2 baby showers?

mandris913 · March 2015

Ok so I am due june 16th and my SO's mom is throwing me a baby shower in April. My mother on the other hand hasn't mentioned anything about throwing me a babyshower. I've brought it up multiple times to her and she completely avoids saying anything about throwing me a shower. Am I being selfish for wanting my mom to throw me one as well? I would be hurt is she didn't. I feel like just asking her if she is or not but then again don't want to have to ask for her to throw me one.

MrsRucinski85 · March 2015

Oh my lanta!

To answer your question simply yes.
There are no rules stating that your mom or anyone has to throw you a shower. You should just be thankful that anyone offered at all and not expect it.

ETA the rest of my post that my phone ate

KonaCoffeeBean · March 2015

Your mother has no obligation to host a shower for you. I think it would be rude for you to ask if she is going to host one. If she wants to offer you a shower, she'll of course let you know (or not, could be a surprise).

mvargas12 · March 2015

Is your mom going to the baby shower your MIL is throwing? If so, maybe that's why she isn't offering to throw one.

HoosOnFirst · March 2015

Yes, could you explain why you might need or want two showers?

dancingram · March 2015

My mother is not throwing me one, and I don't expect her to. Maybe it's a regional thing, but usually where I live, a close friend or cousin/aunt throw the baby showers, not mothers or MIL.

KaLikeAWind · March 2015

It could be that she is going to the one your MIL is throwing, and doesn't see the point in another one. I'm with other PP's, be glad you are getting a shower at all. Some people (me) don't get one at all so it seems excessive when people want two of them so much they are considering asking for an extra one. I hope that she is planning to surprise you and you get the one you want from her, but I wouldn't ask her for one specifically.

ElRuby · March 2015

I would assume that your MIL would be including your family as well and having two showers would be absurd... If my logic is wrong please let me know what I am missing!

mandris913 · March 2015

Thanks I am not asking her for one. I was just a lil hurt because even before my mil was going to throw me one my mom had no interest in the baby or baby shower at all. She also isn't attending my mil baby shower. I guess with my family it is different because we do have 2 baby showers for everyone. One for the fathers side and one for the mothers. I don't need two baby showers of course I just want my mom to be more enthusiastic about the baby. Thanks for all your help

HoosOnFirst · March 2015

Super helpful context. I'm sorry your mom is not showing much enthusiasm. Does she have any other grandchildren? How has she acted when they were born?

aliciac2008 · March 2015

Some people consider it rude for the mother to host the shower, so maybe that's why she doesn't want to throw you one. My mom is throwing me one, but only because I don't have any aunts, uncles, or cousins (both parents are only children) and I think she thinks she will never get to host one if she doesn't have one for me. I know this isn't the norm though.

KaLikeAWind · March 2015

Ah, that sucks then OP. I'm sorry your mom is not showing much interest in your pregnancy. And I would also wonder why she isn't throwing a family one for you if it is the habit in your family to throw two for everybody else. That would hurt my feelings a lot if it seemed like everyone else in the family was more important than me. I'd probably compromise and tell her you're really bummed that she doesn't seem to be very interested in a shower like has been done previously for all the rest of your fam, but it would really mean a lot to you if she would at least attend your MILs event.