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May 2015 Moms
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Man distance

georgiana12georgiana12 member
in May 2015 Moms
Is anyone else's man seem to be having a mid life crisis and being distant?
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Re: Man distance

  • beasegbeaseg member
    Mine is being distant. He just got a huge promotion at work, and I quit my job a year ago to stay home with our daughter. I feel like he treats me like his babysitter. He goes to fancy conferences and stays in hotels downtown Chicago (even though we live 25 minutes away, he won't come home for the night). He's in education, so not really like he has some super fancy businessman job. But I feel totally blown off. It makes things a lot worse that I'm no longer working because I'm bored and definitely feel a huge loss in my self worth. I feel like he now thinks he's smarter than me, better than me, etc. He's never said any of this. It could just be my emotions getting the better of me. But all day I'm home with a 2.5 year old, and he's supposed to be home at 4 but usually doesn't show up until 5:30. 2-3 times a day he doesn't get home til after 10. It just really sucks. Our marriage is really suffering, and it sucks. 
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  • marthaudanimarthaudani member
    My husband is the polar opposite. Maybe it's because we've been married only 2 weeks shy of a year.

    He always lets me know if he'll be home late for dinner. He still asks to go to the bar with his friends even though he knows he has a standing pass to go out. He tells me if he's going to buy something so i'm never surprised when he has new man toys.

    The day he stops doing these things is the day I start suspecting him of cheating. We have both been through way too much bs to have something like that happen between us.

    Definitely not distant or in a midlife crisis. Just the same happy sugarpie that I married.
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  • crsanchez87crsanchez87 member
    OP- My husband went through something similar, he just turned 33 but is a bit on the immature side. I love him dearly (obviously if I didnt we would not be married) but he did go through a little midlife crisis kind of situation and I am just starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. This is our first child and although we had always planned to have kids we thought we had about another year of just us time before we started TTC. I think he just got really overwhelmed with the thought of being a father and how our lives will change. So he started coming home super late from having drinks with the guys, being drunk and obnoxious, buying things we don't need etc. I started just trying to set up some dates that were fun things we could do together once the LO gets here. It seemed to help him realize that although things will be different they will be fun and exciting in a different way.

    Sorry about the novel! I just know how much its sucks to be in that position and start worrying that maybe your SO isn't going to be able to be the father you thought he could be.It gets better, hes just freaking out and will be back to the man you love soon.  
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  • cpage2211cpage2211 member
    I've been with my DH for 11 years. This is our third child together and he has felt like he's been at a distance lately too. I was taking offense to it but then I stepped back and tried to rationalize it...he has to be preparing for the baby in his own way and dealing with his own stuff attached to the pregnancy. It's not just us going through changes, they do too. I wasn't giving him enough credit until this dawned on me. Just food for thought :)
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  • georgiana12georgiana12 member
    I'm sorry to hear about that :(
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  • a316ba316b member
    DH went through something similar with our first. He was working 90 hours a week at the time, we had just moved, been married 1.5 years (but together for 8 years before that.)

    We ended up talking it out- We honestly shared our feelings and our relationship is better for it now. Our jobs are completely different and we were having trouble relating to one another (teacher vs. CPA).

    Now on baby 3, he only works about 70 hours a week, we are about to buy a house, but have much better communication methods and understandings and even expectations of each other. Perhaps we've matured in last 4 years? Our relationship definitely has.

    Try to be open, honest and respectful of his view of things - im sure it will sort itself out and life will be one crazy big happy hectic family before you know it! :)
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  • christmasstreechristmasstree member
    Omg yes. He just started being distant like a week ago. I know he's super stressed with work and money and he might be getting a promotion. And he doesn't seem to be able to talk to me. And seems to be avoiding me. It sucks and being pregnant just makes me more emotional.
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  • jasonsgirl94jasonsgirl94 member
    I have been sensing some distance too lately from my man - he is always consumed with reading up on his sports news and has found a renewed interest in Facebook. Talking to him is hard becuase he ignores me then when he realizes i said something and asks me to repeat it I refuse it always leads to a fight. He use to go to every appt with enthusiasm but now unless its the ultrasound he doesnt see any reason in going. He is in school and feels like he is overwhelmed. By I am working full time to support us and waddling around 8 mos pregnant! I just pray that things will change when the baby gets here.
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  • christmasstreechristmasstree member
    Good luck
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