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June 2015 Moms
EmleeJane
member
Advocating for yourself during l&d
EmleeJane
member
I really want my experience to be as natural as possible. I would love to be attended by a midwife but my insursnce will not cover a home birth and the nearest birthing center is a few hours away. I am a low risk pregnancy with no complications. I recognize that things may not go as planned and I am prepared to roll with it... if needed. I have discussed these wishes with my doctor and she seems supportive. However, when she walked me through the circumstances in which she would need to intervene, it made me a little less confident in her support.
I did some research online and so much of what I found were stories of doctors intervening unneccesarily.
Has anyone had experience advocating for yourself during L&D? I know doctors are required to establish informed consent but I have heard that many just tell their patients what they must do. Any advice?
I did some research online and so much of what I found were stories of doctors intervening unneccesarily.
Has anyone had experience advocating for yourself during L&D? I know doctors are required to establish informed consent but I have heard that many just tell their patients what they must do. Any advice?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Advocating for yourself during l&d
If you have no luck with that, hire a doula. Good luck.
If you don't mind me asking, what were some of the situations or doctor mentioned intervening that you didn't want to happen (just trying to get a better idea of the practice!!)
Best wishes on the safest delivery possible for you and the baby with the least interventions possible!!!
With my first I took a Hypnobirthing class and the teacher who had been a L & D nurse for 30 years gave us helpful information that stayed with me (she didn't make it up, just passed it along to us). Remember the acronym 'BRAIN"
B- Benefits, what are the benefits of what you are suggesting?
R- Risks, what are the risks?
A-Alternative, are their any alternatives to what you are suggesting?
I- Intuition, what is your intuition telling you?
N-Nothing, what happens if we do nothing or do nothing right away?
Then you always ask for a few minutes to discuss alone with your partner. This is all possible, so long as it isn't a true emergency, in which case you put all your faith into what your provider is telling you.
AND make it WEll KNOWN THAT YOUR BIRTH PLAN IS TO BE RESPECTED AND FOLLOWED WITHOUT JUDGMENT OR DELAY!! plus you can add in it that anything else besides what's listed must be preapproved by you prior! Just let them know what you want and dont want, and that YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF YOUR BABY AND YOURSELF and those that cannot respect your wishes can stay well away from your labor and delivery period!!!
BTW... YOU CAN FIND IDEAS FOR HOW TO CREATE A BIRTH PLAN ONLINE, JUST GOOGLE HOW TO MAKE A BIRTH PLAN OR BIRTH PLAN TEMPLATES. And decide if certain things are more important to you such as... delayed cord clamping, rooming in, immediate skin to skin contact for bonding, staff hands off until baby has bonded and finished nursing etc, these things are your choice and your the absolute right to tell them and enforce your life choices!
you can add your own things and create your own birth plan, also you can ask the hospital questions regarding their protocol's and guidelines rules etc. It is best to give the labor and delivery staff at the hospital a copy of your birth plan about a week or two before you go into labor and also give your obgyn clinic and your prenatal doctor or midwife a copy before delivery too!!! So they can become familiar with your wishes ahead of time!!!
Hope this helps, please email me if you need any help making your birth plan or have any questions this is my fourth pregnancy and our fifth baby being our last pregnancy was 7lb twin girls, so I am an expert in birth plans and pregnancy related areas , I am also in the health care field and have good deal of knowledge both dental and medical and an awareness of many protocols rules and regulations in my state,I am a certified health care provider!!
anyone else reading this is also welcome to email me for the same reasons at kaegic7@gmail.com
Blessings mama's, Chasi
Does it help if the birth plan is in all caps?
2nd round exp 8/20/18.
Does it help if the birth plan is in all caps?
****quote fail***
I think the number one way to advocate for yourself isn't necessarily through these long, written birth plans (I honestly don't think many people will read it or memorize it - you're not their only patient), but rather by having your support person know exactly what you are hoping to achieve and being able to articulate that in the moment (either you or your support person needs to be able to speak up).
Ask questions and demand sufficient answers before you grant consent if you're concerned about ANYTHING that is happening. Do plenty of research beforehand (you're probably not a doctor but you should know the most common reasons why a csection would be deemed medically necessary, for example) and talk to your OB about the process and the circumstances under which they would want to deviate from what you had planned on. On the day of, you or your support person should be able to be a vocal presence and know what is going on with your and baby's care.
Also, it's important to recognize that you can't control a lot of what happens (baby's positioning, if your water breaks before contractions start, if your baby has the cord wrapped around their neck, etc) so you're going to have to be flexible but you shouldn't feel steamrolled by your medical provider - you both have the same end goal so if they want to do something that's not "part of the plan", have them explain their rationale (it doesn't need to be a long debate but you'll probably feel better about it if you get the opportunity to hear what the concerns and risks are regarding the options). I think @sschwege 's BRAIN acronym is perfect.
Proud Mama to cleft cutie
OP - I very strongly suggest you NOT go in with a lengthy birth plan and guns blazing. That's the fastest way to get your wants and needs ignored.
Proud Mama to cleft cutie
I think birth plans can be helpful in alleviating anxiety about birth for some moms. That being said, my birth plan was DRUGS. In all caps.
@mamahawk12 great point about the importance of the L&D nurses.
I feel what's more important than writing the minutiae of your every whim down is to educate yourself and have an open, honest dialogue with your delivery team about what is best for YOU.
Harping on over-the-top birth plans and making people who don't have them out to be careless and uneducated only throws fuel onto the mommy war fire. Implying that someone won't have an ideal birth if they haven't done hours and hours of "research" (Let's be clear, "The business of being born" is NOT research) is ridiculous and myopic.
Proud Mama to cleft cutie
All I know is my hospital and practice of doctors share the same views I have on childbirth, as one of the nurses I practice patient and family centered care to a "tee" when in the best interest of health, and I trust every single person I will be delivering with/and around. But still...I see everything under the sun and will not have a birth plan. Anything for a healthy baby and healthy mom if need be, and I trust those around me to make the appropriate decisions.
I can't imagine stressing about how I want my "perfect" birth to go. It would set me up for so much worry/lost sleep/disappointment.
Frankly I don't care if my birth is attended by wolves, as long as the baby and I are healthy.
My goals for giving birth is 1. Get me and baby through as safely as possible 2. Try and do so with as little discomfort as possible. Everything else is a bonus.
I don't particularly feel the need for a written birth plan, and the reason for that is actually because I am quite well educated - both me and my husband are doctors and we are comfortable enough with medical information and the jargon that we can discuss treatment options with the doctors and midwives and make good decisions. We are also educated enough to know what we don't know - neither of us are obstetricians and no matter how much research we do now, we will not know more than the Drs/midwives who do this everyday.
I also have friends who are paediatricians who have told me some terrible stories about cases where mothers and babies were put at risk because of the mothers insistence on sticking rigidly to a birth plan.
If having a written birth plan helps you feel more in control then great. But be prepared to be flexible and let things go if necessary. Don't go into labour with the attitude that doctors are the enemy, that interventions are inherently evil or that you know more than the experts around you. And by all means do research, but be critical of your sources. There is a huge amount of faulty "information" out there.
Some great comments here. I feel lucky enough to have found practitioners in the US I trust and I live in a big city with world class medical care. But don't forget not everyone lives where there are infinite choices in practitioners/facilities. It was easy(well possible) to find one that was compatible with my needs, interests, and values.
In S. Korea where I am now there are TWO practitioners who can see me and they both deliver in a small hospital that functions like a factory(social healthcare system). The culture is one of not questioning doctors in any way, fathers aren't allowed at transvag utrasounds or anatomy scans or to be present at C-sections. I have had to be a strong advocate for myself, ask lots of questions and be kind of pushy. It's not that I don't trust my doctor...she's great but I don't always understand her reasoning thinking since like 99% of us I didn't go to med or nursing school. And Korean doctors tend to give you the worst prognosis in long detail first before pointing out the more likely culprit. Seriously scary to hear the word cancer get a five minute explanation...and then hear "but it's probably [some treatable minor affliction here]".
My case is a bit extreme, but I'm sure there are other women in similar bonds due to location/finances/insurance constraints. They may even be using military health care which also limits ones options. Birthplans are a nice way to educate onesself though as has been said the plan can quickly be thrown out the door (AND YES STMs I know still have them!! Not just an annoying thing ignorant FTMs do!).
Just thought I'd provide another point of view!
I think in the end you have to do what works for you, birth plan or no birth plan. Good luck!
This. DH is Coast Guard and we are stationed here in the states, but we have the military insurance (Tricare) and it's pros and cons for being stationed in a small town in the Great Lakes. Since we are so far from any large military installation, I don't have to go to an on-base medical facility. Which is great, cause I have never had a positive experience at an on base facility. Neither has DH. Essentially there are no results unless you see a civilian doctor. But since we are in such a small town, there is only 1 hospital, and only 3 OBs able to use that facility, period (My drs office is actually in a clinic in the hospital itself). And while we are able to see civilian doctors, which usually means a better standard of care, not much is actually covered. Example, during my pregnancy NONE of my ultrasounds (not even the a/s) are covered unless 'medically necessary'. Luckily, these doctors are experienced with working with Tricare, and have learned how to write up their reports in such a way to make the two I have had (the initial to establish placement in the uterus, and the a/s) 'medically necessary' (it also helps that I am over 35, and thus 'higher risk'). Breast pumps at this time are NOT covered. My stay in the hospital post birth will be as minimal as possible. My understanding is that they prefer to keep women 2 nights after vaginal birth, and more for a C-section, but I will probably not be able to stay that long due to my insurance. I am fortunate that the hospital has a very nice birthing wing, and all I have heard from locals is how great they all are (and I like the 2 of three drs I have met), but if they sucked I would still be stuck going there, cause everything else is so far away (over an hours drive). And the thought of having all this OB stuff and birthing stuff at the military facilities I have been at just makes me shudder - I'm sure there are military bases where women have had great experiences, but in 4 assignments with 2 military medical facilities under my belt, I've always been glad to have the opportunity to see a civilian doctor, even with the restrictions the insurance places on me.
So yeah, as a FTM I used a sample birth plan in the pregnancy and childbirth book my dr gave me to educate myself and formulate my opinions on having an IV vs a heparin lock or narrowing my focus on how I want them to treat baby after birth (offer formula? sleep in the room with me or the nursery?) but my plan is to get this kid out with minimal health concerns to either of us, and be open to pain control including an epidural cause I think I have good pain control, but maybe I won't when the time comes.