Bad experience at preconception visit

Babymakes03 · February 2015

Hi all! I just need to vent here! Last week I went to my Drs office for a preconception visit . I've re in a lot of places that this is the first step. Over the phone I told the receptionist that my husband and I are planning to TTC in May/June. And she said she would put me in for a consult. Once the dr got in the room she did not take me seriously at all. She said "first off you are here way too early " why did they give me this appointment then??? She did not discuss anything with me, and did not even wait to listen to my questions. If I don't talk to my doctor, WHO am I supposed to ask?! The I asked if my husband and I can attend an information session that the office holds once a month for new expecting parents. She said she's never been asked that before and she would ask the receptionist. When I turned the corner she had told them I was interested and they were all laughing at me. I feel so humiliated when I went there to have simple questions answered and to feel comfortable. I feel that it is so important to have a good relationship with the dr who goes through your pregnancy with you. I guess its back to the drawing board for me to find a new doctor

sorry for the venting.

zenma · February 2015

Absolutely find a new doctor. You should be able to talk to your doctor and ask any questions especially since you were put in the system as a consult.

jessderbs21 · February 2015

Oh gosh that's horrible. Definitely find a new doctor! I was nervous about my preconception appointment but my doctor was luckily very nice and answered my questions. Just keep looking until you're happy.

MrsBag3L · February 2015

It's better to find out she is going to be an unsupportive doctor now than when you are halfway through a pregnancy and she mocks your birth plan. I'm sorry they were so rude to you. As you said, it's time to find a new doctor. I would find one that is affiliated to the hospital or birthing center you want to deliver at. I'd also try to research their c-section and induction rates. That can tell you a lot about how they practice. Good luck!

Mysterious_wife · February 2015

Pre-concep. appointments waste everyone's time unless you have a medical issue that needs to be addressed. Going to a meeting about pg before you are pg is cart way before horse. They likely go over things that are only needed during pg. (like the hospital, after hour policies, what to expect during the first tri.) With that being said, she still should have bedside manners. Time to find a new doc. Don't expect them to be chipper over an appointment about you having sex. There isn't really anything to cover. Check out the book "Take Charge of Your Fertility." It should answer a lot of your questions

jnnfrrose6 · February 2015

While it's awful that your doctor (and apparently the people in her office) have no manners or people skills and at least you've learned that now before you really need them, I agree with MW (and you're doctor) that the appointment was unnecessary. Unless you've got a medical history that would cause concerns on your ability to get and/or stay pregnant (which your doctor would know and then hopefully handle the appointment differently), then all you need to do (and what most doctors will tell you) is to start taking pre-natal vitamins, have regular sex, and call them back when you've got a +. Not really sure what else you'd need to know or ask.

Babymakes03 · February 2015

I guess I am just glad I found out now how this office operates. Not only was it a waste of time, I don't believe it is proper HIPAA to discuss my questions for her to the receptionist in a comical matter. And I thought I was doing the right thing attending a meeting with the doctor before conception due to the fact I had an important question about a condition my husband has. I did tell the office after all what my appointment was for. Just Frustrating all around that I walked out of there hurt and without answers!

[Deleted User] · February 2015

I would DEFINITELY find someone new. What I did was discuss it with my midwife at my yearly visit. That way she has something to do, and you also have plenty of time to ask questions and discuss anything you want. In my experience Midwives are nearly always more friendly and helpful than doctors. If you want a hospital birth you could find an OB who works with midwives at a hospital. Alternatively, ask your mama friends if they liked their doctors and go off their referals.

Wonderland438 · February 2015

HIPAA only protects you in the sense of who can see your medical records (your doc and her staff) - it doesn't have anything to do with her being a giant jerk.

I would definitely find someone else. If this doc doesn't want to do a pre-conception visit, then she should instruct her staff to screen out those appointments, or combine them w/ other appointments (i.e. have it scheduled w/ your annual physical).

brela11 · February 2015

You should not feel bad about setting up a pre conception consult, that is a part of the process! I had one and learned a lot of information, was given a prescription for prenatal vitamins and was told what to start doing now 3-4 months before TTC. I would also find a new dr, one who calms your fears, answers yor questions, and makes you feel confident walking out of the office.

Mysterious_wife · February 2015

It's not part of the process. A lot of OBs don't do them. You can get the same info at a yearly exam.

[Deleted User] · February 2015

Mysterious_wife every time I see you post I get this very strong urge to go watch Daria. *sigh*

Babymakes03 · February 2015

Well this OB office does do them obviously (that's why they made the appointment.) if they didn't have these appointments they wouldn't have scheduled it as such. i have looked at plenty of forums and searched the web plenty as as well as asked my friends and most have had pre conception visits. However, this was not the experience I was looking for. And there is a medical condition that needs to be addressed and was not answered as well.

LauraSmarterSpam · February 2015

I'm so sorry your Dr. was unprofessional. I met with my OB to discuss having baby number 2 because DS was born at 32 weeks. My OB said, if it happens again it'll happen, but there is a good chance it won't. That was all we needed to hear. Granted he didn't have to meet with us, but he did and was very professional. Definitely find someone who make you comfortable. They will be with you to the finish line and even further.

That being said I didn't have a preconception before getting pregnant with DS. I just mentioned to my OB at my well woman exam that we were thinking about trying in the future. At the time I needed more BC and he said whenever DH and I were ready just to make sure I was taking prenatas with folic acid prior to trying.

I'm sure you'll be able to find a provider you can trust. Good luck!!

Tara0604 · February 2015

i'm sorry you experienced this. Your doctor and their office was extremely unprofessional and I personally would leave that office asap. I had a prepregnancy consult and my dr was extremely kind and answered all of our questions. I am not the only of my friends who have had these consults.

I suggest you ask your friends who have had babies who their drs were and if possibly find one affiliated with the hospital you want to be at (as others have suggested). If you don't feel comfortable with your dr now, it's going to be a long pregnancy with added anxiety that's unnecessary.

Good Luck!

4N6s · March 2015

Definitely go somewhere else. Good luck.

Bmnkids4 · March 2015

I was also wondering about a preconception appointment. I've recently moved and want to see a few midwifes to see which one I like and trust to help me have the birth I want. I called today and scheduled one and the scheduling person kinda chuckled when I told her I would like an appointment to meet with the midwife. So I was kinda thinking about canceling it. But how else do you know that's the doctor/midwife you want to use?

firebaby688 · March 2015

I have one scheduled next week with a midwife that works for the hospital I would want to deliver in. For me, it's important that I meet them ahead of time. I also have PCOS and want to make sure whoever I'm with is aware.

DontMakeMeAdult0903 · March 2015

My preconception visit is this afternoon (a little anxious which is why I'm trolling thebump). While I know it's not necessary, my appointment is at the birth center with midwives. They actually want me to come in to do blood work, weight, etc so that we can discuss healthy eating, exercise, etc prior to TTC since I want a natural delivery. OP, I encourage you to find a doctor or midwife that will be supportive on your journey--especially if this is your first like me.

thechristyfamily · June 2015

I called to make an appointment after being 10 days late and they refused to do a blood test. Then the doctor called and said, take your prenatal vitamins and eat healthy. We don't need to see you. I know they are busy but being a first time parent, I do have questions Id like to ask. I called again 3 days later and they gave me a blood test. Which was positive and I had to call them to get my result! After that they only gave me one appointment date and time as an option. I have to drive to another county for my first appointment to get a day that worked for me. Health care providers suck sometimes.

NoSugarCoating · June 2015

thechristyfamily said:
I called to make an appointment after being 10 days late and they refused to do a blood test. Then the doctor called and said, take your prenatal vitamins and eat healthy. We don't need to see you. I know they are busy but being a first time parent, I do have questions Id like to ask. I called again 3 days later and they gave me a blood test. Which was positive and I had to call them to get my result! After that they only gave me one appointment date and time as an option. I have to drive to another county for my first appointment to get a day that worked for me. Health care providers suck sometimes.

Why did you not just take an HPT? Less expensive than bloodwork, and you wouldn't have taken up your doctor's time with an unnecessary appointment.

thechristyfamily · June 2015

I did it was positive

bsckgb7 · June 2015

Most doctors won't even see until you are several weeks pregnant even with a positive pee test.

jnnfrrose6 · June 2015

thechristyfamily said:

I called to make an appointment after being 10 days late and they refused to do a blood test. Then the doctor called and said, take your prenatal vitamins and eat healthy. We don't need to see you. I know they are busy but being a first time parent, I do have questions Id like to ask. I called again 3 days later and they gave me a blood test. Which was positive and I had to call them to get my result! After that they only gave me one appointment date and time as an option. I have to drive to another county for my first appointment to get a day that worked for me. Health care providers suck sometimes.

Yeah, that's normal operating procedure. Get a +, call your doctor and schedule an appointment (usually around the 12 week mark). No need to go in earlier unless you don't know when your period was/how far along you could be, or you have a medical history that requires earlier monitoring.

vampbride99 · June 2015

Wow...that doctor was terrible! Definitely go find a new one!

I have had preconception visit before, but it was combined with my yearly exam/pap test. It's actually easier that way since you're already there and have the doc's time. You can ask as many questions as you'd like.

I know it's hard finding a doctor that you like. I had to go through quite a few, before I found one I really like. I hope you find a new one soon!

StarbucksShip · June 2015

Maybe you could get a preconception visit from a general practitioner instead. I saw both and while they were a bit dismissive about a visit "so early" I emphasized that I was a new patient and wanted to prevent any issues rather than deal as they came. My general practitioner then stepped up her game and we reviewed the following:

bloodwork results and ways to improve
vaccination history; turns out I was behind on my Tdap and needed to confirm my MMR was complete!
family medical history and potential impacts on pregnancy
pre-natal vitamins overview
recommended diet & nutrition for preparing for TTC; note, I now have doctors who love holistic medicine and are all about prevention. Some doctors may not focus on this.
books that they thought were helpful for preparation
review of my current medications; if I got pregnant we'd be prepared for alternatives or other methods of dealing

I was a little disappointed that my OBgyn only recommended vitamins, but she only focuses on such a narrow part of my health. My GP was a better fit for my concerns.

eta: I managed to do this lumped in with my annual exam. And really it barely takes time from the overall appointment.

Jlfoster0427 · June 2015

I would never go back there. That is such a terrible way to treat anyone. Good luck on finding a better doctor and sorry this happened to you

RachelT1234 · June 2015

That's awful! I am such a newbie with this whole process and with babies in general, and had a list of questions about TTC to ask after my routine PAP. I had to rush through them because my doctor literally had one foot out the door while she quickly hammered through her responses. After voicing my concern with the PA, she said not to worry, she is a great doctor but devotes her time to those already expecting. It made me feel like I wasn't important unless I had a baby on board

skiingstark · July 2015

Luckily I did my preconception appointment with my yearly check up so I did not have any issues scheduling. I am new to the area so when I called around I said I am looking for a new doctor and will be trying to get pregnant soon so I would like some one who could also be my doctor for that too. My doctor was so nice and answered questions for me and also then gave me advice like taking prenatal vitamins no, etc... The key thing she did for me was check my thyriod, (waiting to hear back from it) since it runs in my family and could lead to miscarriages.

HookEmNelson · July 2015

Like others, I had my preconception question and answer session at my yearly last week. Hang in there and do what feels best for you. It sounds like changing OBs might be the right choice. I would have been embarrassed too with the way the office behaved. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

LavenderBrown1018 · July 2015

My preconception visit was pretty informal. Annual check-up plus rubella screening, pre-natal vitamins and discussion of making sure to use condoms while I'm temping and off BC. I've been told home pregnancy tests are so advanced and accurate now that you don't need a blood test from a doc anymore, but I could be wrong about that.

IMO I still do think you should get another doctor since this one definitely rubbed you the wrong way! I had an awful OB/GYN a few years ago and it took finding a tumor for me to figure out how awful she was. Now I love my new OB/GYN! At the slightest hint of not being a great doctor, I would jump ship.. you don't want to find out later on that your intuition was right.

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