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Need Opinions: Husband traveling

babyas15babyas15 member
in May 2015 Moms
Hi Everyone,

I need opinions because I feel kind of upset that my husband is planning on going out of town when I am 35 weeks.  My husband has his full time job, but on the side his hobby is playing in a band.  Majority of his shows are local, and the few times the gigs have been out of town which always gone to.  Well this time he and the band scheduled a gig when I am 35 weeks, and this is not a gig that is only a few hours driving distance away.  I live in California and they will be going to Washington.  Obviously I will not be going.  I don't think it's okay for him to be going when I am this late in pregnancy.  Or maybe I am just being emotional? I would be more understanding if he had to travel for work, but this is not work this is a hobby and completely optional.  So any opinions will be very helpful.  My pregnancy overall has been going pretty good, however I do have complete placenta previa.  I have not been put on bed rest, just on pelvic rest, and limited physical activity. 
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Re: Need Opinions: Husband traveling

  • rklinge0rklinge0 member
    I have talked to my hubby about my expectations for the last month of pregnancy. One of his friends was talking about getting married sometime late spring, if this was the case he was going to miss the wedding. His friend lives in NC and we live in KY. I also told him he is pretty much going to be on lock down my last month, so no drinking or staying out late. I would hate to go into labor and him not be there or able to drive. So I don't think your crazy. Ftm tend to go late but I do know quite a few people who have gone 2 to 3 weeks before edd. And its such an important event in your life that you need your hubby there with you.
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  • lola2beelola2bee member
    Well what does he say about why he's going?
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  • louloutte87louloutte87 member
    How long is he going for? If it was a few days I'd say you're being a bit emotional... If was a couple of weeks I'd say it was warrented.
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  • babyas15babyas15 member
    Well he says he is going because this is "good" for him.  To be able to play music, and perform it makes him happy.

    He will be gone the weekend.  However, its hard not to get worried that how about if the weekend he leaves all happens relating to pregnancy and baby.

    So, it's hard for me.  I want him to be happy.  But at the same time I want to be able to feel the least amount of stress during pregnancy, and the first few months after baby is born.


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  • Tmakes3Tmakes3 member
    I personally would tell him to go, but I'm pretty laid back anyway. You still have 5 weeks til due date and, although something technically could happen, chances are it won't. My husband is in a wedding 8 hours away when I'm 38 weeks and I'm just going with it...
    Tyler Daniel (4) & Tessa Mary (2)

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  • sugar9277sugar9277 member
    I'd let him go but make sure he kept his cell phone on him and checked it periodically. My husband is working out of town from now until I'm 37 weeks, so I'm just prepared to take myself to the hospital if I need to and call him if something happens early.

    [url=http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers] 

    [url=http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers]

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  • MrsS728MrsS728 member
    My husband will be traveling for work during my 35th week as well. While he won't be in another state, he will be several hours away. We've already made a plan in case something happens and I go into labor. My mom is 30 minutes away and the hospital is 15-20 minutes away from my house. If, at my check up right before he leaves, the doctor says that I've started to dilate or my cervix is shorter or anything like that, then I will stay at my mom's for the week. He also is supposed to travel in my 38th week, but he put his foot down and told his boss that he won't be traveling after this 35th week trip.  Bottom line, you have to plan for the unexpected and hope that everything goes according to your plan. GL. 
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  • rlcrowtherrlcrowther member
    my husband is also in a band and leaving for a week for sxsw in austin texas when i will be around 34 weeks. we live in new england so it is very far and they are driving. i am nervous, but worse case scenario is that he flies home if i go into labor. i am preparing to have someone on call for me. of course i would rather he not go, but playing music is what he loves, and as my sons father, i respect that is what he does. check with your care provider if you havent already. i totally understand how you feel! i have dealt with touring for a long time.
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  • rae430rae430 member
    I'd tell him to go but to be prepared to turn around ASAP if something happens. My DH has to fly out of town for 24 hours only 6 days before my due date for a once in a lifetime job opportunity- difficult to explain but it's a huge deal and completely inflexible. We've decided that we'll go to my OB a few hours before his flight leaves, and if she sees signs of labor beginning, he won't go. If I do go into labor while he's gone, he's on the first available flight back. My MIL is a nurse practitioner and is going to be staying with me while DH is gone to drive me to the hospital if need be. DH is terrified to go, but it could potentially change our lives if the opportunity works out, and if the baby DOESN'T end up coming on that day, I think it would be a big regret.

    Long story short, I think it's probably OK for your husband to go, but it might make everyone happier to schedule an OB appointment before he leaves, at least for a little peace of mind.
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  • beasegbeaseg member
    I am currently throwing a fit about my husband going to a conference when I'm 32 weeks pregnant that is a half an hour away (since he'll be sleeping there for 4 days). Sooooo I think it's safe to say I wouldn't be on board with your husbands plans. But I also sobbed in the theater watching Paddington today with my 2 year old. Soooo I'm not the best judge. Just giving my two cents. 
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  • chavez2685chavez2685 member
    My husband works two weeks at a time away from home and as of now is scheduled to be gone when I'm due. Sometimes you just need to calm down and remeber it isn't only about you. If he's only gone for two days at at 35 weeks they would try to stop any labor any way. Most drs won't consider you full term until 37 and won't deliver early unless it's due to a health risk for you or the baby.
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  • stark01938209stark01938209 member
    At least you don't travel for work. My doc has okayed me to travel through 36 weeks... It's always by plane. I'm cutting it off though- luckily my supervisor is more worried about that than I am. As long as he has his phone on standby - I think you should be open to it. It's more than likely you won't have issues. Life still goes on.
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  • carajeanp37carajeanp37 member
    I've been really upset about this recently too and I'm trying to adopt a zen attitude towards it; my boyfriend is in the Marine reserves and is getting sent to Africa for the month of May. So I will be alone during my 9th month and there's a good chance he won't be there for baby being born which is pretty heartbreaking (I'm due May 30th he's scheduled to be home the 28th so who knows).. For a lot of months I tried to fight it and see if there was any way around it but obviously the military doesn't care about my baby so I'm trying to just be okay with everything. My mom would be there if he doesn't make it back, it just makes me sad to think about..
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