TTC after 35

Crying in Target

So, I'm 34. Married 11 Months and Ttc #1 for seven months. I was so naive that I thought it would happen right away. I'm healthy, I chart, I pee on opk sticks at the right time, etc. Anyway, today af showed again. Awesome start to the day. Later, I was walking through Target (my happy place lol) and praying. I'm weird like that. Anyway, the sweetest little girl in her mother's cart was singing "let it go" at the top of her lungs and I burst into tears like a freak. How do you all deal with this every damn month? How do you keep hopeful and stop feeling bitter? My husband is amazing but I don't want to talk to my girlfriends. They all have kids and are so flip about it. Ugh. Yucky day.
I am 35 to DH for almost two years. Actively ttc #1 since October 2014. Charting, Clomid, HCH shots, Timed Intercourse.
DH SA looks great, my numbers look great... trying B6, Zinc, Vitamin C, you name it. Avid reader of TCOYF, FF junkie. Trying to keep the faith once cycle at a time.

Re: Crying in Target

  • Sorry hun.  Some months are like that. Try to keep your head up.  I'm in a very similar boat and sometimes I just don't get it. Why isn't it happening?  It is one of those things that feels beyond my grasp.  Hopefully next month will be better.
    TTC #1
    me- 37, DH- 38
    Married 6.28.14, started TTC right away
    BFP Nov 2015, PPROM Feb 2016
    ER #1 May 2017, 15 retrieved, 10 fertilized, 3 day 5.
    ER#2 July 2017, 22 retrieved, 13 fertilized, 6 day 5/6
    9 embryos tested for pgs and pgd.  
    FET #1 9.29.17- 1 embryo-BFN
    FET#2 12.19.17- I embryo-BFP 1/1/18! Happy New Year to me! EDD 9/6/18
    Baby boy born 9.11.18- the love of my life!

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  • I'm so sorry. Some days are so much harder than others. I hope your day tomorrow isn't so yucky. And maybe you can do something that makes you feel happy and makes you smile. Even if it's something really small, sometimes that helps me on the tough days.
  • I'm sorry AF is here. :( I get worked up too. And it's definitely harder with hormones doing their thing. Most of my friends don't get it either that's why I'm on here often. I feel better about it trying to encourage others, typing it out, reading information. It sucks out a lot of my TTC angst.
  • I feel your pain. I too feel like I'm really healthy and have been overwhelmed as to why it's taking so long to happen. Hang in there and feel free to vent to us - it's a real understanding group of women here.
    ME: 36 (PCOS), DH: excellent SA
    NTNP since 11/12, actively trying since 8/14
    m/c @ 7w (4/22/14), m/c @ 6w (11/19/14)
    11/15: Letrozole, Ovidrel, TI = BFP!!!
    Beta #1(14dpo)=349, Beta #2(18dpo)=2,805
    12/17/15: Got to see the heartbeat (105bpm)!
    1/25/16: NT scan = normal (HB=163bpm)
    EDD: 8/10/16 
    8/8/16: Baby boy born @ 12:25am, 8lbs, 20.5 inches
    5/18/17: BFP!!! (11dpo)
    Beta #1(12dpo)=176.4, Beta #2(15dpo)=607.1
  • Have you talked to your dr about getting any testing done to see if there is a reason you aren't getting pregnant? I know a lot of people who wish they hadn't waited so long. There may be a simple answer.

    I'm sorry it's so hard. I had a lot of difficulties after each of my losses. I think what kept me going was sheer stubbornness and a refusal to give up. I wanted it so badly and I just couldn't accept thinking I would never be a mother.

    You still have time, don't give up!
    Me:41, DH:41 Positive for MTHFR mutations- one copy C677T, one copy A1298C. One daughter born on Thanksgiving in 2013. Six losses.
  • Betty965Betty965 member
    edited March 2015
    Thank you all for your kind words. I plan to go see the doc in a month or so.
    I am 35 to DH for almost two years. Actively ttc #1 since October 2014. Charting, Clomid, HCH shots, Timed Intercourse.
    DH SA looks great, my numbers look great... trying B6, Zinc, Vitamin C, you name it. Avid reader of TCOYF, FF junkie. Trying to keep the faith once cycle at a time.
  • @Betty965 I know on some sites the term baby dust is used, but here it is not. We have a lot of loss moms who have had to cremate their little ones so the term is quite hurtful to them.

    With that said I just want to say sorry you are having a rough time. Although I do have 2 children they are very far apart in age because I do not get pregnant easily. So I know the frustration of ttc.
    Hugs to you

      Me:39, DH:40

    DD born 8/96, DS born 8/04

    TTC#3

    NTNP since 2006, active trying 1/13

    Natural M/C 3/13 at 7 weeks

    CP 2/14

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

             imageimage

    All welcome

  • @Betty965, I'm sorry you're having such a rough time.  Trying to get pregnant without success month after month just sucks.  No other way to say it.  I get through by allowing myself a day (okay, three days last cycle) to just cry when I need to and get it all out.  And yep, I've cried at Target, at work, in my car A LOT!  By the time I start my meds for the next cycle, I just have to let it go and move on.  Some months are easier than others.  

    I'm going to say this and I'm sure you've heard it before.  It can take a healthy couple under 35 up to a year to get pregnant.  It doesn't make you feel better when you expect it to happen right away (I was there when TTC my first), but you ARE within normal range.  All of that being said, I don't think it's crazy to schedule an appointment with your OBGYN and ask for some basic lab testing, just to check hormones and such.  I agree with @Guennie, there are too many people on these boards that delayed and regretted it.  If all that testing is normal, continue charting and doing everything right (which you are) and ask to be referred to a RE at the one year mark.  It's very tempting to take fertility meds offered by your OBGYN (almost all will offer Clomid or Letrozole), but please leave that in the hands of the professionals (REs).    
    *** Child & current pregnancy mentioned ***
    Me - 41 (PCOS), Hubby - 43 (healthy)
    7/2013 - Sweet baby girl born (Clomid + TI)
    3/2014 - TTC #2, return to RE 7/2014
    12/2015: IVF #1 transferred two great looking embryos - BFP!
    First ultrasound: TWO beautiful little heartbeats!!
    Harmony: negative; level 2: babies look great and are boy/girl! :) 
  • I am so sorry you are having a yucky day!  There will be days like this and it just sucks. The thing to remember is it is ok to be sad during this time.  This is a difficult and emotional journey.   The best thing to do is have a good cry and talk through it with either a friend or on here.   
    Me - 35   Hubby - 38 
    Married 10/2007 
    Baby girl - 2/6/16 




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