in laws AND parents staying after hospital

cassiedenise · March 2015

My parents live 3 hours away and my in laws live 12 hours away I only have one guest room but have an office I could put a mattress in but doesn't have a door. How do I decide who stays where?? Or should I let them stay at all. I mean we have dogs so someone has to stay with them but this is my first child and my husband's first child. Do I really want a house full of people right when I walk in the door. I'm afraid I'm going to yell at my MIL (I have a bad temper especially while in pain) my mom I have before and it's your mom but what if I end up being rude to in laws?! HELP!

KaLikeAWind · March 2015

Nope. Nope, nope, nope. There is no way I'd have them both under my roof. Bless your heart if you have the patience for that, but I'd cut someone. I already don't want my own parents to come and stay with me, and they are divorced, so I'd get them separately. In your case you can actually use the reason of both of them (the in laws and your fam) coming at the same time to suggest *everyone* stay at a hotel. That way neither fam set is getting preference, everyone is being treated the same. And you get to keep your house and sanity to yourself.

rjc2986 · March 2015

I'll have my inlaws and parents when I come home with the baby but we luckily have rooms for both couples. I'm still worried about going insane with so many people there, but I'm hoping they will help with cooking meals and holding the baby so my husband and I can sleep. If I didn't have room for both, I would probably ask my inlaws to get a hotel room...just explain that it will be a stressful time and you don't want too many people staying at your place. Or, suggest that yor inlaws come and stay the second week you're home. I think it totally depends on your patience level and your comfort level with your inlaws.

ngaines27 · March 2015

There's no way I'd let them all stay. In my opinion, it's rude of them to even ask. . .

hannahl201477 · March 2015

If they are anything like my parents and in laws they will not like having to wait to see baby. Lol. I'm just a FTM but I couldn't imagine not wanting them to meet the baby right away. But that is a lot to have so many people in the house at one time. Good luck with your situation! Do what makes you most comfortable!!

annatta79 · March 2015

You should rotate them out. Let one set stay for a bit and then bring the others in. You'll have people around to help for longer (and make them help, give them tasks) but you won't be too overwhelmed by so many people. Only one person can hold the baby at a time anyway so if they aren't all there at the same time, they will each get more baby time.

deutschbaby · March 2015

My in laws will be staying with us a for about 3 weeks when baby is somewhere between 2-4 weeks old (depends when he shows up). They are visiting from overseas, and I love my ILs dearly, so I don't mind. My MIL is awesome and will help me a ton.

No way in hell would I let my own parents stay with me. Just no. My mom is bat shit crazy.

I agree you should rotate them. This is your baby, and your time to bond as a family. Don't let grandparents pressure you into thinking this is about them. It most certainly is not.

megmama · March 2015

annatta79 said:
You should rotate them out. Let one set stay for a bit and then bring the others in. You'll have people around to help for longer (and make them help, give them tasks) but you won't be too overwhelmed by so many people. Only one person can hold the baby at a time anyway so if they aren't all there at the same time, they will each get more baby time.

I agree, rotate. It will allow you to have help longer, and you will not feel like you have a cramped full house.

Katerina&Baby · March 2015

I'm lucky because my MIL lives 10 minutes from us and my parents are less than an hour away so nobody will be expecting to stay at our house BUT if I were in your shoes, I would request that everyone stay in hotel rooms - it's wonderful to have visitors for some portion of the day and I'm sure they will be a great help but I would want to be able to be alone with just DH and baby at the end of the day and try to figure stuff out on our own without people hovering over us or (god forbid) trying to hang out with me when I'm trying to breastfeed baby.

Sportzchck · March 2015

I would ask them to rotate if they all live far away. My mom lives across the country while my MIL is an hour away. So my mom will be staying with us during her summer break (she is a teacher) and my MIL will come up and can crash downstairs in the living room from time to time.

I am very close to my mom though and she is going to be helping me for a few weeks while my husband goes back to work, so he can save his paternity time for the fall. But even my grandmother has already said she will stay in a nearby hotel when she comes to visit because I don't need a house full of people and she remembers being a mom for the first time.

MairaNSoto · March 2015

I'm in the same situation, my mother in law is moving in with us a couple months before baby is born to help out with baby and my 2 yr old. My sister in law is coming into town for a week with my 2 yr old niece and my 13 yr old nephew. My mom will also be coming into town with my 18yr old sister and 14yr old brother. I live 6 hrs away from everyone. I have a big home so I have plenty of room, I'm happy to have the help so Neither me nor my husband have to clean or cook. My mom might be my only issue because we bump heads a lot and I'm not sure I'm going to be in the mood to deal with her.

magono20 · March 2015

We are having all parents come out 3 days after the baby arrives. But they will be getting hotels! We have the room but I think that it would be chaos! Do what you and your husband feel comfortable doing. The families should respect your privacy and wishes! Good luck!

HomeLiveLove · March 2015

No way. We are not allowing anyone to stay at our house, period.

babybean9 · March 2015

I'm probably not the norm, but I don't really want anybody visiting after the baby is born, let alone staying over. I'll let people come over no sooner than a few hours after delivery. There's so much going on and I just want some time to bond with my husband, new baby and stepson.

I'd rotate them out if them coming is a sure thing. Good luck!

mindaa · March 2015

That sounds terrible. I'm planning some time for dh and I to get our bearings. I have my parents coming two weeks after due date and in-laws coming a month after dd. (And after parents leave) Guess at my old age I'm OK setting some boundaries, for the sake of my mental health

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