Leaving the baby

buppydups10 · February 2015

how soon is too soon to leave the baby with a grandparent? Both my husband and I are supposed to be in our friends wedding 3 weeks after my due date, and although baby is measuring big and I feel I may go early, I'm still stressed. It would be two nights in a row, one for about 2 hours we'd be away and the next for probably close to 5. Is that too much? Idk what to think or expect but my MIL made a comment to me once when we were telling her about a friends wedding in August that "it will be the first time you'll be away from the baby right?!" So I feel stressed. Any thoughts?

camdensmom32 · February 2015

My DS was 6 weeks old the first time I left him overnight with a grandparent. There is no right or wrong time. You have to do whatever you are comfortable with.

rosannewild · February 2015

It is totally up to how comfortable you're going to feel being away. You can plan for your mom to have time with baby before so you can feel that she will be content. The only thing you really have to consider is if you'll be bottle feeding breast milk or formula so that if your mon needs to give her a feeding she'll take the bottle without going "what's this thing?"

SassFrass · February 2015

I'm not leaving my baby. I'm going to breastfeed and just no. I have a family reuinion 6 weeks after birth, then a wedding shower out ofntown, then a wedding. Dh is going too so it makes sense for our kids to go as well. We also have a 6 yo. Its up to you really and what you're comfortable with . I had no choice but to leave dd1 @ 4 weeks to go back to work cuz I was a single mom, this time around, I'm not leaving this baby so soon at all.

ali0608 · February 2015

I would not have felt comfortable going to a wedding 3 weeks after my due date. You could still go late. And at 3 weeks last time, I was an emotional, exhausted mess. No easy I could have gone to a wedding, let alone be in a wedding.
Everyone is different, though.

beaseg · February 2015

ummm my daughter is 2.5 years old and I still haven't left her with a grandparent.

But I did leave her for an hour when we went to a class in order for her to get baptized. I left her with my best friend/her godmother when she was 4 weeks old. It was actually fine.

2 hours for rehearsal dinner won't be an issue I think. 5 hours will be more challenging- especially if you're nursing, your boobies won't be happy! But at 6 weeks old, baby might be sleeping a lot of that time anyway.

If you're a FTM, chances are you won't go early. And may even go late. So just prepare yourself for your plan in that event. It may work out where you and hubby decide to do the wedding together for 2 hours, then you go home to baby or he does or something like that?

My hubby and I went to a wedding when our daughter was 3 weeks old. We brought her with. The loud music and dancing? She slept through it all. We had a blast. So not sure if that's an option for you?

clarever · February 2015

I was in a wedding when my ds2 was 6 weeks and had to bring him with me. I was exclusively breastfeeding and he wouldn't take a bottle so I didn't have a choice.
I think it's all about what your comfortable with. My mil is very hands on and attentive so I would trust her. My mom on the other hand is 'go with the flow' kind of person and a very deep sleeper. I would be nervous leaving a newborn with her (I'm 1 of 8 and we all turned out fine so I'm probably just overthinking)

saric83 · February 2015

My biggest concern would be logistics of breastfeeding, if you're going that route. But otherwise, like PPs said, there is no right or wrong on the timing.

sunnyday016 · February 2015

The 2 hour thing is doable.

I don't think I could handle the 5 hour wedding because of nursing. If going to the wedding is very important to you, I'd think through the logistics of bringing the baby along.

If you're bottle feeding, it's really whatever you feel comfortable with.

justkeeptrying · February 2015

Do you have the option of bringing LO to the wedding?

We have a wedding to attend when LO will be 6-8 weeks old (depending on when baby arrives). Fortunately the brides sister also just had a baby so I have already talked to her and she has said baby can come. I will have LO with me during the ceremony and most of the reception. Their wedding is in a hotel so DH and I are thinking we might rent a room and have a babysitter come to be with LO. That way if anything goes wrong, baby needs to feed, or I am just too nervous, I can run upstairs throughout the evening to check on things. My parents have already offered to be the baby-sitters. And if that plan falls through then DH has a number of nieces that I would trust to leave baby with. Hopefully they'd have fun too spending the night in a hotel. We would just order them room service and let them use the pool etc while we are at the first part of the reception.

vic8504 · February 2015

I was in a wedding 3 weeks after having DD. did an evening at the rehearsal and then a good 8 hours the next day at the wedding. It was hard especially having to pump and dump.... I like others have not left DD over night yet with anyone.

jmorneau09 · February 2015

I have not been in this situation but one of my close friends was in my wedding two weeks after having her son. (She insisted) She brought her mom along to care for baby and we set up a room away from the business of the wedding events. This way baby was close and she could breast feed when she needed to. It also helped her to be emotionally present. It worked out great for her, but like a lot of others have said in previous posts you need to do what is right for you. I know with my first I was a fat, emotional mess at three weeks. It would have taken some serious convincing to get me to go to a wedding let alone be in one. But, Regardless of mine or anyone else's experiences you will figure out what is right for you.

MrsKindy40 · February 2015

That would be way too soon for me. I wouldn't have any fun at all. The first time I left my son overnight he was 8 months and even then I didn't want to do it. We left around dinner time and I made my DH wake up really early so we could get back to him early. Everyone is different though. I would suggest taking someone with you to watch the baby during the wedding.

courtneylevesque · February 2015

I have a wedding a few weeks after my due date and I have no problem leaving my baby with my parents - honestly I won't be shocked if my mom steals the baby away a few days after he is born. It all depends what you are comfortable with. I am super comfortable with my mom and dad watching my baby boy so early on.

The only crappy part is I plan to breastfeed so I have to make sure I pump plenty of milk for him before leaving and have to ensure he is okay with taking a bottle before I leave.

Do whatever makes you comfortable, no one can tell you the right or wrong answer for your child but you.

CateOfChicago · February 2015

I agree that it is whatever you feel comfortable with. I still haven't left my 15 month old overnight (wimp) but I see no issue with the times you mentioned. You're not leaving town.

greks84 · March 2015

I'm in my sister in laws wedding 4 weeks after my scheduled C section. I'm bringing my twins and my mom. I plan to breast feed so there is no way I would leave them that soon. My MIL will be there too obv bc she is the MOB. I'm not worried about it. I'm sure I will will feel gross and exhausted but I'm going to make it work! Like others have said, if you are comfortable leaving your LO go for it, but you could very well change your mind, even last minute!

Tmakes3 · March 2015

I'm in a wedding June 6, so 3 weeks after my RCS date. My husband and I are just going to bring the baby with us and he can pass him off when he needs to nurse.

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