Babies: 0 - 3 Months

Mother in Law Help! She's crazy!

My mother in law is going to be the death of me. We have never seen eye to eye. She is rather self centered and if things aren't about her then she makes the situation about her. At my baby shower she gave me a boat full of books. I asked her why a boat and she said it was to take pictures in. Someone mistook it for a tub and she jumped up and said Oh No! That is a boat and it cost over $200. I think that amount of money could have been spent on something I needed, not a boat. After my little man got here she proceeded to scold me for breastfeeding. She said that it was rude not to bottle and formula feed the baby because it wasn't letting her be involved. She comes over any time without notice, she lives two roads over. Baby and I have finally gotten on a little schedule and she will come over when he's napping and wake him up to play dress up and take pictures then leave and he gets really upset. I can't take it anymore. My boyfriend defends his mom and I'm just blowing everything out of proportion. I'm at a loss for what to do!

Re: Mother in Law Help! She's crazy!

  • Oh no! I hate to hear this. We are kinda experiencing the opposite with hubs mom.
    I wish I knew something to tell you. I would say talk to your boyfriend but it sounds like he doesn't want to see your side. Maybe try again??
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    Proud Mom to Kaleigh (14yr) Emma (12yr) and Hanna (7yr)


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  • Your BF needs to talk to his mother. You need to be firm about your boundaries.


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  • If she allergic to animals? My MIL is allergic to cats and dogs..I got one of each, now she can't come over once the baby is born because otherwise I know she would be here 24/7. Now I just need to find a way to prevent my mom because out of the 2 grandmothers, my mom is the worse one and incredibly opinionated and judgmental. Haha

    But on a serious note, you are just going to have to put your foot down w/her and not let her near the baby when he is sleeping and it might come down to either letting her complain and voice her opinion and then ignore it/brush it off or thanking her for her advice but state you are happy with the way things are. Sorry you are going through this!
  • Take charge, mama! Tell her she's welcome to come back at ________ time when the baby is awake.
  • I feel your pain. I tried telling my control freak MIL to ask what time suits rather than just come whenever and expect to hold the baby, she never asked, she just sent texts saying she was coming, so I'd reply and let her know it wasn't a good time, she'd come anyway then crack it when she didn't get to hold the baby. It's not all about her!!!! My hubby thinks she's just so loving etc etc etc and doesn't see she is manipulative and selfish. I had a fight with her and she guilt tripped hubby. So if confronting mine didn't work, asking nicely and explaining didn't work for me, then I'm so sorry for you too and please let me know if you find a way around it!!!!
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  • Lock the door and don't let her in sounds rude but I have done it even without having baby. If they do not have the decency of asking before showing up you do not need to open the door to them. Your home is exactly that your home it should be a place of relaxing and shelter not open to animals who do not have manners. If she has a key then change the locks.
  • No shame here. I've parked my car around the corner & locked the door. My MIL used to try to drop in without notice. I disabled the door bell & let her sit n' stew until we were ready.

    She tried to complain to my husband, but thank God he was like, "if you don't let us know in advance then you get to sit in the car. It's rude for you to show up without notice & wake the baby."

    She got it eventually. She still bitches but she knows I'll make good on my boundaries.


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  • @chmwilliams : I'm honestly don't know if you just like to be contrary vs. Helpful?


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  • I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I would talk to your bf and tell him he needs to support you in this matter. As for your mother in law you have to tell her straight up that this Behavior is not approved of. Your the mother not Her and that how you raise your child is your business. I'm kinda going through this myself. I'm expecting my first and I've gotten the bottle feeding complaining too. I had to tell my mil that this is what I feel is best for my child and I will not hear any "advice" on the matter anymore. Sadly your going to have to put your foot down before this gets out of hand.
    Best of luck and keep up posted!
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