Grandparents and Daycare

jacquelineann12 · March 2015

My husbands grandparents have been putting us on guilt trips for choosing daycare over them to watch our baby. They are in their early 80's and in somewhat good health. However, grandma's been hospitalized twice in the last year and they both have fallen a few times. We have told them several times we are going with a daycare provider but they continue to bring it up. I LOVE them but how do I explain why we want a daycare to watch our baby over them without hurting their feelings??

karaelaine1991 · March 2015

Maybe talk to them about the educational benefits of daycare? Daycares usually have certain educational standards that they strive to meet. Telling them that you feel it will prepare your baby for the future might go over a little better than pointing out the safety risks of leaving a newborn with them, which, for the record, I think are completely valid reasons for choosing daycare over them. They may be in fantastic health for their age and I hope that continues, but you never know what might happen. I totally understand why you wouldn't want to hurt their feelings though!

laurendutch · March 2015

I think you are making a wise choice. Having kids and especially an infant is tiring. I'm in my 30s and I just want to crash some days! I have a feeling that they don't quite remember how much work a little one is.

Can you think of a special activity that they could do together on nights or the weekend?

auburnmamma · March 2015

Tell them you want them to be great grandparents and not a daycare provider. It will allow them to enjoy the baby more! Promise them they have first pick for date nights and such.

laurendutch · March 2015

I would just stress to them that you want them to enjoy their great grandchild...not be responsible for the everyday care.

amooraxo · March 2015

I agree with going with daycare.

I am lucky that my MIL stays at home so when I go back to work she will be watching LO, but she's not in her 80's... not even close. It's nothing bad on them, but I wouldn't want someone at the age watching my infant. Anything can happen to anyone at any time... but at that age, it's definitely something to be much more concerned about, they should be understanding of that.

HoosOnFirst · March 2015

I'm in a related boat - my mom offered to come up for 2 days a week to watch LO but she lives out of state so that means she'd essentially live with us two days a week. I had to politely say we appreciate it but would prefer daycare, but it's really hard and I'm sure she's somewhat hurt. It does mean I can no longer complain about daycare prices in front of her though! Me and DH both love my mom but we are too private to have anyone live with us, no matter whose relative it is.

Emilywooddesign · March 2015

I didn't read the others replies but I would just say that I was sending my kid to daycare so they can socialize with other kids

trytry38ever · March 2015

Like others have said let them know about the benefits of daycare and also might want to tell them that there will be plenty of time with the baby and give it to them. I don't mean to leave the baby with them long but say you need to go to the store, gym, or date for a hour to two let them watch. But depends on how they are health wise are they still driving going out on there own etc. I worked with some seniors who you would be surprised what they do when they are 80.

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