TTC after 35

Reintro (long, child mentioned)

Hello ladies. I am rejoining this board for a short period of time as I feel it will help me get through the next few months. The wonderful members of this board helped me get through a really bad period when I was TTC in 2012/2013. I had a beautiful baby girl on Thanksgiving of 2013. I now want very badly to give her a sibling.

I've suffered a total of 6 losses. One was a twin pregnancy so I have 7 angel babies. I was not planning on trying again because we went through so much both TTC and with the pregnancy and birth of my daughter. But I got a surprise literally on Christmas Day and after getting over the initial shock I realized I was very happy and wanted this baby. I had an incomplete miscarriage at almost 7 weeks and had to have a D&C, my third D&C.

I would have thought I would say I was done, but I really would like to try one more time. My h doesn't feel the same.

I'm here because I am scheduled to see a neurologist in April to determine if a pressure I get in my head is a migraine. I'm holding off going back on birth control until that appointment so we know what to put me on. I will have my annual exam with my OB/GYN the end of May and we will decide at that time what to do. So until then I could possibly get pregnant since we don't use any other form of birth control. I was honest with my h about how I feel and told him I wouldn't be on birth control for a few months so he can be careful if he truly doesn't want to risk it. He said he was a thousand percent sure. But the last two times he slipped and the timing seems to be perfect, so now I'm pretty sure I'm starting the TWW and I can't help feeling hopeful.

I'm not sure what my h is thinking or feeling or why he slipped. I don't know if it means a part of him actually is open to the possibility or if he just doesn't think it's much of a risk right now. Or maybe he just isn't thinking. I don't want to try to talk about it because it might ruin my chances. My h is not a good communicator. So I'm just going with it and I guess we'll see what happens.

Anyway, I'm sorry for everyone else who has suffered losses and sorry you find yourself on this board. I think there are still some familiar names here, which just breaks my heart. But hello to those of you I recognize.

I tried to tell myself I wouldn't pay too much attention to my cycle or get crazy about it, but here I am temping and charting. I just have to know.

Thanks for making it through this very long intro. Best wishes to all.

Me:41, DH:41 Positive for MTHFR mutations- one copy C677T, one copy A1298C. One daughter born on Thanksgiving in 2013. Six losses.

Re: Reintro (long, child mentioned)

  • Welcome back @guennie!  I'm so very sorry for your losses.  Best of luck to you!
    *** Child & current pregnancy mentioned ***
    Me - 41 (PCOS), Hubby - 43 (healthy)
    7/2013 - Sweet baby girl born (Clomid + TI)
    3/2014 - TTC #2, return to RE 7/2014
    12/2015: IVF #1 transferred two great looking embryos - BFP!
    First ultrasound: TWO beautiful little heartbeats!!
    Harmony: negative; level 2: babies look great and are boy/girl! :) 
  • Loading the player...
  • Welcome back, I hope your stay is short and sweet!

    TTC #1 for 21 Months
    Husband: 41
    Me: 36
    3 failed IUIs
    changed REs
    1 failed IVF (chemical pregnancy)
    1 FET (single transfer) 2/28/15 ???
    12 5-day frozen embryos
  • edited March 2015
    Welcome back, love. We're here to support you. I still drop in here and there.

    ETA: I hope that you get some answers and a simple solution to the pressure.

    image

                 Visit The Nest!image Visit The Nest!

      "It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness." - Eleanor Roosevelt


                                                 image


  • I'm so sorry for your losses. My husband was really emotional and upset after our first MC and wanted to put off trying for awhile. Sometimes it's more emotional for men, I think it has something to do with them having no control or being so removed from it and that causes them a lot of anxiety. Either way, I hope things work out. Fingers crossed for you :-)
    ME: 36 (PCOS), DH: excellent SA
    NTNP since 11/12, actively trying since 8/14
    m/c @ 7w (4/22/14), m/c @ 6w (11/19/14)
    11/15: Letrozole, Ovidrel, TI = BFP!!!
    Beta #1(14dpo)=349, Beta #2(18dpo)=2,805
    12/17/15: Got to see the heartbeat (105bpm)!
    1/25/16: NT scan = normal (HB=163bpm)
    EDD: 8/10/16 
    8/8/16: Baby boy born @ 12:25am, 8lbs, 20.5 inches
    5/18/17: BFP!!! (11dpo)
    Beta #1(12dpo)=176.4, Beta #2(15dpo)=607.1
  • Im so sorry for your losses. Ive only suffered 1 loss and it was so difficult. Im in awe of your strength to keep going. 
    Im willing to bet your H just is not wanting to see you suffer again. 

    I wish you luck though and you will find a lot of support on this wonderful board!

    SIGGY WARNING
    Me 38   DH 34
    married 05-21-11 
    started TTC right away






    BFP- 10-16-14 EDD 6/13/15: MC 12-1-14 
  • Welcome back @guennie. I'm so sorry for your losses. Wishing you all the best with your upcoming appointments.
  • Welcome back. I found this board right as you graduated but I "know" you from my stalking the other boards.
    I'm so sorry for all your losses.
    My husband wanted to try for only a few months after our first loss. Well that was over a year and a half ago and he has not brought it up.
    He knows I'm not going to go on birth control and he is never careful. My kids are big (18 and 10) so I think he is anxious about starting over. Deep down I know he wants another.
    I'm glad you get to hang out with us. Hopefully you get to graduate again.

      Me:39, DH:40

    DD born 8/96, DS born 8/04

    TTC#3

    NTNP since 2006, active trying 1/13

    Natural M/C 3/13 at 7 weeks

    CP 2/14

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

             imageimage

    All welcome

  • Thank you so much for the warm welcome. @hooligans4 I know you too and I'm sorry to find you still here.

    @KirstenAlecia I really don't know how I'm finding the strength to want to give it one more try. While pregnant I thought if it didn't work out that would be it for me. I thought I would make darn sure I would never get pregnant again. But something changed. I think it changed when I saw the heartbeat. Now instead of wanting to do all I can to prevent, I want to hope for one more miracle. I know how difficult it could be, I know it could end with yet another loss, and yet I still want to try. Maybe that's messed up.

    My h said that he doesn't want to go through any more painful experiences and he is a thousand percent happy with our life. He thinks our luck lies with our daughter and we just need to focus on her. But it's for her I want to produce a sibling. As older parents I think it's important to make sure she will be ok. I worry about her going through everything alone as we are aging. I want her to always have someone.

    Anyway, I know the odds are against me so mostly I hope this board can help me get through the rollercoaster I know I'll be on for the next few months. Thank you for the support.
    Me:41, DH:41 Positive for MTHFR mutations- one copy C677T, one copy A1298C. One daughter born on Thanksgiving in 2013. Six losses.
  • Welcome back! Sorry for the losses you suffered. I wish you luck over the next several months.
    Me (42) w/ partner for 16+ years
    TTC #1: 11/2012 - 9/2013; 6/2014 - present
    Follistim + TI (3x): All BFNs
    Follistim + IUI (1x): BFN 
    IVF #1: 17 retrieved,15 fertilized, Day 3: 15, Day 5/6: 3 biopsied
    Result; 1 frozen blast (inconclusive PGS results)
    IVF #2; ER: 6/22 16 retrieved, 6/25: 5 transferred (CP), 2 frozen
    FET 9/17: BFN
    Current FET -- Transferred 2 day-3 embryos - BFN

  • *** child mentioned ***

    @Guennie, you sound just like me.  I try to explain to my husband (who's on board for another baby, but isn't as hell bent as I am - he'd be fine if we just have one), I don't want our daughter to be alone!  I was "like" an only child in that my half-sibs grew up more with their mother and were older than me so I grew up just me in the house and it was LONELY!  On the other hand, when my mom was diagnosed with cancer and subsequently passed away, I had my siblings and thank god for that.  I don't want my girl to deal with things like that alone, especially since we're older.  I completely understand where you're coming from.  Again, good luck!!!
    *** Child & current pregnancy mentioned ***
    Me - 41 (PCOS), Hubby - 43 (healthy)
    7/2013 - Sweet baby girl born (Clomid + TI)
    3/2014 - TTC #2, return to RE 7/2014
    12/2015: IVF #1 transferred two great looking embryos - BFP!
    First ultrasound: TWO beautiful little heartbeats!!
    Harmony: negative; level 2: babies look great and are boy/girl! :) 
  • welcome (back). I'm so sorry for your losses. I'm hoping for the best for you, good luck!
  • @emsmama15 I'm very sorry you lost your mom. My h also lost his mom to cancer a few months before we got married. I know it's been really hard for him not having her here with all we've been through, I'm sure you feel the same.

    I have a sister a year older. We were best of friends growing up. My h has a half sister a lot older. He loves her but I don't think it's quite the same. I don't think he realizes how lonely it could be.

    I know I can't make him feel the same way I do, I just have to accept that I have this small window and if it doesn't happen it isn't meant to be. I hope I can feel better about it in a few months if nothing happens.
    Me:41, DH:41 Positive for MTHFR mutations- one copy C677T, one copy A1298C. One daughter born on Thanksgiving in 2013. Six losses.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"