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March 2015 Moms
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Genetic Testing

noodlienoodlesnoodlienoodles member
in March 2015 Moms
My husband and I decided to decline genetic testing and now I'm nervous about having my little girl! I'll love her either way, but I want what's best for her and I hope she is super healthy.

Is anyone else in the same boat?
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Re: Genetic Testing

  • YoungDuoYoungDuo member
    My husband and I declined any genetic testing as well. We decided that it wasn't worth the risk bc we were not going to terminate the pregnancy regardless..unless it would have been fatal to me. I'm not really nervous because based on his measurements and what they can see in ultrasounds now, they have told me everything looks great.

    I totally understand being nervous though. I was much more nervous about any possible abnormalities at his anatomy ultrasound when they did do measurements to make sure he was within all the appropriate ranges for size. It's normal to want a healthy baby, I think every parent does. The important thing is that you have chosen to love her regardless, since you chose not to have any testing done :)
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  • noodlienoodlesnoodlienoodles member
    YoungDuo said:

    My husband and I declined any genetic testing as well. We decided that it wasn't worth the risk bc we were not going to terminate the pregnancy regardless..unless it would have been fatal to me. I'm not really nervous because based on his measurements and what they can see in ultrasounds now, they have told me everything looks great.

    I totally understand being nervous though. I was much more nervous about any possible abnormalities at his anatomy ultrasound when they did do measurements to make sure he was within all the appropriate ranges for size. It's normal to want a healthy baby, I think every parent does. The important thing is that you have chosen to love her regardless, since you chose not to have any testing done :)

    Thank you for understanding and sharing your story! I know I wouldn't have terminated either way, and that's why I had chosen not to do testing. Everything did look good on the scans, so that's calming. I guess it's just the fear of the unknown at this point. :)
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  • dreyes4dreyes4 member
    I didnt get any genetic test done eather. One of my drs asked me "are you sure u dont want them done," i was like humm i have don said no. Then he started to tell me about the things that could come out. I was like even if my baby comes out with something wrong with it i will NOT kill my baby.. needless to say i changed drs after that!
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  • secretbabasecretbaba member
    Everything you two ladies just said, is what we did and the decisions we made too, for the same reasons. It is scary now, as I know a girl who's baby turned out to have Down's Syndrome a good few weeks after birth, but like you said, it won't change the way I feel about my baby. It literally is just the fear of the unknown, I'm trying not to think about it!
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  • noodlienoodlesnoodlienoodles member
    ashleyrh661 said:

    dreyes4 said:

    I didnt get any genetic test done eather. One of my drs asked me "are you sure u dont want them done," i was like humm i have don said no. Then he started to tell me about the things that could come out. I was like even if my baby comes out with something wrong with it i will NOT kill my baby.. needless to say i changed drs after that!

    We had genetic testing done. Not that we would have killed our baby if they found something. That is not the only reason people test. I would want to know what was going on with my baby, to prepare myself. Have the right resources lined up for after birth and have the right doctors there for the birth and after if needed. Please don't make it seem like anyone who does genetic testing does it because they would terminate.
    I don't think she was trying to imply that at all. She was just sharing her story. Everyone has their reasons for or for not doing genetic testing. For me, I didn't choose to do genetic testing because I wasn't going to terminate the pregnancy and because I didn't want to be upset throughout my whole pregnancy if something were wrong. Now, I wish I would have gotten it done just so I would know.
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  • Amy and JayAmy and Jay member
    ashleyrh661 said:

    dreyes4 said:

    I didnt get any genetic test done eather. One of my drs asked me "are you sure u dont want them done," i was like humm i have don said no. Then he started to tell me about the things that could come out. I was like even if my baby comes out with something wrong with it i will NOT kill my baby.. needless to say i changed drs after that!

    We had genetic testing done. Not that we would have killed our baby if they found something. That is not the only reason people test. I would want to know what was going on with my baby, to prepare myself. Have the right resources lined up for after birth and have the right doctors there for the birth and after if needed. Please don't make it seem like anyone who does genetic testing does it because they would terminate.
    I agree that termination is not the only reason people would do genetic testing. I also have to add that if someone did choose that b/c they find out their child has something like T18 or T13 (both considered incompatible with life) it's not an easy choice nor is it the same as "killing their baby", at least in my opinion. I just take issue with that wording.
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  • dreyes4dreyes4 member
    In no way was i trying to offend anyone by the way i worded my sentence..and i also was not trying to say that people only get the test done to TERMINATE thier pregnancy. What i was saying is that my dr was trying to push me in to doing the test when i didnt want to. And even if i was to have done the testing and something came out wrong i would still love my baby the same. But again in no means did i mean to say anything bad about women who does get the test don or mean to offend anyone with my wording!
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  • Amy and JayAmy and Jay member
    dreyes4 said:

    In no way was i trying to offend anyone by the way i worded my sentence..and i also was not trying to say that people only get the test done to TERMINATE thier pregnancy. What i was saying is that my dr was trying to push me in to doing the test when i didnt want to. And even if i was to have done the testing and something came out wrong i would still love my baby the same. But again in no means did i mean to say anything bad about women who does get the test don or mean to offend anyone with my wording!

    I appreciate you clarifying and do understand your point of view.

    I just have people in my life who have been faced with this awful decision and while people don't necessarily intend to judge their decision sometimes the words they use come off that way.

    I just wanted people to consider how that might read to someone who has gone through that.

    BTW, your doctor does sound like an ass and should never have pressured you.

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  • dreyes4dreyes4 member
    edited March 2015
    @Amy and Jay i so undertand and i should have watched the words i used...and yes he was. So i totally changed drs after that.
    Edit: tag
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  • Christina80xoxoChristina80xoxo member
    With my 12 year old, we thought everything was fine. When she was born, she had a really severe bilateral cleft lip and palate. I didn't know. It was a huge shock. I was young and didn't even know what it was until I had her. It would have been nice to know ahead of time so I could mentally prepare myself. Knowing wouldn't really have changed anything though and it definitely didn't change my love for her, I think it made me love her even more because I knew she needed me even more than I expected.
    Odds are, your baby will be fine. In the Small chance that something is different, we learn to adapt very quickly.
    I understand your fear, because I'm afraid too. I'm sure LO is as healthy as can be, and if baby needs you, I'm sure you will ready to do whatever it takes :)
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  • adelemsadelems member
    edited March 2015
    @Christina80xoxo my sister was born with a cleft palate as well, thankfully her lip was fine but this is prior to the major medical advances they've made in how quickly they can repair them now. You would never know she had a thing wrong with her now. But yes, we were concerned about that and had them check extra hard on the sonogram. Of course that can only show so much, but at least that's a physical thing that's fixable these days so easily! Maybe no fun. But fixable! :)
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  • Christina80xoxoChristina80xoxo member
    adelems said:

    @Christina80xoxo my sister was born with a cleft palate as well, thankfully her lip was fine but this is prior to the major medical advances they've made in how quickly they can repair them now. You would never know she had a thing wrong with her now. But yes, we were concerned about that and had them check extra hard on the sonogram. Of course that can only show so much, but at least that's a physical thing that's fixable these days so easily! Maybe no fun. But fixable! :)

    Absolutely ! The beginning was so hard, trying to feed her, she lived on antibiotics because of ear infections, speech therapy and delays. Now that she's older it's mostly cosmetic stuff. She had bone grafts last year, and a few more surgeries coming up. But in the grand scheme of things, I thank God that's all it was!
    I've been checking extra too, just in case because I don't know my mother or her family so i didn't know if it was hereditary. I'm glad things look good with your LO :)
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  • Amy and JayAmy and Jay member
    My oldest is autistic and I agree that the word "grieve" is accurate. There is so much we're happy/thankful for but it's definitely not the parenting experience we expected when she was born...
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