three of us. It's going to be a big change for us and for our puppy and we want to have that time. After that, people are welcome to come over as long as they arrive after 9am and leave before 7pm (and they must call first).

shelles423 · March 2015

I'm the same way. I don't want anyone there but my mom says she has to be there so i can't really tell hubby's fam they can't come if i let my mom come. I just really want the hospital time to be just hubby and i bonding time with baby so i need to figure out a way to tell my mom not to come

BrooksManor · March 2015

I'm still working this one out in my head. I want just me and him but I want someone to take the first photos. I don't know if my hubby will be capable lol I want the baby on my chest after birth unless medically necessary ect. I get stressed and overwhelmed easy. I don't want people in there bawling and getting in my face when I'm trying to focus on the baby. My husband said he wants his mom but my mom can't be in there so I rather no one be in there when it's time. It's complicated. Feelings will be hurt but it's just the way it is. Everyone is so excited but waiting another hour will have to do.

ashybashy808102014 · March 2015

nope. be open with your family if they're trying to be pushy about it. there's nothing wrong with that. you experienced it with everyone there the first time, nows the time to try something new

duynguyen51 · March 2015

Don't feel bad hun, it is your choice and you have the right to do what is best for you. I feel the same way, this is our first child and I've already told hubby I only want him in the delivery room. I am modest so I want my privacy and I like to be as comfortable as possible. I want to be able to not care how I look and having to talk to other peoples and just focus on the baby. I will let family & close friends know once we are ready and they could still come then. Do what you want because you don't want that one precious experience to be taking away from you just because you feel obligated to do something you don't want to. Good luck !

nicolemummyof2 · March 2015

Thanks everyone

ldmw · March 2015

I don't want anyone at the hospital until many hours after birth, or maybe even the next day. We have some family that are completely understanding. We have other family that think this is their child also, and that conversation did not go well. Their feelings may be hurt, but reading all of this reminds me this is DH and my time. Our baby. Our experience. We're going to keep it that way whether they like it or not. And plus, who is really going to be mad once they meet the new baby? Well, some may hold a grudge but oh well!

don't want anyone at hospital when I give birth

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