September 2015 Moms

Baby shower for my third baby??

I'm sure this has already been discussed but I didn't see it on the first 3 pages so I figured I would ask. I know there are a lot of opinions on this subject. I had a baby shower for my first two but it was only my mom's side of the family they threw it and didn't invite anyone else. So no one from my dad's side got to come none of hubby's family and none of our friends.
My mom's family will buy almost everything we need with both kids I don't think we ended up spending over 200 on stuff after the shower. So it's not a matter of needed more stuff it's more about having everyone celebrate with us since this will be our last.
Does it seem stupid to have such a big one for our third even though we had very small ones with our first 2?

Re: Baby shower for my third baby??

  • I had a baby shower for my 1st and 2nd only because they were 9 years apart and I obviously had gotten rid of all the baby stuff I had from my first. I am not planning to have a baby shower with this one since I just had one when my daughter was born 18 months ago. I don't need anything as far as toys, bottles, etc., so I'd feel greedy to have another shower and make people think they need to buy us stuff. I'm sure there will still be a few close relatives/friends that will give clothes or whatnot but I'm certainly not expecting it and definitely not throwing a party for it. I've heard of guys throwing "diaper parties" since baby showers aren't really for men. They plan a get together and bring diapers and beer and have a good ol' time. Maybe you could plan something like that? Or just have a celebration and tell people that gifts are not necessary?
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  • Call it a sprinkle, not a shower! Since you already have most of what you need they can come celebrate and sprinkle you with a cute outfit or disposable necessities like diapers wipes and lotions! ❤️
  • We don't have anything we gave all my daughter's stuff to one of my friends that doesn't have a job and is in a bad situation and we gave all my son's stuff to my husband's friend who just had a baby thinking we wouldn't get pregnant this fast. We have the money to get everything I'm not to worried about people buying gifts. I just didn't know since I haven't honestly ever had a decorations everybody from the family's and friends invited baby shower if I should. My family (my mom's side that raised me) just buys everything and gives it to me. They order some food and just kinda say here's everything you needed and that's about it. I know if I choose to do it that way again they will still get everything. I like the idea of a BBQ at our new house in like June. Maybe that's what we'll do.
  • Honestly, I think it is tacky to have one for a third baby unless there is a huge age gap.  I think it may be a regional thing though, some people say it is common with their friends to have one for every baby.  I would not for a third and I definitely wouldn't throw it for myself.
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  • edited February 2015
    I think it really depends on your friends and family ...a surrounding thing. I would never throw my own. I didnt even have time to think of a shower/sprinkle before my mil and best friend started planning. I suggested that it only be family and very close friends and they were okay with keeping it small. I did keep all of well pretty much everything. I didn't have a rocker, basinet or infant carseat this time but i am purchasing those things myself since they are expensive. I really feel showers/sprinkles for other than your first child is okay. I have been to 3 this year ..they are all close friends of mine i never thought it was tacky or gift grabby it's just the way we like to celebrate babies. I personally dont like the whole meet the baby party afterwards since their immune systems are not that stong and waiting for months seems pointless to me. I am sure alot dont allow the baby to be passed around but it still seems to much to soon for me
  • Oh I wouldn't be throwing it myself it might be at my house just because it's bigger and we have 2 acres of land for kids to play on but my mom sister or aunt would be throwing it. My sister was already talking about some things I should ask for since this time I will be breastfeeding and the last two I didn't so I know she is planning on throwing something I just wanted to have a bigger one since hubby's family and my dad's side have always felt left out. And the only way I can invite them is have it at my house or rent a place. Renting a place seemed a little much. Even hubby seems to want to be involved this time so I will either do a gender revel (which I have never done) and be done at that or I will do a get together this summer.
  • It's up to you. This is baby #3 for me and I will be having some kind of something, probably a bbq. Hang out with family and friends. If people bring something, great; if not, then we still can have tons of laughs! We have absolutely nothing being that the kids are each 6 years apart, including the new baby (lol we did quite a job keeping the 6 year tend going). A 12 y/o, 6 y/o & newborn = I can't wait!
  • MrsT05MrsT05 member
    edited February 2015
    My MIL gave me a brunch for #2 since I was having a boy. People brought clothes & diapers & it was only immediate family...and I did not do a registry. My son will be 6 when #3 arrives. We were done having kids & got rid of everything a few years ago. So for us, this is like starting with #1. My MIL and some co-workers have already mentioned showers. I personally feel kind of weird about it! I know I need lots of stuff, but that's my own issue.
  • My cousin has a sip n' see for her third daughter, and I thought it was cool until I realized they registered. Seemed very gift-grabby. I initially loved the idea of going to see the baby after she was born and visit, but was turned off by the expectation to buy a gift when they had showers for their first two daughters. I bought a gift anyway, because that's what you do, but its stuck out in my mind as a little greedy. 

    I do think family can be a little different. Despite the number of babies, family always seems to want to bring something (which is very sweet). I guess I would think about what the intention is. Is it to get your husband's family together and involved because they missed out last time? If so, it does seem like a shower may be totally acceptable, and a lot of fun for that group. I guess I would just caution you to tread carefully if you are inviting friends who have been to your previous showers. 

    Congratulations on the baby! I'm a third child and think they are the best ;) 
  • No one was invite to the others. My mom's side was it they never let anyone else come. They we even kinda mad when I had my son's party at my house and invited everyone because it wasn't done their way at their house and they feel it's awkward to invite everyone since the family's don't know eachother well because my family refuses to invite everyone. So besides the 5 girls in my mom's close family no one else has ever been to a baby shower for me/the babies.
  • I really think this varies by region so much! I have been to several showers for STMs and never thought they were tacky or gift grabby. All my friends and family have had second showers. Maybe I just know a bunch of tacky, greedy women, haha.
    Seriously though, I don't see the big deal if someone wants to give you a shower, sprinkle, BBQ, whatever you want to call it.
    :)
  • I'm sure my mom and sister will have something for my #3...it will most likely be a BaByQ/swimming party bc we haven't had a summer baby before!!! All of my moms grand babies are in jan/feb..and our family (my moms side cousins) gets together monthly so it isn't any different than normal! Do what you want to do! Everyone LOVES to celebrate a new miracle!
  • Well, it sounds to me like your husband's family would love the opportunity to celebrate this baby. I say go for it!! 
  • There is nothing wrong with having a Sprinkle. We lost my son last October and my friends are throwing a Sprinkle to celebrate. You don't have to ask for gifts or anything. ...just ask for people to celebrate with you. If anyone doesn't like it they can get over it. I feel like every child should be celebrated.
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  • It depends on your friends and family I suppose. In the area I live in it isn't strange for people to have baby showers for multiple kids. But honestly, I'm seeing a lot of comments on this thread about "we got rid of all the baby stuff from our first" and that is very gift grabby. It's not other people's responsibility to provide for your child. I don't see anything wrong with celebrating and no doubt people will give gifts, that's just what they do, but please don't expect things. That's just rude.
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  • I am generally a firm believer in only having a shower for the first (maybe second if diff sexes) but I am also a firm believer that a celebration is necessary. If you dont need supplies a fun thing to do would be to ask everyone to just bring a book with a personalized message inside. You could make it more of a gender reveal celebration or after the baby is born do a naming celebration where everyone can actually meet the new arrival.
  • This is my 5th and last baby. Only time I had a baby shower is with my first.This time we are going a gender reveal party.A get together for us the celebrate us having our last baby.
  • Honestly, I think it is tacky to have one for a third baby unless there is a huge age gap.  I think it may be a regional thing though, some people say it is common with their friends to have one for every baby.  I would not for a third and I definitely wouldn't throw it for myself.

    I agree. My brother got his gf,who had two girls under 5, pregnant and my sister wanted to throw something small, mainly for my brother, because it was his first baby. So she told the gf she could invite ten super close family/friends since she had already had two previous showers with her girls. Well she had a fit, argued up and down with my sister about it, and ended up having her sister throw her a big, third baby shower that I didn't even go to. Our family is from NJ and hers is from FL. We believe in having one unless there's a big age gap or something. My sister had four kids and had two showers because her second baby was 7 years after her daughter and it was a boy. My sister in law had one for her first dd and we had a coed cookout when she got pregnant with my brother's first. I plan on having one and only one. My theory is to assume no one is going to come so you have to make sure you can get the essentials yourself.
  • Heck once the kid is born people will have birthday parties for the kid annually and people have to bring gifts to that too. The way I see it it takes a village to raise a child, a little gift giving never hurt nobody. Go for it!!
  • Every baby should be celebrated. It's not about the gifts whether it's your 1st or 3rd. That's tacky. But celebrate the baby and mommy. For friends lately we've been doing a group gift for the mom instead with a token gift for baby. Everyone brings a gift for the baby when it's born as it is. So mom gets a spa certificate and we all enjoy a dinner together before mom to be gets busy and tired with the new one.

    As for the Meet the Baby, that was the plan with my first child as I didn't want a shower that some wanted to host for me but delivery was bad, recovery was harsh, I was tired and I didn't want a lot of people all around him at one time as he started easily so we never had one. I know that's not the case for everyone but it happens.
    Me: 32, DH: 33
    DS #1: April 2010
    DS #2: July 2015 (preemie born at 31 weeks) - our little miracle conceived through ART - unexplained secondary infertility/adenomyosis
  • Every baby deserves to be celebrated. But a "shower" isn't the correct term. If you want to just celebrate then throw a little party when you find out the gender. If someone wants to bring a gift then tell to being diapers. People may still get stuff like cute clothes without asking so let 'em but be sure to include on invites that gifts aren't necessary.
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • I married into a huge Latino family and they throw a party for every baby haha! This is # 1 for me but my husband's aunt is pregnant with # 3 and her mom is throwing her a party. We're very laid back though and don't like all eyes on us, so my MIL and best friend are throwing us a co-ed BaBy-Q just so we can celebrate baby and not make a huge ordeal out of it, just burgers and lots of pictures and cake and of course beer for the boys. If people want to bring gifts, they're requesting unwrapped gifts because there is no way we're spending two hours unwrapping a bunch of gifts and cleaning up all that paper junk haha. To each his own....Enjoy!
  • I think it totally differs by region and family. Where I'm from its super tacky to have a baby shower after the first. 2 of my friends just had #2 one did a full out shower with registry and everything and it seemed greedy and unnecessary to me. The other did a diaper party bbq and provided food and beer and just asked ppl to bring diapers. . No registry. I thought that was appropriate but do what you feel is right. If it's truly to just celebrate the baby I'd do some kind of "meet the baby" party afterwards with no registry
  • I don't care how many babies you've had or what age gap there is or what stuff you have or don't have...baby showers now are to celebrate the current pregnancy, the current baby! People create registries for people who use them because those people want to get something they need or want. Other people don't even look at the registry and buy what they want. I don't think you shouldn't celebrate each pregnancy and child just because people think you're "gift grabby". I love baby events, no matter what you call it! I love getting to buy cute outfits and remember when my babies were that little!
  • My friend had a diaper party! Which I thought b was great, but it was initiated by another friend. Have your celebration that's totally fine but I think a full on baby shower might be a little strange unless someone offers to throw one for you.
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