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May 2015 Moms
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Strangers staring and giving advice

mrscimino914mrscimino914 member
in May 2015 Moms
Im sorry I need to vent. It's not Monday but whatever. I'm 30 weeks tommorrow, but today I was going to the mall real quick to pick up nespresso capsules for our coffee machine that really my husband now drinks. But my doctor allows me to have one espresso a day and that's my caffeine I take for the day. But as I was walking to Bloomingdales everyone just stares at me, I really thought I had something on my face because literally thirty people looked at me. Like you never saw a pregnant chick before. I find it so rude. It's not a "oh that's sweet she's pregnant" face, it's like there looking at me "like why is she knocked up". It might be hormones but I can't take it. Finally I go to the counter and order the boxes I need and they give you free samples, so I order my coffee for the day and the barista says decafe I calmly said no. But of course the lady staring at me decides to inform me that caffeine is not good for the baby as if it was her child she was carrying. Mind you I'll admit I'm a hothead and being pregnant does not help. I just went off on this lady, I told her "how dare you come up to me and tell me what I should do for my child. I get to have one coffee a day, you are aloud to have 300-500 Mg's of caffeine a day. But obviously you know what's best for me. Are you a doctor?" And she just looked at me and said I didn't need to be rude. Like wtf lady I could of said a lot more which I wanted to and you are rude for saying that when I didn't ask for advice. I was beyond mad I walked away. People seem to advise me to do things all the time. The best is when they don't even have any children. This grinds my gears. If I want advice I'll ask for it. I get enough from my family but they're an exception. Am I crazy, was I in the wrong?? Like I've seen much worse things pregnant ladies doing and I would never say a thing because I have no right to. Anyways I feel much better venting this and sorry for the long message but I just needed to. My husband said I need to calm down but I had enough. Anyone else have a experience like this???
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Re: Strangers staring and giving advice

  • seamama525seamama525 member
    I haven't but that woman was way out of line. I think you had a great comeback! I felt weird buying beer today for a recipe like everyone was judging me in the liquor aisle.
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  • mrscimino914mrscimino914 member
    Omg hahaha
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  • khaleesi123khaleesi123 member
    I AM SO GLAD YOU TOLD HER OFF!! I am so sick of people I know telling me that I'm bad for having a cup of coffee in the morning and it's mostly coming from friends who did worst eg DRINKING ALCOHOL the one that told me I'm bad for drinking 1 cup of damn coffee was a friend that has a photo of her having a shot while pregnant ... Obviously I went off and pointed it out to her.
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  • prettileeprettilee member
    I feel you!! I get looks almost everyday when people see me with my daily coffee. Whenever they say anything to me, I just respond back that my doctor told me that having one coffee a day was better for the baby than the sinus headache medicine that I used to take, which if I took could cause actual birth defects. I gave up coffee for the first 4 months, but then the crippling sinus headaches started coming in, and those paired with my headaches I was still having from caffeine withdrawal, were putting me out of commission almost daily. People general stop giving me grief once I explain that to them.
    I wonder if people do the same to pregnant women that they see out and about with a Coke as well?
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  • khaleesi123khaleesi123 member
    @prettilee they do! My friend was walking around with a can of coke whilst pregnant she got dirty looks even after giving birth when she was walking around a random lady said to her drinking coke isn't good for breast feeding babies.. My friend had bad mastitis and couldn't even breast feed so yup not any business of hers.
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  • buppydups10buppydups10 member
    I was on line for a movie ride at Disney and asked the attendant to confirm its safe for expectant mothers (I was 8 wks and not showing at all) the woman behind my friends asked what we were asking and my friend said "oh she's pregnant and wanted to make sure". The woman says to me "oh congratulations! Now go throw your soda away". I'm like yeah thanks no. Rude!
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  • kat0217kat0217 member
    I just want to clarify, it's recommended that you have no more than 200mg of caffeine per day while pregnant, not 300-500. Also remember caffeine is found in chocolate, soda, and tea, so if you're having any of those, check amounts. That being said, people should definitely not be rude about it, especially when they aren't familiar with the actual information available.

    https://americanpregnancy.org/pregnancy-health/caffeine-during-pregnancy/
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  • scubakatescubakate member
    I would have informed her that I wasn't pregnant, just fat and made her feel like an idiot.
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  • curlylaura617curlylaura617 member
    My pregnancy has become high risk and I have told very few people bc I feel like if they know they will judge away at everything I do. My dr also said a can of soda a day is fine and I don't need people judging me when I do have one. People are ridiculously judgemental of pregnant women.
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  • marijaa333marijaa333 member
    What people say has everything to do with their own problems and next to nothing to do with you.  For whatever reason(s), people like to give advice to pregnant women. I just smile, say thanks for the advice, and move on as quickly as possible. The other day, a strange woman at work (we had never met before) introduced her self and proceeded to give me nipple care advice in the same breath. I thought it was strange but what can you do. It really isn't about you, it's about their own issues. 
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  • cassietegtmeiercassietegtmeier member
    kat0217 said:

    I just want to clarify, it's recommended that you have no more than 200mg of caffeine per day while pregnant, not 300-500. Also remember caffeine is found in chocolate, soda, and tea, so if you're having any of those, check amounts. That being said, people should definitely not be rude about it, especially when they aren't familiar with the actual information available.

    https://americanpregnancy.org/pregnancy-health/caffeine-during-pregnancy/

    Thanks but I think I'll be listening to my dr over you.
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  • kat0217kat0217 member
    cassietegtmeier said:

    kat0217 said:

    I just want to clarify, it's recommended that you have no more than 200mg of caffeine per day while pregnant, not 300-500. Also remember caffeine is found in chocolate, soda, and tea, so if you're having any of those, check amounts. That being said, people should definitely not be rude about it, especially when they aren't familiar with the actual information available.

    https://americanpregnancy.org/pregnancy-health/caffeine-during-pregnancy/

    Thanks but I think I'll be listening to my dr over you.
    It's not my personal opinion. It's what is recommended by the American Pregnancy Association (which I linked to in the initial post), the Mayo Clinic (linked below), WebMD (linked below), and the National Institute of Child Health & Human Development (also linked below). I could probably find at least 10 more sources, but this seemed adequate. You may want to ask your doctor where they got their information. It's never a bad thing to ask a doctor for clarification, especially when all the research contradicts their recommendation. Doctors don't know everything and can be wrong too. The good ones are the first to admit that.

    https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/pregnancy-week-by-week/in-depth/pregnancy-nutrition/art-20043844?pg=2

    https://www.m.webmd.com/baby/news/20100721/moderate-coffee-drinking-ok-in-pregnancy

    https://www.nichd.nih.gov/health/topics/preconceptioncare/conditioninfo/pages/healthy-pregnancy.aspx
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  • mrscimino914mrscimino914 member
    Yea my doctor told me that's the amount I cAn take. I also have chronic migraines, and caffeine helps other then pain medication, so she told me if I need to have a coffee or some chocolate to relieve my pain, then do so. I think every doctor has there own opinion and every patient is diagnosed differently then just what the Internet says. Not saying I don't agree with you, or putting down your research. I just think it matter who you are. And What one doctor or article says doesn't mean my doctor or another doctor is wrong. This is pretty much my complaint of people saying what is right and wrong because everyone's different. But I didn't mention my migraines so I understand why you stated that.
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  • 2undertwo2bee2undertwo2bee member
    edited March 2015
    Yes people shouldn't tell you what to do but just let it roll off your back. Everyone has opinions.
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  • catieanncatieann member
    I would have done the same thing!
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  • cphbldcphbld member
    Last week I has 2 older gentlemen at work give me advice on labor. What to expect and how to get through labor. What I should do to get ready for it. I am not in the medical field. They have no medical training what so ever other than the fact that their wives had kids. I just about died laughing. Since it was work, I didn't want to be rude to them but in my head I wanted to go off on them. They were describing labor pain like they have been through it and the different pain management styles. Telling me that i should not take any meds...all i wanted to say was, really? People always think they know better for you.
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