Struggling with self-image.

MommaDuck15 · March 2015

As my body is changing, and I'm gaining weight, I'm having a very hard time accepting it and seeing my slimmer self past it all. Someone please tell me I'm not alone?

ksimo6 · March 2015

I think everyone goes through this to some extent. During my last pregnancy, I had a woman tell me all about how this girl at her work was pregnant and "just perfect! All belly and skinny face and skinny legs...". I looked at her and said "So that makes me a fucking WHALE?!" My husband escorted me out for fear that I would punch her... and then I cried the whole way home.

Just try to remind yourself that your body is changing in order to take care of your child...and that, in a few short months, you can get outside and walk with your babe and take some of the control of your appearance back. Feed yourself with healthy food and try to be kind to yourself until then.

Pregnancy is not an easy process, emotioanlly or physically... hang in there mama.

casey06022015 · March 2015

I can relate-- I had a friend tell me yesterday... "Not to worry about all this weight im gaining..." And that "I'll make a comeback to my old body" .. And I hadn't even asked for his opinion! I find myself looking at old pictures and feeling so discouraged as I always am self-conscious now in public since some recent "oh my god your not even going to make it to your due date!!!" Comments! I swear sometimes I just wanna hibernate in my house until June!

Mommaswizz · March 2015

I can definitely relate, dont feel like you're all alone! Having struggled with distorted body image, eating disorders through college and trying to get healthy + skinny for my wedding last July, I still find myself having a hard time every time i step on the scale. After losing 30 lbs and looking faaaaaaaabulous for my wedding, I thoroughly enjoyed eating whatever i pleased during my honeymoon and then during August and September. Just as i was ready to get back to my diet to ditch the lbs i regained, i got my BFP. It made me sad to not kick off this pregnancy at my nice lower weight but I've tried to be as healthy as I can and not focus on the number. I still feel like i look too big. Thankfully my husband continues to tell me I'm beautiful and that I'm pregnant and NOT FAT which helps to be reminded of here and there. I just pray that the last 3ish months of this pregnancy don't make me too depressed about my body. Im focusing on bringing a baby into this world as healthy as i can be.

Ignore people's stupid comments. I hate being asked how much weight i've gained or being reminded that "you'll lose the weight if you breastfeed" or "don't forget you need to lose this weight afterwards!". People tend to be awkward and have no clue what to say around a pregnant lady, I'm just completely convinced.

Serenamarr · March 2015

I am having trouble lately because I want to look pregnant, but I am carrying very low and my stomach is not at all that nice round "baby in here!" Shape. I was pretty muscular before pregnancy and somehow my upper abs are still holding on so my stomach is the weirdest shape- out under my boobs, then flat where my diaphragm is, then round at the bottom. So when I wear maternity clothes I just look like I have a beer gut. People are usually surprised when I tell them I'm pregnant which I find almost more insulting than if they had commented on how big the baby must be or something... Like no I didn't just decide to gain 30 pounds for fun. I want to be round gosh darn it!!!

knwilliams01 · March 2015

I completely understand - my mother and grandmother are just appalled by the amount of weight my doctor wants me to gain. They constantly remind me that they only gained 15lb total when they were pregnant, and that I have to lose all this weight sometime. Went to the doctor yesterday and she was happy with my weight gain and told me I have gained the perfect amount so far for my body. She told me not to change a thing - which was very reassuring. So I've decided I need to stop listening to people who don't know what they are talking about.

mjschenk · March 2015

I actually am also really struggling but have been lucky with mostly really nice comments like "you are just so cute" but I think my hormones are getting the best of me because I still look in the mirror or down at my tummy and feel huge. And actually the nurse at my last appointment recorded my weight like 7 lbs heavier than her scale said and it made me want to cry.

AnAdult · March 2015

@Mommaswizz "don't forget you need to lose this weight afterwards!" This was the topic my MIL decided to stick to today for the whole evening!..

(

And also today at our local grocery shop a woman came to me and told me with a very surprised face that she didn't recognize me and that why on earth would I gain so much weight at my age. I'm 29 years old whatever this could mean for her and am expecting my second...and since I really don't know her I'm absolutely sure she has no idea how old I really am (because I look younger) and even if she did know my age...anyway, she obviously lives in our neighborhood and has seen me before I guess. I REALLY don't know her!

( (at least didn't know her before)

I was already overweight (obese? - 102 kgs) when I got pregnant and have gained 7 kgs by now. I don't think it's a big deal (for now of course...) and luckily neither does my doctor.

What is wrong with the people?

(

P.S.. when I instinctively defended myself saying I was on my 6th month of pregnancy she said "oh well, than not to worry! You have good reason to look like this!"
What if I really was not pregnant? She would have still attacked me like this, right? How can this be ok? Again! What is wrong with people?

(

Mommaswizz · March 2015

@AnAdult YES WTF Is wrong with people? I wanted to be like "WHAT?! REALLY?! I DON'T AUTOMATICALLY LOSE ALL OF THIS WEIGHT WHEN I HAVE THE BABY?? BUT THAT'S HOW IT WORKS FOR THE CELEBRITIES ON US WEEKLY!!"

Ugh I dont understand how getting pregnant gave people free reign to give me all their opinions. I really should let my hormones run wild

OnWayto3 · March 2015

I am in COMPLETE agreement with you! With my past two pregnancies, I was 'all belly' and quite big... However, I felt sexy and good about myself. Now I feel awful about myself. Just terrible. With each pregnancy, it seems I stretch in a new place-- this go 'round it's my upper stomach. Each new area = new stretch marks. lol

Anyway, try to remember that you're beautiful...but I do know that's easier said that felt.

AnAdult · March 2015

@Mommaswizz exactly!
I was quite surprised later today, when I was alone, to catch myself "answering" out loud to that not so polite lady with words I should've said if I had been a little bit prepared for the attack...
i don't want to be so stressed about this! @casey06022015 maybe I should also barricade my home and stay there until the big day!

))

MrsCaliRN · March 2015

Serenamarr said:
I am having trouble lately because I want to look pregnant, but I am carrying very low and my stomach is not at all that nice round "baby in here!" Shape. I was pretty muscular before pregnancy and somehow my upper abs are still holding on so my stomach is the weirdest shape- out under my boobs, then flat where my diaphragm is, then round at the bottom. So when I wear maternity clothes I just look like I have a beer gut. People are usually surprised when I tell them I'm pregnant which I find almost more insulting than if they had commented on how big the baby must be or something... Like no I didn't just decide to gain 30 pounds for fun. I want to be round gosh darn it!!!

Yes! This! I totally have this belly shape. I was starting to think I was the only one. Super annoying to not have that perfectly concave/C-shaped belly most other pregnant mamas have.

I've gained about 16 lbs in the blink of an eye and am still baffled as to how it all happened. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I'm convinced I'm always going to feel this exhausted, winded and hungry, even after LO gets here. I forgot what it was like to fee "normal" and in control of my energy levels and food cravings.

elizab14 · March 2015

I lost my breath last night laughing. I feel like a linebacker. I'm ok looking at myself from the front but when I turn to the side I think I look way too big for 6 months. Then I freak out that if I'm this big now, then how am I going to look at the end of this whole thing?!? I've given myself a lot of grace during this time over my body issues but they still sneak up and get me.

Addelie · March 2015

I'm also having a slightly hard time accepting the body change, both now and with the fact that some things will never be the same again. I don't talk about it to anyone other than DH because I know it's vain and ungrateful. I'm acknowledging that my slim and tight tummy days are over, and my nipples have grown and spread out in a way that's not great, but I know that these changes are a very small price to pay for this little one.

virginiaunicorn11 · March 2015

@MrsCaliRN and @Serenamarr, I have that weird belly shape, too!! I feel like a two hump camel! Can't change it, so I just try to find ways to laugh about and enjoy it.

A year ago, I read some advice about anxiety. The article said "just get over your shit." Obviously not good for everyone, but it worked wonders for me. I frequently tell myself, "Oh, you're 7 months pregnant and you feel like a camel?! Shocking. Get over your shit and move on." It helps me with most of my problems, because I am fortunate enough to have mostly "first world problems" - with just enough real things going on, to help me keep perspective.

Hope you find a way to make your own peace with your body. It's doing some amazing things on the inside, so forgive its sins on the outside for a while...

gaylew5 · March 2015

Okay, i am pissed today. My pre-preg pant size was a 2. I've been sensitive about the pregnancy weight gain (about 30 lbs at 26 weeks). My husband's mom initially bought some pants for me size 4 (i told her usally 2s however depending on the cut 4 is ok since i'm not trying them on, just to be safe. ) and they all fit just fine except one of the jeans the top of the maternity band (above the bellybutton) has a thick elastic band and digs in me a little bit. so then he tells her and she is all "i knew she needed a bigger size".. and today in my mail there are two pairs of pants. both 6s. I know that I have a smaller frame than many people... but regardless, just picture someone buying 4 sizes up for you even though you tell them this is not your correct size and you are already sensitive about your weight. you'd be annoyed too right? i'm not sure how to handle this. i may return them and get credit. or give them away to goodwill. i refuse to even try them on.

virginiaunicorn11 · March 2015

gaylew5 said:
Okay, i am pissed today. My pre-preg pant size was a 2. I've been sensitive about the pregnancy weight gain (about 30 lbs at 26 weeks). My husband's mom initially bought some pants for me size 4 (i told her 2s and 4s are ok, depending on the cut) and they all fit just fine except one of the jeans the top of the maternity band (above the bellybutton) has a thick elastic band and digs in me a little bit. so then he tells her and she is all "i knew she needed a bigger size".. and today in my mail there are two pairs of pants. both 6s. I know that I have a smaller frame than many people... but regardless, just picture someone buying 4 sizes up for you even though you tell them this is not your correct size and you are already sensitive about your weight. you'd be annoyed too right? i'm not sure how to handle this. i may return them and get credit. or give them away to goodwill. i refuse to even try them on.

That a girl, refuse to try them on!

Your MIL sounds like a real... Sweet lady for still buying you things despite your princess attitude. Barf. You are behaving like a spoiled and ungrateful child. Send the pants back and buy your own freaking clothes in whatever little size you want.

gaylew5 · March 2015

amark11 said:

gaylew5 said:
Okay, i am pissed today. My pre-preg pant size was a 2. I've been sensitive about the pregnancy weight gain (about 30 lbs at 26 weeks). My husband's mom initially bought some pants for me size 4 (i told her 2s and 4s are ok, depending on the cut) and they all fit just fine except one of the jeans the top of the maternity band (above the bellybutton) has a thick elastic band and digs in me a little bit. so then he tells her and she is all "i knew she needed a bigger size".. and today in my mail there are two pairs of pants. both 6s. I know that I have a smaller frame than many people... but regardless, just picture someone buying 4 sizes up for you even though you tell them this is not your correct size and you are already sensitive about your weight. you'd be annoyed too right? i'm not sure how to handle this. i may return them and get credit. or give them away to goodwill. i refuse to even try them on.
That a girl, refuse to try them on!

Your MIL sounds like a real... Sweet lady for still buying you things despite your princess attitude. Barf. You are behaving like a spoiled and ungrateful child. Send the pants back and buy your own freaking clothes in whatever little size you want.

yeah, my husband came home and explained that all the intentions were good (which i knew). she is a nice lady. i'm just hormonal and blobby.

balderasmama · March 2015

I have been feeling the same. This is my fourth baby and everything stretches faster and just...more. I have gained 34 lbs each pregnancy and as of now I am ahead of schedule and feel huge. It is definitely worth it, but telling your psychotic hormonal pregnancy brain doesn't sink in very well. I have been yelling at my husband "I'm getting fat!" Like it's his fault. 8-} Poor guy, lol. He's learned by he fourth time to just ignore me.

ElRuby · March 2015

Try to think about something you did before you were pregnant that made you feel great about yourself... Is that something you might be able to do now? I always feel good after a hair cut or even a fancy bubble bath (I know it's kinda silly) but that gives me a little self esteem boost and it's easy enough to accomplish.... Best of luck to you!

kherman14 · March 2015

I so feel you. I'm a FIRST TIME MOM, I had hard time accepting the change. My belly finally grew but I felt awkward wearing fitted t shirts so I went and bought some maternity tops so people don't stare at me. I'm small still but its sprouting out. My husband thinks I look sexy and gorgeous. Why I cannot believe him?!

mrskilcrease · March 2015

Man im going through the same thing. I put on a fitted shirt and was like Oh no that's really awkward. I really only feel comfortable in sweaters or my husband's shirts now. Even though he swears I look good either way lol! It's just so hard to see the old me I was Happy with . I can't say I am too upset with my body but I tell you the change is sooooo Weird.

HoosOnFirst · March 2015

For me the shift was when I moved to maternity clothes. Everything actually fit right and I was comfy. It made such a difference as to how I carried myself. I was owning my new size and shape. It took me two trips to the maternity store to get there, but it really helped me! I hesitated spending money on clothes but it was worth it.

mrskilcrease · March 2015

I get scared to spend the money on maternity clothes. Not really for the money but just seeing the sizes get so much bigger o.o

HoosOnFirst · March 2015

The beauty is you wear the same size you did before! So it doesn't feel terrible

If you were say, a medium pre-pregnancy you will wear a medium maternity clothes. It actually feels better than buying normal clothes in increasingly larger sizes.

mindaa · March 2015

Yes, definitely. Yes, I chose this and know its temporary, but it's still a daily mental battle to stay positive. Even though i totally agree that its a first world problem that i just need to get over. And because of that, its not really a feeling that's acceptable to confess to IRL.
Fortunately most everyone has been mostly positive, but its amazing how those few little bad comments are the ones that replay in your head and threaten to negate all the niceness.

And I feel like almost like I'm letting people down... Because I was petite and in shape, friends probably expected me to be this cute little belly on a toothpick. And in the 2nd tri i loved my cute little bump. But i have an athletic build, not waifish, and now I've swelled up all over and already look like this kid could come any day

KaLikeAWind · March 2015

I know that I felt better after picking up a few cute maternity tops to wear. I got a fitted maternity tee at Target and its now my favorite shirt to wear. I feel cute in it. I think that we still need to pay attention to that part of us that wants to look in the mirror and go 'I look good', and there are definitely clothing items out there that can help to accent our shapes and give us that boost. It's just a question of finding them, is all. A friend gave me a bunch of maternity clothes and I thought they were... unflattering. Once I found a few items that fit me and made me still feel feminine, I felt better. I'm a total comfort over couture person, so I don't mind and usually don't care if I'm slouching around in hoodies and whatnot, but the times I want to look a little like I haven't just crawled out of bed I've been grateful for those few items I found

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