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Single mother by choice. Baby last name.

garcianoragarcianora member
in June 2015 Moms
I need your advice please.
I will be a single mother by choice in 2 months. My baby girl will be born in texas. I have 2 last names. I want to know which lastname or surname have your baby: your paternal, your maternal, both combination, a new one random choice or a new one you like or invented ?
Thanks for your help.
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Re: Single mother by choice. Baby last name.

  • MamaBishMamaBish member
    Hmmm, I wouldn't want my baby to have an entirely different name than me if I were to be a single mom. Just seems like it would be harder to deal with logistically. I would choose one of your last names or give baby the same name as you.
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  • karaelaine1991karaelaine1991 member
    I agree with @MamaBish, I would want my baby to have the same last name as me, so I'd either use both of your last names or pick whichever one you prefer. 
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  • annatta79annatta79 member
    Give her one or both of your last names. Do you expect that the father may become involved? In Texas, the courts will favor the child having the father's last name, if he makes it an issue. Having your daughter with the same last name as yours will make your argument to keep that name much stronger.
      Blessed Mama to the sweetest boy in the world (11/9/13), one angel baby, and two fur babies: Mattie Dog and Stanley Cat.
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  • laurendutchlaurendutch member
    Either use both or your last names or the one that you go by most.

    My friend's first husband passed away when her daughter was two and she was pregnant, so the kids have her late husband's last name. She has since remarried and has 3 more kids. Sometimes she has issues with the different last name than her kids...but its also important for her for the kids to have their dad's last name. 
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  • KaLikeAWindKaLikeAWind member
    I agree. Use both your last names or the one you 'default' to if you are in a position where you are unable to use both.
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  • devyns2nddevyns2nd member
    Why not go back to your maiden name? Then you and baby will have your name and no connection to the father. If that's what you were going for.
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  • mvargas12mvargas12 member
    I have two maiden last names as well. My mom never changed her last name (even though my parents were married and still are) So they gave me both. I go by the first one more often than not, like people will say Ms. ABC rather than Ms. ABC-XYZ (does that make sense?) if you want your baby to have both of your last names then go for it, if not then I'd say use the first one
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  • casey06022015casey06022015 member
    edited March 2015
    I am in the same situation.. And I'm giving her my last name. I figured it'll be easier when it comes to doctors appointments and school... And traveling. It was hard for me at first to decide but I figured I am going to be the one taking care of her so why wouldn't she have my last name? I don't even think the dad has even given the idea thought, oh well!

    I think going with whatever you think is best! If you like both of your last names, then go for it! Like previous posts... The baby will be used to it growing up so she won't mind!

    Edited to finish my thought.
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  • casey06022015casey06022015 member
    RandAllie1823 said:

    Use YOUR last name. The argument some people make about two last names being too much for a kid isn't really an issue... You know what you grow up with. Also to second @annatta79 if you involve the father's last name in any way its SUPER hard to get it removed later down the road if need be. 


    Besides, think how special she will feel being the same as mommy when she's in school- you two are a team :)
    I like the team idea :-) made me feel better about my situation, too.
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  • KonaCoffeeBeanKonaCoffeeBean member
    edited March 2015
    I'm confused. Is one of your names a marital name or is more like your parents' names hyphenated?
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  • Frogger5Frogger5 member
    KonaCoffeeBean said:

    I'm confused. Is one of your names a marital name or is more like your parents' names hyphenated?

    I feel compelled to answer - it's likely her mom's last name and her dad's last name, but no hyphen. Very common among some Hispanic/Latin American cultures. I don't really understand the OP's question because why wouldn't you just give the baby the same as you have if the father's name isn't among the possibilities you're considering? I'll admit though that I'm intrigued by the idea of giving the baby a new last name that is random/you like/you invent. It makes me chuckle to myself to imagine everyone's bewilderment upon receiving the birth announcement.
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  • ElRubyElRuby member
    A made up last name might be even worse than a made up first name.... Don't do it... Talk about an identity crisis in the making!
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  • ksanchaksancha member
    edited March 2015
    Me and my husband have a very long and hard to pronounce last name. It's two separate names with no hyphen, so since we usually don't use the second last name, we are only going to give him our first last name. So I would use whatever you normally introduce yourself as if you really want to shorten or leave a name out
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  • KonaCoffeeBeanKonaCoffeeBean member
    Frogger5 said:

    KonaCoffeeBean said:

    I'm confused. Is one of your names a marital name or is more like your parents' names hyphenated?

    I feel compelled to answer - it's likely her mom's last name and her dad's last name, but no hyphen. Very common among some Hispanic/Latin American cultures. I don't really understand the OP's question because why wouldn't you just give the baby the same as you have if the father's name isn't among the possibilities you're considering? I'll admit though that I'm intrigued by the idea of giving the baby a new last name that is random/you like/you invent. It makes me chuckle to myself to imagine everyone's bewilderment upon receiving the birth announcement.



    This is what I thought, but I was confused by the replies talking about why the baby's father's name shouldnot be used. That doesn't even appear to be up for consideration.
    Coffee Bean Born 6/13/15.
    2nd round exp 8/20/18.
    Meow.
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  • Frogger5Frogger5 member
    KonaCoffeeBean said:

    Frogger5 said:

    KonaCoffeeBean said:

    I'm confused. Is one of your names a marital name or is more like your parents' names hyphenated?

    I feel compelled to answer - it's likely her mom's last name and her dad's last name, but no hyphen. Very common among some Hispanic/Latin American cultures. I don't really understand the OP's question because why wouldn't you just give the baby the same as you have if the father's name isn't among the possibilities you're considering? I'll admit though that I'm intrigued by the idea of giving the baby a new last name that is random/you like/you invent. It makes me chuckle to myself to imagine everyone's bewilderment upon receiving the birth announcement.



    This is what I thought, but I was confused by the replies talking about why the baby's father's name shouldnot be used. That doesn't even appear to be up for consideration.
    I think OP's wording confused some other posters. Also I'm on mobile so I can't check, but I think OP hasn't come back anyway!
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