Anyone helping with your own shower?

ihartbb · March 2015

I've been asked basically to help financially and physically w my baby shower. I had my son four years ago and basically just showed up when and where they told me to. I'm trying to save for a baby, not spend money on my own shower and im throwing one for a friend next month. Is it normal to help plan, prepare food and contribute financially?

KonaCoffeeBean · March 2015

I don't believe it's normal/appropriate to be majorly involved in planning your own shower. I also don't believe it's normal/appropriate to have a shower for second child. Is it too late to politely decline the shower? That's what I would do.

HoosOnFirst · March 2015

I am not sure, but it seems like showers for second children are rare, so perhaps that is why the host is asking? Is it possible to decline the shower at this point, and/or do something smaller or low-key?

I will say that I've been asked to help a bit, mostly with guest list and weighing in on food and venue options. But nothing financidl, that's sounds a bit crazy.

ihartbb · March 2015

Invitations have been sent out, otherwise I would absolutely politely decline. When she told me she wanted to throw a shower I said it would be fine just laid back w couples and their kids more like a family backyard get together with corn hole and a bonfire with smores for the kids something casual and easy. It's turned into sometbing a little bit bigger with just couples no kids, it's at 6 on a Saturday so will need to provide heavy hor duerves, and I've been asked to buy the wine to make a sangria, and I didn't plan to be to heavily involved either. It's too far gone now DH says I'm stressing over nothing and it seems like they're just asking for a little help w the money, no big deal. So maybe I'm hormonal! Who knows.

starr_407 · March 2015

In your situation where as she offered, I'd say no. You shouldn't have to help. I had a friend who asked me to do hers though and I don't really have the money or time but am doing it anyway because she asked

queequeg09256 · March 2015

I'm doing the favors for my shower and mailed out the invites but my sis bought a lot of stuff and she is cohosting. I'm just excited to have a party! Even if I can't drink.

CateOfChicago · March 2015

KonaCoffeeBean said:
I don't believe it's normal/appropriate to be majorly involved in planning your own shower. I also don't believe it's normal/appropriate to have a shower for second child. Is it too late to politely decline the shower? That's what I would do.

All this.

Sammadden27 · March 2015

I know my mom will be paying for everything. But, my husband and I are both chefs. He does savory and I do pastry, so I know we will be involved in the food. I plan on making the favors too. This is my first baby also.
I do think it's odd even having a shower for your second baby, so maybe that's why someone asked you to contribute. I know you're trying to save, but think of how much you'll save not having to buy all the things that people give you at this shower.

dkleid · March 2015

While my sister has offered to host my shower I recently found out that my mom is paying for everything and will be doing most of everything. My sister also hosted my bridal shower and I was required to show up early to help set up and to stay and make sure everything is cleaned up. I can see this happening again.

NotISaidtheCat · March 2015

ihartbb said:
Invitations have been sent out, otherwise I would absolutely politely decline. When she told me she wanted to throw a shower I said it would be fine just laid back w couples and their kids more like a family backyard get together with corn hole and a bonfire with smores for the kids something casual and easy. It's turned into sometbing a little bit bigger with just couples no kids, it's at 6 on a Saturday so will need to provide heavy hor duerves, and I've been asked to buy the wine to make a sangria, and I didn't plan to be to heavily involved either. It's too far gone now DH says I'm stressing over nothing and it seems like they're just asking for a little help w the money, no big deal. So maybe I'm hormonal! Who knows.

Asking you to buy wine for Sangria you can't even enjoy? Hah! I'd say remind her that you wanted something laid back and casual, offer to bring a couple bottles of sprite and the s'mores supplies, and let her know if she wants anything heavier-duty than that it's up to her. She's the one who offered to throw the shower - frankly, it's very rude of her to expect you to make it what she wants.

HomeLiveLove · March 2015

I am helping a little with my own baby shower. I'm a FTM. I don't want to make everyone do everything so I'm dealing with the invites/rsvps. As far as everything else goes, food, etc I've given up control of!

saraelizabeth33 · March 2015

Also, depends where you are with having a shower for a second child. They are pretty common where I am.

RandAllie1823 · March 2015

I'm the crafty one of my friends and I have worked planning events for 10+ years, so when my friend asked to host my shower I said sure, but she wants my input on everything - which is completely fair considering that she has two boys under 2 and her thesis to write. But so far invitations were me and my pinterest board is chok-a-block full... Since the friend lives in two hours away and the shower is early in the morning, I think I (as well as family) will be doing day of setup too...

If invitations have already gone out can you transform it into something youre comfortable paying for and throwing? You want the cornhole and hotdogs in the yard, why not hand out smore kits as favors (keep it cheap!) and tell people you appreciate them coming and giving you "S'More love for baby #2"

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