Community› The Bump Month Clubs› October 2015 Moms
October 2015 Moms
New Discussion

Vasectomy baby :)

Mommajones0315Mommajones0315 member
in October 2015 Moms
my husband had a vasectomy at 19, we were married 4 months ago and found out we were expecting 2 weeks ago, he was very happy at first but this morning hit me with a surprise of he wants nothing to do with the pregnancy until te baby is born and he can have a dna test done, I was crushed hurt angry and MAD ! Anyone else had this happen ???
Report Reply to Post

Re: Vasectomy baby :)

  • MbecharaMbechara member
    That's really hurtful that he is questioning the paternity of the baby.
    As an FYI though , a dna test can be performed while your pregnant.
    Sorry u have to go through this.
    Report Reply
  • mommytobe2714mommytobe2714 member
    I was pregnant last March but miscarried. Anyway the guy I got pregnant with apparently told me he had a accident that disabled him to have kids. Well eighteen days after my period I took a test. Came back positive. Found out I was five weeks. He denied it was my baby. Him his mom and sister told me I shouldn't be a whore and lie bout my pregnancy. I miss carried five days after that and I had no evidence that I was. So they think is till lied bout it. Which I know I didn't! I hope everything goes good with you and baby's daddy. Keep you in my thoughts and prayers that he turns around and realizes that's his baby. His stuff could have had alittle bit of babies still in there. It happens!
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • smiles1212smiles1212 member
    I'm sure he looked on the Internet or was told by friends that it is near impossible to get pregnant after a vasectomy. Key word here is NEAR. Same with getting your tubes tied. It is still possible, just rare. And like mbechara said, you can get paternity checked during pregnancy now. It does carry a slight risk of miscarriage like any other test that they have to poke into the amniotic sac for.
    Report Reply
  • LydiaPickLydiaPick member
    My friend had two kids, then her husband got a vasectomy. Apparently after the procedure, you are supposed to go back to the dr for a follow up appt to make sure the vasectomy worked for sure. Well, he kept putting it off his follow up appt to check....and now she is pregnant again :) So yes, it definitely can happen.
    Report Reply
  • Mommajones0315Mommajones0315 member
    Thanks guys I think a few "friends" of his is what got this started
    Report Reply
  • Knottie96391996Knottie96391996 member
    I work for a urologist and we do vasectomys frequently. They are not 100%. A lot of men get them and are still fertile. Praying that he comes to his senses and wants to be an active part of the pregnancy.
    Report Reply
  • ajhellmuthajhellmuth member
    That's awful & so hurtful! I've heard of plenty of vasectomy babies! I wouldn't put up with that crap! I really hope he comes around or your going to have a long 9 months dealing with that :/
    Report Reply
  • mrsdhouse89mrsdhouse89 member
    @J1D I was wondering why a doctor would do that procedure on someone so young and even medically couldn't think of anything other than testicular cancer.

    OP I'm sorry you are going through this and hope things can be resolved soon, the number one supporter should be your husband and I'm glad he seems to be coming around. It sounds like a major discussion about trust needs to be had.
    Report Reply
  • J1DJ1D member
    edited June 2015
    @mrsdhouse89 I know that legally anyone over the age of 18 can have it done, but doctors have the right to decided if they want to do it or not based on their own moral and ethical standards. From what I've been able to find most doctors won't do a vasectomy on a younger man unless he already has 2 or more children.

    Like I said, I don't actually really know anything about it other than this is not the first time I've heard of a gal getting pregnant after her guy says he had a vasectomy as a teenager.

    I also know that I've had girlfriends in their 30's that had to fight to get their tubes tied because doctors think they'll change their minds later. I think there are certain double standards in place that men are believed sooner than women when they say they don't want children but I'm under the impression that sooner happens mid to late 20's not while they are still teenagers.

    Edit: words are hard
    Report Reply
  • amberrmariee20amberrmariee20 member
    @J1D @mrsdhouse89 where I'm from my mother had 3 children and was 33 almost 34, and they still didn't want to tie her tubes, she fought and argued with the drs over it. A lot of people want their tubes tied at 24,25 but the drs won't without a legitimate reason. It's so strange here !
    Report Reply
  • J1DJ1D member
    edited June 2015
    amberrmariee20 said:

    @J1D @mrsdhouse89 where I'm from my mother had 3 children and was 33 almost 34, and they still didn't want to tie her tubes, she fought and argued with the drs over it. A lot of people want their tubes tied at 24,25 but the drs won't without a legitimate reason. It's so strange here !


    As far as I'm aware, it's really the same here. Which is why I have a hard time believing a 19 year old boy was able to find a doctor who would sterilize him. I also again wonder about the money aspect because I don't see insurance covering it. But- I don't know! I'm not a doctor, a teenager boy or an insurance company. So I'm hoping I'm not speaking out of turn by asking these questions/sharing these doubts of mine.

    Eta: I also don't know how much it costs out of pocket, so it could be super cheap or available at free clinics for all I know.
    Report Reply
  • amberrmariee20amberrmariee20 member
    @J1D here our healthcare is free, so we don't need money or insurance for an procedures or anything. I guess it could be possible, just different !
    Report Reply
  • J1DJ1D member
    @amberrmariee20 that's right, I forget that you have free healthcare there.
    Report Reply
  • mrsdhouse89mrsdhouse89 member
    That's what I was thinking, my friend just hers tied but had to jump through hoops to do so.
    Report Reply
  • Mommajones0315Mommajones0315 member
    edited June 2015
    He is 35 now, he had a VERY rough child hood and at 19 was In The military active duty. Apparently a military dr was who preformed the procedure, it's a joke in my family that they just pretended to do the vasectomy. I have told him I am MORE than willing to have DNA done once baby girl is born. But I think after talking to our ob, and the urologist in our area he has come to realize that he is one of the rare cases that recantalization occurs in.
    Report Reply
  • Mommajones0315Mommajones0315 member
    @J1D that is a plan in our VERY near future lol
    Report Reply
  • amberrmariee20amberrmariee20 member
    Mommajones0315 said:

    He is 35 now, he had a VERY rough child hood and at 19 was In The military active duty. Apparently a military dr was who preformed the procedure, it's a joke in my family that they just pretended to do the vasectomy. I have told him I am MORE than willing to have DNA done once baby girl is born. But I think after talking to our ob, and the urologist in our area he has come to realize that he is one of the rare cases that recantalization occurs in.


    While the failure rate is low, it's still a very very good possibility. Usually it's a higher possibly closer to when he got it done, but none the less still a possibility ! Stuff like that happens all the times, nothing is 100% unless you have stuff removed like your testicles, or hysterectomy !
    Report Reply
  • BlinkbabyBlinkbaby member
    After 9 weeks you can have a non invasive prenatal paternity test done. It's just a blood test. They take moms blood (by arm), and dad's. At that point you already have little ones dna floating around in you. The prenatal version is about 3x more pricey than waiting until little one is here but might help your marriage and well being in the meantime.

    I'll play devils advocate and say he's probably just scared. If he really believed he couldn't have kids, and especially if he had friends whispering in his ears it's not his. He could be scared and hurt that maybe you cheated. I'm sure he loves you and wants it to be his. And I'm sure he'll regret this all when he finds out it is. Just try to think from his point of view too. It's a terrible position for you both but I'm happy for your little surprise and hoping all turns out well!
    Report Reply
  • xlipservicexxlipservicex member
    @JD1 @amberrmariee20 I'm in Canada too and I have a friend who wasn't "allowed" to get her tubes tied at 28 even tho she had four kids. They said she was too young.
    Report Reply
  • ameares721ameares721 member
    An ex of mine told me he had an "accident" and doctors said he likely would have children. And then his new girlfriend got pregnant. My husband was unsure for similar reasons and well... Here I am on this thread! Men all get hit in the junk at some point and doctors try to mentally prepare them for the possibility and it sounds like they hear but don't listen and just take it as an excuse to not use protection.
    Report Reply
  • MamaOwl15MamaOwl15 member
    Before my son was conceived, my DH (BF at the time) thought he was sterile. He'd been exposed to radiation after being warned by a doctor, and I believe he'd had his sperm counted and nothing . . . Didn't get any girls pregnant before me. Then we found out I was expecting DS! Since I'm now expecting our second child together (3rd pregnancy together counting a mc last year), obviously he's not sterile, regardless of what happened previously.

    I was scared to death to tell him about my first pregnancy, thinking there was no way he'd believe me, he'd think I cheated, etc. He didn't leave, though it took him some time to get used to the whole idea. Seeing the baby on ultrasound, hearing the heartbeat, abs later feeling him kick helped DH to bond. Now DS is two and there's no denying who his daddy is!

    OP, it sounds like your husband is having a hard time wrapping his head around the idea of being a father after thinking for so long he wouldn't be. A paternity test might help, but also just giving him some time.
    You mention that you got married pretty recently, too, so maybe that's stressing him out--finding out you'll be parents right away instead of having a couple years to adjust to married life first.

    a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Parenting Tips"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1c2dc3.aspx" alt=" Pregnancy Ticker" border="0"  /></a>
    Report Reply
  • Mommajones0315Mommajones0315 member
    Thank you all so much :) It's nice to be able to get on here and be able to talk and discuss things with much nice ladies
    Report Reply
  • amberrmariee20amberrmariee20 member
    I took the depo provera needles when I was 17 for 6 months, so 2 shots of it. I was having terrible pains in my lower abdomen, after multiple visits to the dr and hospital I passed out and they gave me an ultrasound, told me my ovaries were swelling from the hormones and the chances of me having children in my future were slim due to the changes it caused on my ovaries.... This was in June ... I was pregnant the following January, I now have a 3.5 year old healthy son. And another little boy on the way ! I guess drs can be wrong too ! Haha ...
    Report Reply
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"