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July 2015 Moms
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hows your hubby/ significant other?

mkomosa2mkomosa2 member
in July 2015 Moms
Okay my husband has always been super needy and yes I am that wife that waits on him hand and foot. ... I set myself up for this I know... anyway I am so annoyed that I am getting very little sympathy or acknowledgment. He complaints his back hurt I offer a message if I complain he ignores me. Im about to go off on him because everything I bring up about getting ready for baby he tells me we have plenty of time. So ive taken painting into my own hands and of course AS SOON as I offer to paint myself he says ok I will set you up next week.


Wtf.

Side note I dont work. He is self employed and works alot. So thats why I am the caregiver. ... what gives though and what should I do to get alittle bit of compassion.
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Re: hows your hubby/ significant other?

  • claudia3059claudia3059 member
    I could have written this post myself! I'm currently unemployed and my husband keeps telling me I have waaaaaay too much time on my hands. I asked him about day care the other day and I thought he was going to bite my head off. He kept telling me how ridiculous it was I was even thinking about daycare right now.

    When I complain about being tired or achy he ignores me. Then he'll go off for 20 mins about his crappy time at the gym or his sore knee. But the thing that has been bothering me the most is he doesn't seem to care when I tell him the baby is moving. He just nods and goes back to what he was doing. It's those times I get really frustrated.

    I'm hoping it's all the crappy weather we have been having in the northeast because I've just about had it with him!
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  • smccall3838smccall3838 member
    I feel for us. I don't wait on DH hand and foot, but most of us do some waiting on our SO. I have gone on strike before, refusing to do the dishes, laundry, trash, general up keep of the house. That passive-aggressiveness only works sometime in my household. I had to honestly talk to others and figure out what I needed to do. I'm a mental health therapist and don't have all the answers. I requested a house meeting to discuss these very concerns. Although it hasn't happened yet hubby has been putting his clothes in the hamper, keeping the bathroom clean, and just being fair.
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  • mkomosa2mkomosa2 member
    I am trying to start not giving a shit now... sp that its easier when the baby comes. If he doesnt take time off or start helping out Ill be his worst nightmare.
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  • mkomosa2mkomosa2 member
    Ive ranted some. Ive convinced him to take his dirty shoes off at the door... and bring his plates into the kitchen... shut the shower door so it doesnt leave a puddle on the floor... little stupid things. I have high hopes he will step up and at least take care of his daughter when he is home (which isnt often) some i dont necessarily want him taking over chores but if he could avoid purposely making more work for me that would be perfect.
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  • LuzGeeTeeLuzGeeTee member
    Before I was pregnant I would constantly complain to my husband that he would not do his part around the house. Since we found out I was pregnant things have changed dramatically. He no longer complains to me about work or being tired because he understands that I have a lot more on my plate in addition to the pregnancy. We are both salaried in our respective jobs but as an attorney I spend about 12 hours at the office every day, if not running from one court to the next, at the office making sure my girls get the work out. I stil somehow manage twice a week to go to the gym to keep active. 

    When I get home he has done all the dishes and picked up after our 3 dogs. I have never been very "housewifey" (if you want to call it that) since I don't cook, etc. But I do see him stepping up now and caring for me and the baby more than ever. He makes sure I sleep enough, get all the water possible, etc. Its like he's already practicing taking care of our baby.

    I suggest you talk to your husband. He has to understand that this is a tough time for us. And not just physically but emotionally as well. I think at this point we are all worried on top of everything else we do that we keep the baby healthy inside of us. Plus he should probably start realizing this now before he gets a rude awakening once the baby gets here.
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  • CkorinesCkorines member
    I'm sorry ladies. That stinks! My husband is my king, and he knows it! But since we've been expecting our second daughter he doesn't want me vacuuming, cleaning bathrooms, or bending over at bath time for our 3 year old! I LOVE it! I still do all of the cooking and most of the cleaning, but I enjoy doing that stuff. (I work full time too!) but it's nice to feel like he "gets it". Yesterday, he surprised me by setting up the crib without me having to ask him to do it. I cried hysterically I was so happy! I think it's because we recently lost our second baby and he feels so grateful for this healthy pregnancy. Either way, I'm enjoying the fact that I don't have to scrub and toilets till July! Good luck ladies, try talking to your men about how you feel. Here's hoping they listen.
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  • tmoore1085tmoore1085 member
    My hubby has definitely stepped up since we found out about baby
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  • k3taekok3taeko member
    My hubs has stepped up too. I have been unemployed for the past 2-3 years so I used to do all the cooking and housework plus caring for our two fur babies but over the years hubby has learned to do some things around the house and has helped a lot with cooking, doing his own laundry (they absolutely reek, I don't want to touch or smell it LOL), and taking care of our pups. I obviously care for them while he's at work but when he comes home we let them out together, we take turns feeding them, and he wakes up in the middle of the night if one of them has to go out.
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  • k3taekok3taeko member
    Oh and during that horrible first trimester he tried to do everything for me but let's be honest here, he can't clean a dish to save his life haha so everytime he would "clean" them (really just get rid of the smell for me) I would go back and clean them properly while he was working and if I could even get out of bed.
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  • sweetsmiles418sweetsmiles418 member
    I agree that it is SO important to be open and talk to your hubby before baby comes. I have found that out is best to do this when you are both happy (not when you are super frustrated with him) because then you can have a level-headed convo as equals. Pregnancy is tough on our bodies and extremely tiring. Athough they will never fully understand, it's helpful to get them on the same page - in tune with what you need and how you feel - during this important time.
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  • qtjo5qtjo5 member
    I have been blessed w an amazing husband who is going to be a greag dad. We both work full time and since I feel great w my pregnancy, sometimes I forget I shouldn't be doing some things around the house. He is quick to check me and jump in when he thinks I am doing too much. It is a true blessing and I thank his parents all the time for raising such an wonderful man.
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  • CkorinesCkorines member
    qtjo5 said:

    I have been blessed w an amazing husband who is going to be a greag dad. We both work full time and since I feel great w my pregnancy, sometimes I forget I shouldn't be doing some things around the house. He is quick to check me and jump in when he thinks I am doing too much. It is a true blessing and I thank his parents all the time for raising such an wonderful man.

    That is so beautiful!
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  • rock2blurock2blu member
    My fiance wasn't to convinced on treating me any different until he saw his little girl at the ultrasound. Now he looks at me like I'm giving him the best thing in the world, but he didn't turn into a perfect man overnight.
    Good luck ladies.
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  • chrissy21825chrissy21825 member
    I am truly blessed! My DH has been amazing. He has really stepped up. Back rubs every night, & if I want something I get it. Im gonna miss being this spoiled when I'm not pregnant!
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  • Heather042188Heather042188 member
    I feel lucky too! I just can't help but wonder what it's going to be like afterwards lol! When the baby's here, he's gonna say "Momma who?!" But that's okay, I'm just happy he's loving and caring and I hope our little babe is spoiled with his affection!
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  • MandMBaby15MandMBaby15 member
    Sorry to hear. My bf has stepped up and done all the cooking and cleaning since I became pregnant. I had a horrible 1st trimester and couldn't stand the smell of food cook and he has been super understanding. He will even get up to go downstairs to get me water. Now that I'm feeling better, I been helping out more so it's more fair. However, when he was doing all the cleaning, I had issues with how it was done... I like things a certain way. One of the best thing we did was we got a house cleaner. She comes once a month the three hours to deep cleaned. I highly recommend this, it saves us, me from sounding ungrateful when he doesn't do the task as throughly as I would.
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  • Chellz0684Chellz0684 member
    I don't have a problem with mine not cleaning or wanting me to wait on him hand & foot. This is a little off topic. He is very affectionate. So if im not into hugging him or im staying to myself he thinks im ignoring him. And ask if I still Love him alot. Thinking I've could have possibly changed over night or something . The other thing is he isn't as careful as i'd thought he'd be of my growing belly. He often pulls me down top of him while he's laying down. Today he ran up and picked me up squeezing me tight. My legs were straddling his waste or I would have fell. I'm constantly reminding him to be careful of my stomach.
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