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August 2015 Moms
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Relative offering to care for baby

babywhaley17babywhaley17 member
in August 2015 Moms
my SIL who is a SAHM to my 3 yro nephew has offered to watch my baby when I go back to work. I'm thankful for the offer and thrilled to have someone who loves the baby already providing care. Just wondering how to go about all the details and what questions to ask, etc... Anyone else have a relative/ close friend watching their LO? What kind of payment do you offer? How do you handle difference of opinions? What baby items do you keep at their house? TIA for any advice!
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Re: Relative offering to care for baby

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    Miz_LizMiz_Liz member
    Depending on your relationship with your SIL, this can be a sticky situation. A good friend of mine was originally supposed to watch DS when I went back to work. A week before I was supposed to go back, she raised her rate almost 50%. We ended up going with a day care instead, but to this day, my relationship with her is not the same (despite us having conversations about it, saying we are both okay with it, etc.). Things you need to find out: 1.) How much does she think is a reasonable rate? 2.) Do you plan to claim it on your taxes, and is she in agreement, or does she want under the table and you want to claim it? 3.) How will vacations/sick days work (for both of you), meaning does she plan to take any, and if you take a vacation, do you still need to pay her for the time? My advice is do some serious thinking and talking with DH before committing to this. I agree it is GREAT to have someone who you know will love and care for your child, but it can also cause problems, which is never good with family. Good luck!
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    ann_jeremiahann_jeremiah member
    My MIL watches my children for free. It's great to know that their needs will be met closest to what I would do and they are always loved... Potentiallya more flexible schedule.... The Downside is when they feel like they can decide things... What size bottles will baby have, deciding they are not ready for potty training, etc...knowing if you address issues you need to be sensitive of feelings and your relationship.

    DS1 -6/25/11

    DS2 -3/23/13

    Missed MC D&C 8/26/14

    DD - 8/26/15

    LO#4 due 5/30/17


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    j&gmiller2015j&gmiller2015 member
    I'm in the same situation. My SIL has offered to watch my child once I have to go back to work. She lives about 30 minutes out of the way, but I would rather a family member watch my child than daycare. I'm stuck on the payment portion also. Do I pay her less than a daycare because she's family or the same because she's doing me a favor? Also like I said she lives 30 minutes out of the way, so does she drive to my house or do I drive to hers. If she drives to mine should I pay her more? She doesn't have kids of her own, so I would have to buy a pack and play and transport stuff to and from her house. I'm just unsure of how to go about this. If you have been in the same situation and have some advice, please spill.
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    Miz_LizMiz_Liz member
    j&gmiller2015 said:

    I'm in the same situation. My SIL has offered to watch my child once I have to go back to work. She lives about 30 minutes out of the way, but I would rather a family member watch my child than daycare. I'm stuck on the payment portion also. Do I pay her less than a daycare because she's family or the same because she's doing me a favor? Also like I said she lives 30 minutes out of the way, so does she drive to my house or do I drive to hers. If she drives to mine should I pay her more? She doesn't have kids of her own, so I would have to buy a pack and play and transport stuff to and from her house. I'm just unsure of how to go about this. If you have been in the same situation and have some advice, please spill.




    I would not expect her to drive to my house, especially since she has kids of her own. She probably plans to be able to still go about her daily business while she is watching your child - cleaning her house, doing her own laundry, running errands, etc. As for pay, I would ask her what she thinks is fair, otherwise you may overpay or offend if you offer too little - again, awkward. I would leave a pack and play at her house and then buy a box of diapers and wipes to leave there as well and just ask her to tell you when they are getting low. That is what we did with DS's Day Care when he was going and it was much easier than trying to remember everything in the morning. You may end up having to buy duplicates of a few things in the beginning, but it will be easier on everyone involved to just have some stuff for there and stuff for your house. Good luck!
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