Getting a toddler out of your bed??

niknak1208 · March 2015

For the last couple of weeks, DD has been aggressively resisting her own bed. I usually rock her a bit. We sing or read books and then she'll ask to go to bed and I put her down. Even when this happens, ten minutes later she's screaming to get out. I've tried the whole cry it out bit but literally she will cry FOREVER!! Think she could be clingy because she knows the baby is coming? She never does this. Usually if she does, as soon as she's asleep I move her back to her bed. But now even when I do that.. She feels me pick her up and freaks out. I'm SO tired. I just give up and let her stay because I'm too tired!

KateLouise · March 2015

When you say she's screaming to get out, is she in a cot? Or in her room with the door shut?

Just thinking if it's a matter of her being shut in her room, have you tried leaving the door open. I know going up and down the hallway can be exhausting to keep taking them back to their room, but persistence does pay off.

If she's in a cot, have you considered a toddler bed and lying down with her while she goes to sleep?

Just trying to understand the exact situation so I can try and offer more specific ideas.

It's not easy though, and you could be right that she's aware of the new baby.

niknak1208 · March 2015

KateLouise Thanks! She's still in her crib currently. We have her big girl bed but haven't set up the room yet because we'll be rearranging some things to accommodate for the new baby. She's never had issues sleeping in her crib before. We also wondered if the big girl bed will help. I do shut her bedroom door and always have. Not so much because of us being awake still but we have a big lab and he's always walking up and down the halls and following me around and when I've tried keeping her door open.. he wakes her up a thousand times. lol he goes in there and looks at her and sniffs at her. lol It just doesn't work out. She has a night lite too. It's just weird because I'll rock her like I always do.. the routine is always the same and she'll say mamma I want to go in there and point to her bed. So I'll say ok and put her down and cover her up and she'll say good night.. love you and I'll leave the room. Ten minutes later she's screaming saying ' I don't want to go to bed' over and over.. begging to come lay in the 'big bed' (she means our bed). She'll try to negotiate when I'm still in there sometimes.. pleading mamma.. I wanna lay in the big bed.. for just a minute.. please mamma. Lately, I've been giving up and letting her crash in our bed because I'm exhausted. She always falls asleep pretty easily. I just don't get it!

We should have her big girl room ready in the next month or so. Maybe that will help. Because then I could lay with her and sneak out and she would probably be fine. She did wake me up this morning at 5am.. tapping on my cheek and telling me she wanted to watch Cailou. lol

xuxachi · March 2015

Hate to say it, but if you're caving in, she has no reason to stop. I think you have to bite the bullet and stick with putting her in her bed and keeping her there until she stops. It may take a few nights and a lot of work, but you have to think of the longer term. When baby arrives you can't have her negotiating her bedtime. And it could get worse when baby arrives. Nip it in the bud. Good luck!!

niknak1208 · March 2015

xuxachi I know! I know you're right. Last night she did sleep about half of the night in her room which is a big improvement. Normally, I can move her in there and she stays all night so I'm not sure why suddenly she's not wanting to be there. It's driving me nuts though and it's not good for her sleep or mine. I don't think we have anything going on this weekend so I'll have to test my toughness and see how we do! I struggle during the week because I'm working full time and I am so burnt out that all I want to do is go to sleep and I'm not sleeping well anyway and this has just been making it worse.

KateLouise · March 2015

If you're going to do a big sleeping change in a month then honestly I wouldn't really try and fight it just yet. If you can get her to go to sleep happily in her own bed great, but if she's resistant then fine.

I would spend the next month getting some really good sleep and preparing yourself for what strategies you want to use for the big girl bed.

I've always avoided lying with them until they go to sleep. I'll lie down with them for a couple of minutes, and talk about their day and settle them in and then leave.

When they're brand new to sleeping in a big bed, I let them know that I'm going to go and do something and then come back and see them. I pick something quick, and that ideally they can hear me do. eg. "Mummy needs to make a cup of tea, I'm going to turn the jug on to boil and then come back and see you." So I get to leave but go back to them before they've thought to get up out of bed themself.

Then I'll do something that takes a bit longer, "I'm just going to go and make a cup of tea, and then come back and see you."

"Mummy's going to drink her cup of tea, and then I'll be back."

Each time I go back to them, I just give them another cuddle and a little kiss. No talking, and maybe a pat on the back (my eldest loved having her back patting as part of her settling routine, my youngest likes having her face stroked)

Then as time goes on, I make each time I leave a bit longer. So I'll ditch turning on the jug, and go straight to, I'm going to make a cup of tea.

If they do get up, I just walk them back to their bed, tuck them back in, and either say, "goodnight" and walk out or, "I said I'll be back to see you when I've finished my cup of tea."

I've never shut the door on them, but we don't have a dog to contend with.

They both happily go to sleep in their own beds with no fussing or special treatment beyond being tucked in and a cuddle.

My youngest however, is really battling staying in her own bed in the middle of the night, and comes and gets into my bed. I'm not going to fight it right now with my morning sickness, but once that passes then I'll just get up walk her back to her bed over and over and over again. Which is exhausting and takes perseverance but it's my preferred strategy.

There are other approaches, and there's no right or wrong. Good luck.

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