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May 2015 Moms
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How do you relax? Need tips/ideas/advice

beasegbeaseg member
in May 2015 Moms
I really need to relax. I'm a SAHM/Nanny with a 2.5 year old and I'm 31 weeks. DH just got a promotion effective July 1, but he's training for it now on top of his current FT job, plus he's in grad school for his masters. So he's never around. We're fighting a lot because I feel like I"m just his babysitter and I feel taken for granted. It's hard bc I used to work a corporate job and now my job is to change poopy diapers and listen to kids whine and get kicked in the cervix by my unborn baby all day. It's just a big adjustment- but mind you, I DID want this. I did choose to stay home. And I really do love it for the most part. I'm just in need of a break. We don't have many friends/family in the area, so we have left our daughter with a babysitter two times in the last 18 months. DH is VERY encouraging of me going out and having alone time, but it's hard bc I have to wait around for him to actually be home, but then on top of that- it's like, "Okay, now what?" Like, I get in my car on a Wednesday night at 8 when we have put our daughter down and I have a chance to go out- and where am I gonna go?? See a movie alone? 

Before I would read, I would work out, I would have a drink, I would go shopping, etc. But I don't read books now bc they all cause me to get too emotional and I am emotional enough as it is, I am on restrictions from working out, obviously don't drink, don't shop bc I'm pregnant and we're saving money. I just can't think of anything else? Like, what can I do to have some alone time/relax? 

I find my patience goes so quickly and I am consistently angry or frustrated, and my kids don't deserve that. And honestly, neither does my husband. Anyone have any ideas? I know a part of my struggle is that I no longer use my brain like I did when I worked in finance, but I don't want to look for part time work since baby is due soon and I don't know what I'll be able to/want to balance once he gets here. Just not sure. Sorry for the novel!
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Re: How do you relax? Need tips/ideas/advice

  • saric83saric83 member
    If I were in your situation, I would need to find other SAHMs to meet up with (with or without kiddos).  I know a lot of people who have had success using meetups, so maybe check those out for your area.  Or even check your local board on here.  My local one has a group who meets up for brunch every month, so that's a fun way to find new people who get what you're going through.

    And also, if you are up for it and need the mental stimulation, check out something like sparked (I think the site is easier to find if you search "Skills for Change by sparked"), which is an microvolunteer site where you can find quick and small projects aligned with your skill-sets and interests.  When I'm getting frustrated with work and need to feel like I'm contributing a bit more, I'll pick up a few things on there.
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  • beasegbeaseg member
    Wow, those are two great ideas. I've tossed around the idea of a meetup group for a while but I think it's time. 

    Thanks so much for the ideas!
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  • crsanchez87crsanchez87 member
    I agree with PP, mental stimulation can do a lot to relieve stress. I would suggest taking a class at your local community center. You will be able to meet other people there with similar interests as well. Or, depending on your skill set you can volunteer to tutor others in areas you excel. 
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  • icajesica82icajesica82 member
    If you can afford to get a massage I highly recommend.  I got a prenatal when I was pregnant with DD and it was awesome.  Going to go in a few weeks this time.  I agree with a meet up.  It would be really good for you to have other SAHM that you can meet up with and do play dates with so the kids get play time and you get adult time.  
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  • 13odesiama13odesiama member
    Have you tried prenatal yoga? 

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  • beasegbeaseg member
    I would LOVE to do the massage! I love love love massages. I've been trying to save money and have been telling myself not to get it, but I think it's time. I found a chiropractor's office that will do it for $60!

    And I have not done prenatal yoga classes. Again, partly money and partly schedule. DH usually gets home after 7pm and by that time I'm so exhausted. I could do some free online ones though. It's a good idea. I think movement would be good for me, especially since I'm on exercise restrictions. I obviously wouldn't do any of the challenging stuff. 

    I'm also signing up for my first meetup group today!! Fingers crossed it's something fun! 

    Thanks to all that replied, and for any future responses :)  
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  • sephora468sephora468 member
    Omg this is sooo me...I worked in corporate finance for close to 10 years. I chose to become a sahm with my 23 month old and now expecting another. My partner is on the road alot. So it's just me and my Lil girl.

    He has also encouraged me to get out but it's hard. I don't have a sitter. So this may sound bad but I love to watch a tv. Especially shows that make me laugh. When DD is sleeping or napping is when I try to watch a show.

    And if I'm getting stir crazy in the house. I grab my girl and we window shop
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  • beasegbeaseg member
    Yeah, it's so weird to go from the corporate world where you literally sign checks for millions, make huge important decisions, deal with adults (well, usually), and earn a respectable living to all of the sudden- I change 7 poopy diapers a day. hahahahaha. Now, to be honest- I think SAHM is an even more respectable living than any corporate job, but maybe that's just me saying that so I don't weep at 8am. hahaha. But yeah- it is hard. 

    I try to watch shows too but we don't have cable and I can only watch so many netflix re-runs! My daughter LOVES window shopping. I'm not good at it though! haha I keep buying stuff for dh and dd that WE DON'T NEED. Shame shame. 

    Anyways- thanks for the solidarity! haha nice to know I'm not the only one in the world :)
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  • lisalisanorgrenlisalisanorgren member
    I just read an article yesterday about how coloring is a great stress reliever and it's something you could do with your 2.5 yo.

    BabyFetus Ticker
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  • lola2beelola2bee member
    Ditto on the moms group idea - I'm in one and aside from all the pluses everyone mentioned we take turns babysitting which saves $$$ for nicer date nights. We also have a book club to discuss grown up non-poopy topics. ;-)
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  • marym94marym94 member
    I work but have a friend in a similar boat and she has started really planning out play dates at least 2-3 times a week so she can catch up with other adults.  I am stressed after and before work bc I feel very pregnant and hormonal and have a 2.5 year old who I want to give my attn to and work related stress -so similar but different! and i have been looking for stress relievers.. reading has helped me and I try to pick light books (nothing that will make me sad!) , curling up with tea, a few pieces of dk chocolate and a funny show or movie or a phone call to a friend a couple nights a week... sometimes I will take a couple of sips of my husbands wine if it is something i love and i am a huge advocate of massage! it is not easy -but hang in there and wishing you the best!
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