Pregnant after a Loss

Telling people you are pregnant again

After having a loss or mulitiple losses, did you not want to share your news about being pregnant again.  I had 3 losses last year, they were early so very few people knew.  I only told people that I would want to be there for me if the unspeakable happened.  Which it did, repeatedly.  I just feel like I am putting these people out.  I feel like they aren't going to be able to be happy for me, just scared of what is going to happen this time.  Does anyone have any insight? I'm not asking anyone to make my decisions for me, just wondering how others handled this situation.  I'm trying to be excited, but also afraid to be excited. 

Re: Telling people you are pregnant again

  • I got pregnant for the first time back in 2012, my husband and I we're so excited we told several of our close friends and family when I was around 8 weeks. Word quickly spread and so many people we're calling us to congratulate, offer advice etc...2 weeks later we discovered my pregnancy was ectopic, and we we're forced to "un tell" everyone and then to then hear the apologies, and more advice. Over the next 12 months I came to realize I was to afraid to try again so we waited 18 months until I felt ready. My 2nd pregnancy in early 2014 ended in a miscarriage at 8 weeks. We did not tell anyone about the pregnancy or the miscarriage, and honesty it was much better for me physically and emotionally that I didn't. Again it took me a year to come around to wanting to try yet again. I am currently 8 weeks along in this, my 3rd pregnancy. We have again chosen not to tell anyone until (hopefully) I get to my second trimester.
    I worry everyday, everytime I go to the bathroom I worry I will discover I am spotting. It's a constant fear that haunts me everyday.
    But to answer your question I personally think it is better to wait to share the news.
    And good luck to you, you are not alone in experiencing these painful losses.
  • You need to do what is best for you and DH.

    I've had 4 losses (13w, c/p, 24w and 9w). Over the years I've become very open with my losses and it helps me survive my current pg.

    It sounds like some of the reason you've not told people is bc you don't want to put them out. If people have been supportive in the past, I'm sure they will be supportive to you now. If you felt uncomfortable after telling someone last time, maybe hold off this time.

    GL!!!

    BFP #1 March 24, 2010; missed m/c May 26, 2010 @ 12w 4d; D&E May 28, 2010

    BFP #2 Oct 20, 2010; My little boy was born on July 5, 2011

    BFP #3 April 30, 2013; Chemical Pg May 5, 2013

    BFP #4 Aug 22, 2013; It's a boy.  Loss discovered at 24 weeks on Jan 15, 2014 (cause CMV virus)    

                                  <3 We love and miss you Timothy <3

    BFP #5 April 6, 2014; missed m/c May 15, 2014 @ 9 weeks; Misoprostol May 15, 2014; D&C May June 3, 2014

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  • gmlmommygmlmommy member
    edited March 2015
    Well, I had a dinner with my two friends last night.  One knew when i dodged the wine question and the other noticed that I'm pretty bloated and my boobs are out of control.  took the decision out of my hands! Thank you very much for the advice.  I think with everything that has happened I just get so stuck in my own head now. 
  • I totally understand. We didn't find out about any problems with our son until 20 weeks this time and chose to carry him to term so needless to say, our loss was very public. It's been SO difficult to tell people this time, scary really. I've realized that people have been so supportive and all of my fears have been unfounded. Im glad you got to talk to your friends. Wishing you the best!
    Trigger Warning (LC and loss) -- 
    Married May 2008 
    Beautiful daughter Alyssa born April 23, 2011 
    Precious son Isaac born at 34 weeks in April 27, 2014 with Potters Syndrome Type 4 and Down Syndrome - trusted into the arms of Jesus after 3 hours.
    Pregnant again! Due August 8, 2015 please be healthy, little one!

      (results on 2/4/15 showed no Down's and it's a girl!) Lilypie Maternity tickers
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