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May 2015 Moms
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Who's your emergency labor backup / help? (for those who live long distance from family members)

PutMeintheZooPutMeintheZoo member
in May 2015 Moms
Those of you who live long distances from your family members, who are your backup or on-call people to help if you go into labor?  Do you have a neighbor, co-worker, friend, or a mix of all above?

My husband and I live a 5-hour drive from his family and a 12-hour drive from my family. We're starting to worry about who we'll need to have lined up for backup / help when I go into labor - especially who will watch our 3-year-old son if we need to make a sudden trip to the hospital (my water broken suddenly with DS).  It's tough knowing that we will need to burden a neighbor or a baby-sitter for a while until a family member can arrive - especially if it's in the middle of the night.  Would love to see if any second timers + have any wisdom or success stories on what you did... 




Baby girl born on May 15, 2015!  (DS born 2011)
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Re: Who's your emergency labor backup / help? (for those who live long distance from family members)

  • beasegbeaseg member
    I have a very similar problem! We actually don't even have a neighbor we'd leave our 2 year old daughter with. One works nights and is hardly home, the other is bipolar but went off his meds bc he's an alcoholic and it was too much, so he chooses booze over meds. So yeah :/ 

    Because of all this, we plan to bring her to the hospital with us when I deliver, and keep her in the room unless she gets uncomfortable. We also hired a doula to help out so my husband can go between caring for/supporting me and our daughter. But if I were to need an emergency C-Section- we couldnt' leave her with the doula. We don't know her well, and we think our daughter would be scared/uncomfortable. So now we're kinda stuck like, does that mean if I need an emergency c section my husband will miss his son's birth??

    We really don't know what to do. Also, my water broke suddenly too- so if that happens while he's at work, I'm still unsure how I'll get to the hospital (likely an ambulance? but they take you to the nearest one, which isn't the one that my doctor goes to nor is it in network)- and some ambulances won't let you bring your kid, they'll call social services to watch her- which I DEFINITELY don't want that. So I'm kinda freaked out too. 

    Hopefully other ladies have more help!?
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  • lola2beelola2bee member
    Not sure if either of you have kids at daycare or school but If so maybe one of the other moms can help. My son is going to his best friends house while I'm in the hospital. He would be pretty scared to see me at the hospital like that and also I believe the hospital does not allow children under 16.

    Also since there is still time maybe you could find a local babysitter beforehand!
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  • canadianmom89canadianmom89 member
    I'm pretty lucky that my parents are just 10 mins down the road but they will be away on a business trip when I'm 37 weeks so if by chance I go early my moms best friend will be around to take her place if need be but im really hoping my mom will be back
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  • Mari621Mari621 member
    We are in the same boat! I asked our nanny to leave an overnight bag here just in case. My plan is for her to come over and then call my parents who are 4 hrs away to watch my son. My only problem is if she is working for the other family on the days in off it might be a little tough. I might just have to wait till my husband comes home and take a cab by myself to the hospital. The other option is to leave him with a neighbor til my parents get here
    Pregnancy Ticker
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  • AshSturgisAshSturgis member
    beaseg said:

    I have a very similar problem! We actually don't even have a neighbor we'd leave our 2 year old daughter with. One works nights and is hardly home, the other is bipolar but went off his meds bc he's an alcoholic and it was too much, so he chooses booze over meds. So yeah :/ 


    Because of all this, we plan to bring her to the hospital with us when I deliver, and keep her in the room unless she gets uncomfortable. We also hired a doula to help out so my husband can go between caring for/supporting me and our daughter. But if I were to need an emergency C-Section- we couldnt' leave her with the doula. We don't know her well, and we think our daughter would be scared/uncomfortable. So now we're kinda stuck like, does that mean if I need an emergency c section my husband will miss his son's birth??

    We really don't know what to do. Also, my water broke suddenly too- so if that happens while he's at work, I'm still unsure how I'll get to the hospital (likely an ambulance? but they take you to the nearest one, which isn't the one that my doctor goes to nor is it in network)- and some ambulances won't let you bring your kid, they'll call social services to watch her- which I DEFINITELY don't want that. So I'm kinda freaked out too. 

    Hopefully other ladies have more help!?
    FYI we took our birthing class this weekend and for an emergency c-section your husband would not be allowed anyway. This could just be our hospital but I doubt it. Emergency means they need you in the OR with baby out in like 10 mins or less so they don't have time to get dad scrubbed in and give instructions. Now if you decide to do a C-section due to labor not progressing or what have you, that's a different story so care for your LO would need to be figured out. Just thought I would let you know!
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  • nicolemummyof2nicolemummyof2 member
    Some places have 24 hour daycares. Maybe you can start him or her in it.

    My daughter.is 4.
    My hubby s mom lives near us but I feel.bad asking her to watch her. Her step daughter is also pregnant and her step sons wife just had her third. And everyone always ask her to watch their kids.... it sucks.because all of their family lives.down here. And my mom lives 2 hours away =(
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  • beasegbeaseg member
    @AshSturgis - thank you!!! I didn't know that. Oddly, it's a little comforting!
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