Help! Being called fat and asking why Iam eating at work

bee19831 · March 2015

I'm so upset , ever since I got pregnant a ️co worker keeps calling me huge! And wow your baby will be huge and why are you eating again ? Today I have barely ate and I don't feel like defending myself everyday ! I'm exhausted and I honestly don't feel like eating . I can't start excerczjng , I go for walks but how can I loose weight ???

laurendutch · March 2015

This sounds like an issue to take to HR.

karaelaine1991 · March 2015

That's ridiculous. I would actually consider that to be harassment, especially if you've already confronted your co-worker about how inappropriate those comments are. Is there an HR department who you can speak with about reminding the co-worker that the work environment should be a place of respect? Or maybe your boss?

On the topic of losing weight, you should probably refer to your doctor about if it would be healthy for you to do so. It's completely normal to gain weight during pregnancy - there's a tiny human growing in you, and he/she needs to eat, too!

bee19831 · March 2015

I don't have a hr , and my boss won't care. He will say just deal with it yourself like always . Almost want to quit early , I don't think I can handle it anymore .

karaelaine1991 · March 2015

bee19831 said:
I don't have a hr , and my boss won't care. He will say just deal with it yourself like always . Almost want to quit early , I don't think I can handle it anymore .

That's really unfortunate... I can't think of any effective way to address the situation besides confronting the co-worker, going above her head to your boss, or leaving. I think there are requirements about having harassment policies in place, but I'm not a lawyer so I can't offer any real advice about how to go about solving these situations when your boss won't cooperate. Good luck!

Knottie64157109 · March 2015

HR girl. She is being insensitive at the least. They will help you have the conversation with this idiot.

karaelaine1991 · March 2015

Knottie64157109 said:
HR girl. She is being insensitive at the least. They will help you have the conversation with this idiot.

Apparently she doesn't have one at her workplace... truly sucks, especially since her boss isn't sympathetic!

laurendutch · March 2015

I would start to look up your state workforce laws. This is creating a hostile work environment and if your boss does nothing...he may be held responsible.

mvargas12 · March 2015

If you don't have HR and your boss won't help, I would just tell your coworker off. Next time just be snarky about it. Remind her you are pregnant. If it's a woman just say you hope no one is that rude to her when she is pregnant. Let your hormones roar, girl. Your peace of mind is important. Don't let a bully take that away.

MamaBish · March 2015

mvargas12 said:
If you don't have HR and your boss won't help, I would just tell your coworker off. Next time just be snarky about it. Remind her you are pregnant. If it's a woman just say you hope no one is that rude to her when she is pregnant. Let your hormones roar, girl. Your peace of mind is important. Don't let a bully take that away.

This. Don't let them do that to you.

hswan26 · March 2015

If you don't have an HR and your supervisor doesn't do anything about it I would seek out an attorney and probably file suits against both the individual and the company. It's not fair to you to be treated that way and you don't have to out up with it.

ngaines27 · March 2015

When I was pregnant with DD1, I had a coworker literally "moo" at me while I was eating an afternoon snack. I filed a complaint with HR for harassment and he was reprimanded. If you don't have this option, I agree with @laurendutch.

Katerina&Baby · March 2015

What is your response to your coworker when she says things like that?

Step 1 is telling your coworker that she's being inappropriate and hurtful and shutting that shit down EVERY TIME (it is NEVER okay to comment on a coworker's body - being pregnant does not make your body public property to be touched or commented on).

Step 2 is documenting every comment she makes (actual quotes, your response, with times and dates - keep an ongoing list) and going to your boss with it if Step 1 isn't working. That way you can say "Look - I've explained that her comments are completely inappropriate and have asked her repeatedly to stop but she's clearly not taking me seriously. I think it's time for you to step in here because she's making me really uncomfortable." and actually show your boss that this is a real problem (and not just a "so and so said something one time that hurt my feelings").

dancegurl1118 · March 2015

A simple "shut the fuck up, you miserable cow" should suffice in the absence of HR.

Kidding aside, I'm sorry you have to deal with the body shaming at work. Don't let it get to you (as hard as that may be).

taboullio84 · March 2015

Tell your coworker to piss off before you eat that aggravating twit too.

KonaCoffeeBean · March 2015

Have you told your coworker that this bothers you in a nice, or justifiably not nice, way?

mamayo26 · March 2015

Say "thank you doctor, but my OB says I am just fine." and walk away. Per a previous post, people think that b/c you are pregnant that gives them the right to say whatever they want. I have had several people (mostly men--whose wives have had babies) say oh you're almost done right? I'm small and carry big. I'm also a snarky bitch, and say right back to them, "No, but thanks for calling me fat." Then I blame it on the hormones, although it is really just me...they do a ton of other stuff to piss me off on a regular basis so I don't really feel all that bad. But since it sounds like you work for a smaller company with no HR, you may need to be a little bit more creative...is there something you can harp on him/her about (balding, rudeness, lazy, slow, etc.)

KaLikeAWind · March 2015

If you don't have an HR and your boss tells you to deal with yourself, then I would probably handle this one of two ways, or a combination of the two. Both have been mentioned already. 1) document each incident, and what was said to you. Educate yourself about harassment laws in your state / federal, etc and bring your documentation to boss explaining how he needs to provide a safe work place or you will go thru proper channels to force him to do so. 2) Since you boss told you to handle it yourself, that sounds like open ticket to verbally retaliate. Raging Bitch Mode, Engaged! He can't come down on you for laying into this person cause he won't address their behavior himself, and he did, after all, tell you to handle it yourself.

Good luck

Emilywooddesign · March 2015

Tell your co worker to go and fuck themselves, you shouldn't be worrying about losing weight when you are pregnant. I would literally go Ham on someone if they said that to me. If you are considering quitting anyway, I would get the F out of there, but I would totally give your cunty co worker a piece of your mind and then slit their car tires and probably egg their house with 4 week old eggs that you left sitting out in the sun. Who treats another human that way, let alone a pregnant lady.

If you aren't comfortable telling them off, give me their phone number and I will gladly tell them what's up.

TheAlmostMom · March 2015

Don't try to lose weight while pregnant unless doctor instructed. That just screams "terrible for baby" to me.

bee19831 · March 2015

Thanks everyone ! Yep tried being mean back , ignoring her , and telling her it wasn't very nice and I don't like it . I will try again I

KaLikeAWind · March 2015

Use the old "at least I have a valid reason to put on weight, unlike you" standby. Or tell her she has buck teeth or a horse's nose. Ordinarily I would avoid being mean to someone about their appearance, but she started it. It may not make her stop, but it'll make you feel better. If you decide to go the insult route I'm sure the lot of us could combine for some exceptional insults.

mymanicuredmama · March 2015

Clearly this co-worker is miserable and must have some really bad insecurity issues to make fun of a pregnant woman for eating. Doesn't everyone eat?!?!? I totally can relate to people being rude because during and after my last pregnancy with my son people made lots of comments about my weight! Mean comments. However, when I lost the weight everyone was very quiet (but they were still miserable inside). Don't let someone bring you down. You don't have the problem...it's her! So sorry this has even happened to you, especially at work!!!

Want a personalized experience?

Help! Being called fat and asking why Iam eating at work

Re: Help! Being called fat and asking why Iam eating at work

Choose Another Board

Search Boards