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I just need to talk this out with some strangers....

TNChickTNChick member
in Babies on the Brain
I have two fabulous children, ages 4 and 2.5. In the last few months, I transitioned from staying at home to working as a school counselor. I wasn't necessarily ready to go back to work, but the perfect opportunity presented itself, and I took the job. I do enjoy my job, but I make little to no money after I pay for daycare. My husband makes a very significant salary that is more than sufficient for our family. I work only for personal fulfillment. I have always seen myself as a mom of 3, and I can't seem to stop thinking about having one more. However, I do not like the idea of putting a baby or a young toddler in daycare (I don't judge those who do, but it is not for me). I could quit my job to have another, but I would be giving up the perfect position. Or, I could never have a third, but I am afraid I would forever regret it. I feel stuck. What would you do? I could just take the time off and hope to find another job whenever I felt ready, but I feel like that is a risky gamble. I should also add that I could time my next baby to be due in August and take a year leave. Then I would have the summer break and the baby would be 15 months when he/she went to daycare. There are two cons to that: I still think that is fairly young for daycare. Also, I am guaranteed a job after leave, but not necessarily the same job. The job I returned to could suck (bad principal, etc). I also apologize for formatting or spelling issues. I am horrible at typing on an iPad. Thanks in advance for allowing me to ramble!
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Re: I just need to talk this out with some strangers....

  • BigboobsmcgeeBigboobsmcgee member

    Hmmm, tough position to be in and ultimately, you just have to bite the bullet and make a decision.

    If you truly can time your next pregnancy so you have the baby in the month that you want to (seems far fetched but some people can do it), then I would do that and take a year of leave then HOPE you get this position again when you return. I think that is better than quitting all together.

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  • TNChickTNChick member
    Thanks for your thoughts. Timing a pregnancy is iffy I know. However, I have gotten pregnant on the first cycle 3 times (I had one loss), so it might be possible. I thought I could see what my placement would be after my leave before I quit entirely, but that is still giving up my current position (which is amazing). I feel very compelled in my heart to have another, but my rational brain thinks that it would be dumb to walk away from what I have.
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  • 4N6s4N6s member
    I'd have a kid. Daycare and a job are temporary, a kid is forever.
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  • 704bride704bride member
    I love the title of your post because that's how I've been feeling about a similar situation. Assuming you're a teacher, I'm a teacher, too. I hear what you're saying about not being guaranteed your exact position back. How would you feel about a different position? Can you talk to your principal to find out the likelihood of getting your position back? Of course, it wouldn't be a guarantee. If you decide not to have a baby because you don't want to lose your position, you will probably regret that someday. I have two (just about 7 and 3) and have always wanted 3, but DH isn't really interested in another, but is more concerned about finances than anything. Darn college costs! I would have to keep working and might not be able to take as long of a maternity as I did with my other two. I really, really worry about the regret I would feel if I don't have another, and feel like a part of me will always be missing.
    Baby Boy #1 born on 3/21/08 
    BFP 8/2/10 (3w5d); No more heartbeat on 8/30/10 (7w4d); D&C on 9/2/10 (8w) - Baby Boy with Triploidy
    BFP 12/3/10 (4w2d); Natural miscarriage 12/12/10 (5w4d) - Unknown cause
    Diagnosed with Compound Heterozygous MTHFR
    BFP 3/9/11; Baby Boy #2 born on 11/7/11
    Currently TTC Baby #3

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  • tiff16tiff16 member
    If you're husband is willing to try for another, then go for it! It sounds like you have some career plans/ideas. Just see how it all plays out!
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  • satuttle1014satuttle1014 member
    I can't fully say because I am not a mom yet. If you want a 3rd and your husband does too then go for it. You don't know until you try. If you get pregnant then you can figure it out. Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
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