Difficult pregnancy?

maytenth15 · March 2015

Hi all! Just wanted to share a bit of my story with you all because I've felt pretty alone and misunderstood throughout my whole pregnancy and I'm hoping some of you have had similar experiences as I have so that I don't feel alone anymore. I am 30 weeks and 3 days now. From the beginning my pregnancy wasn't easy. I was extremely hormonal, had morning sickness for the first 16/18 weeks, and was very tired. I developed food aversions and I still have them. Right away my job as a one year old teacher became unbearably difficult. Around 18/20 weeks I began to experience terrible pain in my hips and lower back. So bad that I had to be prescribed pain meds for a very brief period of time. Shortly after that, I started to become depressed. My boyfriend worked night shifts throughout my whole pregnancy and my job was very demanding. I was working 9/10 hour days without breaks and coming home to all the housework to do and waking up my boyfriend late at night so he could go to work. I quit my job 3 weeks ago and I was so hopeful that things would be a lot better. Just 4 days after quitting, we went to the ER because of frequent painful contractions and I was diagnosed with an irritable uterus. Any time I engage in activity, it brings on contractions. I had braxton hicks since 18 weeks, but these are a lot different. They're more like real contractions and are brought on by activity. My fatigue has come back terribly and my baby has been head down very low in my pelvis for about a week and a half now which causes a lot of pain and pressure in my lower back, abdomen and vagina. I need naps almost daily and my hip pain has come back again and it wakes me up often in the night. I feel like I'm so tired that I have no desire to do anything and when I do try to get things done, I end up battling the contractions. I feel like I'm in a fog. My family doesn't understand at all. They all can't wait for my pregnancy to be over because they say that it stresses them out and that all my symptoms aren't normal and that they hope I don't have anymore kids. They tell me that I'm just napping because I'm bored. All I hear when I share my pregnancy experiences with them is that they didn't experience anything like that and that my pregnancy isn't normal and then they tell each other how crazy I am behind my back. They tell me that they don't like the person I've become since I've gotten pregnant and that they've even contemplated not talking to me until my pregnancy is over because I am always sleeping and don't seem like myself. It's so depressing and heartbreaking to hear these things and I just want to be understood and supported. They think my pregnancy is hard on them and they don't even stop to think about how it must make me feel. I feel sad and alone. I've stopped sharing how I've felt and what I've been going through with them a while ago because I don't want their criticism. My boyfriend has been extremely supportive and tries to help out in anyway that he can, but there's only so much that he can do to support me. Anyone also have a difficult pregnancy and feel misunderstood?

leelee72 · March 2015

I am.not in this situation but I feel for you. Please don't let other people's negative words stress u out. Everyone's pregnancy is different and you do what you can for yourself and your child. You are in the home stretch and before you know it you'll be holding your precious baby!!

ldmw · March 2015

I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through. Hang in there, the end is in sight. All you need to focus on is you and the baby. Everytime I feel alone, I remember I'm with my baby. And while my baby can't provide emotional support, it's a good distraction for me when I'm feeling lonely. Try to ignore the negativity from others and do (and don't do) what's best for you.

christmasstree · March 2015

I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. Do they not understand that pregnancy I'd different for every woman? Screw them and what they have to say. You have your bf and soon the baby will be here. Family should be supportive and not bad mouthing you. I hope things get better for you. Hopefully you have friends too. Good luck

xxyourstrulyxo · March 2015

Allow me to jump in and say you're definitely not alone in how you're feeling! I too feel like I've had an extremely out of the norm pregnancy with all sorts of hurdles and obstacles to overcome. I do not have any friends I can talk to, nobody at all except my DH and venting to him is about as pointless and productive as venting to a wall.

Get ready for a long rambly post...

Let's see. To start out I'm type 1 diabetic so that already puts me with a high risk pregnancy. When I got pregnant my blood sugar levels were not always the best, and it was a while before I finally got in "the swing of things" and was able to balance them out to where they needed to be. Every doctor I saw did not give the typical "congratulations" most women normally hear when they become pregnant, I was only told of all of the absolutely awful things that could happen to me and my baby if I did not take care of my diabetes. As if I wasn't trying!!! I get that the doctors were doing their job in letting me know what "could" happen but it was quite heartbreaking and dehumanizing to hear only what a failure I could be. Finally I found a maternal fetal doctor I work with now that has a bit more relaxed outlook, but it was and still is a struggle I will always face with doctors. So moving right along, I was constantly worried about miscarrying and birth defects the entire first trimester before they were able to really get a good look at her with a fetal echo and anatomy scans around 20 weeks. (I still constantly worry about a stillbirth, but that's normal I guess.) Still every time people ask me about my pregnancy, it's "how's the diabetes going? your sugar levels going good?" and it's just annoying I guess. I'd love for people to inquire about my pregnancy in a fun, worry-free happy light like most normal people get to talk about theirs. I'd just like for everyone to focus on baby, rather than my damn diabetes. It has a way of stealing the spotlight I guess.

Well I'm getting off track. Back to trimester 2 and one day at work I'm hit all of a sudden with excruciating abdominal pain. I really thought I was miscarrying. Well very fortunately I was not, but what was acting up? None other than my appendix. Ah yes that tiny little pointless organ decided to have its moment in the sun while I'm just entering the second trimester of my pregnancy.

DH rushed me to the hospital and I was in agonizing pain for over 12 hours before they finally did an emergency surgery to take out my appendix. It took doctors forever to figure out what it was and they had to draw my blood a ridiculous amount of times and I even had to have an MRI too because nothing was showing up in my bloodwork that screamed what the problem was. Finally they say it's my appendix and I had to have surgery and be put under with my poor little baby inside me!! I didn't even know they could do surgery while pregnant. Hard to imagine!!! Well anyways the surgery itself went well, but the recovery was AWFUL!!!! I was in pain for over a MONTH after the surgery. Yep, right on schedule with the holidays. They couldn't prescribe me much for pain and it was weeks before I was even able to move or bend in any way that didn't leave me in tears. Despite the fact I couldn't keep food down, 3 days after the surgery I get sent home from the hospital and was still throwing up constantly from all of the pain. I couldn't keep anything down. Next day? Couldn't maintain my blood sugars worth anything, got dehydrated and started passing ketones so had to be rushed back to the hospital via ambulance. That led to another couple of days in the hospital. I really thought I was about to lose my mind when I could finally keep food down and they sent me home again for a second time. I hate hospitals.

So after that fun excursion, it took over a month to finally be free from pain from the surgery. Thanksgiving the pain was terrible and I spent the holiday sad and crying at my parents house thinking I was going to miscarry because the pain from the surgery was in my abdomen, and I never knew if it was pain from the surgery or if a miscarriage was going to happen. I was finally almost back to normal around Christmas, after missing the whole holiday season entirely being cooped up in the house unable to participate in anything outside the house. By far the worst holiday season I've ever had, when really it should have been a very happy one expecting my first baby and all.

January was good. Most of February was good. I started having some back pain and chalked it up to being a normal part of pregnancy. It went on for a few weeks before one day it got so bad it would stop me in my tracks. It would come in waves that lasted 40 minutes or more and finally let up for a few minutes for me to catch my breath, only to return again. The pain was so awful and so intense, I honestly did not even know pain could be so bad in such a spot. I was home alone when this started happening and DH was at work so I had to call my mom to rush me to the hospital. Here we go again! I started throwing up from pain and thought maybe I was going into PTL and having back labor. I was in SOOOOO much pain but the hospital couldn't even give me any medication until after hours of testing to rule things out. Seriously even to me it sounds ridiculous, back pain "that" bad, yeah okay, but really it was. I could have never imagined. Anyways, they ruled out preterm labor and I was finally given morphine and that didn't even do anything. More morphine, nothing. Finally they try something else but that didn't even do the trick. Nothing masked it. I had to have a CT scan, bloodwork, the whole works done and doctors still couldn't find anything. Clinically they thought maybe I had a kidney stone but nothing showed up. Doctors literally never figured out what was wrong with my back. The chalked it up to being muscular spasms, and after another 2 days of excruciating pain in the hospital I was sent home with muscle relaxers that barely worked. I'm carrying all of my pregnancy weight entirely in the front of my belly, so maybe that's it? idk. To me back pain doesn't even sound like a real thing but I sure do know it is now so I can relate with you!!

So now after all that I'm just dealing with normal / regular back aches each night if I sit up straight for too long or walk around too much. They are awful and interfere with daily life but I'll take it for now!!! I'm better from the surgery and for that I am very grateful. I am so happy that my baby has made it through all that my body has thrown at her so far and that I didn't lose her along the way somehow. I'm certainly not happy about all the drugs and medical tests she's had to be exposed to but she's showing up perfect on all her scans by some miracle and she gives me a reason to smile through all the pain and struggle.

Just know that you're definitely not alone!!! lol... sorry for the long post! Feels good to get that out.

catrudkin · March 2015

I understand completely. I have had a difficult pregnancy as well, it's been rough from the very start. In the beginning it was hard because I was so emotional and sick, and it was not planned - I had just recently had our little girl. She'll be 18 months old when it's time for the newest LO. Now I'm 27 weeks and having so many health issues. I'm on bedrest and my DH just doesn't understand... Honestly, he has been a selfish asshole. I don't have any family to turn to at all. I'm feeling the loneliest I have ever felt. It is hard to deal with at times.

klaG101 · March 2015

Your not alone! Your not weird I promise! I'm so sorry you have to deal with friends and family like that, good for them they had an easy pregnancy it's not cool to throw it in your face because you are having a rough time. Here on the bump you will find plenty of support and other momma's that have been down too.

I really think you should mention to your doctor how your feeling. Sounds like you have every reason to be feeling depressed but sometimes an intervention is needed.

Sending best wishes to you! And don't be scared to tell your family and friends who can't be there to support you now to shove it where the sun don't shine!!!

sassymama15 · March 2015

Your symptoms are pretty much exactly what I have with every pregnancy. They are all normal in pregnancy and everyone deals with the changes differently. So your family doesn't understand well they don't have to understand they should however be as supportive as possible.

Swan22job445 · March 2015

My family was horrible to me during my first pregnancy as well. Once the baby was born they were a little better. Now that I am on my second, they are still involved in my life, but acknowledging their lack of support led me to decide that I would build a support network of friends & lean on my husbands family a little more. Love yourself & your growing family & know you have the strength to make your life the best it can be. --Big hugs to you!!

realestatebaby · March 2015

I'm sorry you're going through that my pregnancy is difficult also I'm not sure like that though. I found out I was pregnant at 3 weeks because I was having bad cramps and passed out. I was rushed to the ER they did a blood test that's when I found out I was pregnant. I had the worst cramps ever I went to the ER at least 3 times in first 7 weeks. I went to two different doctors.The first one told me I was having a tubal pregnancy and I had to take some shot the next day so the baby wouldn't bust my tubes. I wanted a second opinion so I went to another doctor that told me I wasn't having a tubal pregnancy I just needed to wait a week and if they still didn't see the baby then I would take the shot. The best thing I've ever done was wait because the first doctor was wrong my baby was okay just not big enough to be seen yet. I've had nausea my whole pregnancy 5 times a day up until I was 5 months. They tried 6 different nausea medications and nothing worked for me. Finally they tried the medicine you put on your wrist and that works for me but it only took away some of the nausea. I still throw up twice a day. I haven't taken prenatal vitamins or any type of pill because they make me puke. It doesn't matter what kind of pill it is I throw up. I started out at 121 pounds and puked so much I couldn't eat so then I went to 103. They thought at that point I was going to have to be hospitalized my whole pregnancy. Because I was in and out of the hospital so much since I've been pregnant. I've been to the ER at least 6 times and had to stay in the hospital 4 times. The worst thing is I have such bad cramps the only thing I can do is take a suppository which is not fun at all. My baby is healthy and everything is fine but the pain I have to go through on a daily basis is horrible. My mom has 7 kids she told me this is just not normal pregnancy everyone has told me that. My doctor also told me he hasn't seen anything like this before. I have the normal back pain, I stand for 10 mins and my feet are swollen. I have the worst heartburn that I can't even sleep through the night I'm always up and never get rest. I also started experiencing panic attacks about 2 months ago I have them at least twice a week since I been pregnant. I cramp every other day it's so bad I lay on the floor crying usually the suppository helps with that but if it doesn't I have to go to the hospital. My doctor tested everything he could twice he said the cramping is because I was so small the baby is stretching me out and I can feel every little thing going on inside of me. But my family is supporting me they haven't pushed me away they get tired of me but they are more worried then anything... I hope my experience helped you a little bit. I also pray everything gets better for you.

danibii · March 2015

Just want you to know that you're not alone! There's no such thing as a "normal" pregnancy or a "normal" way to feel - just do the best you can and rely on the people who are supportive, like your bf and this group

nicolemummyof2 · March 2015

IM sorry to hear that. Some people think they know everything about pregnancy . And if they didn't experience it they God forbid you say you did.

With my first baby, who is now 4, I threw up everyday all day. It was the most horrible 9 months of my life. I would tell my grandmother "I wish I would just die". Because I would be so dehydrated I could barely get up. I was hospitalized most of the time. My grandmother was also.sick with her first. But my cousins would always talk behind my back and said I was faking and just being dramatic. Which was bull shit. Don't you think if I could eat I would. How is it that I'm being dramatic and throwing up so much my blood vessels in my throat pop. Yea you would cry too if a nurse I'd trying to start a IV and has stuck you 10 Times. ( I have old people veins) . And YOU would cry to if they are.trying to draw blood from the top of your foot!!!!!

So I know what you mean. And I hope everything gets better for you hun because you don't deserve to be treated that way.

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