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September 2015 Moms
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Constantly Pressured

cvweistcvweist member
edited February 2015 in September 2015 Moms
Ladies, at the end of the road of my marriage I feel so pressured by much around me. I can't even be on social media like Instagram. All the lovely fit women that live in the gym. The dedication is beautiful. Good for them. But I guess my feelings are hurt because my soon to be ex recently told me he likes fit women. One of the reasons he doesn't want me is that. I am not a "gym rat". Keep in mind I have never been overweight. I maintained well but didn't live in the gym. My feelings are so hurt because it's like asshole u never complained about it all these years. I found out of course he has done things behind my back but why is it that I can't function and he is just going on his merry way?!! He has an IG and all it was was him talking to other females and boasting how he needed a beautiful gym partner. I wanted to scream!
During the pregnancy I found myself pressured to be in the gym daily and do all this stuff and he's not even aroundanymore.I was on the treadmill yesterday trying to run my 2 mile like I used to when I was 8 weeks and before pregnant and I continuously kept getting so dizzy but I didn't stop until I almost fell off. I cried because I feel so abandoned like I was never good enough. I know I am not living right. I am stuck.
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Re: Constantly Pressured

  • Family2408Family2408 member
    Bless your heart u need to do what's best for u and baby hugs and prayers
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  • cvweistcvweist member
    @Family2408‌ I sure am trying. It's an extremely difficult time for me and it's like each day I try to move on for me something else is brought to my attention. :( I just Wana be happy.
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  • Family2408Family2408 member
    I hear u I take depression medicine have been for years I read your post my sister in law was in a marriage like that she left so for sake of your health and baby I would go to a woman's shelter or a family member when I get a lot of negative I shut down
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  • twinamatotwinamato member
    Lose that loser!!! He has other intentions and you do not need negativity like that right now!! He says this all while you're pregnant??? Ughhhh sorry you are going through this!! I know it is easier said than done, but sounds like he needs to take a hike!!!
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  • cvweistcvweist member
    @twinamato‌ All while pregnant. He said this and other things that just blew my damn mind. In my head I'm like this must be how women end up on Snapped. Sucks to think but hey. Thank yall for yall support. I can't lie, this struggle is daily.
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  • twinamatotwinamato member
    :( hope you have some friends to talk to... this isn't something I would want to go through alone.  Have you said anything to him about his sneakiness??
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  • cvweistcvweist member
    @twinamato‌ Oh yes. He could care less. His mentality is he does not care. What happened before happened. I am not the only one now. He will divorce me and it does not matter that I am pregnant because he does not want to be stuck with someone he doesn't care about. He wants to be free to be with whoever he wants whenever. I was like nothing I did through all these years gives me value, do I mean nothing. He said he didn't care. He's in the Army and has been doing his thing since YEAR ONE. We have had our ups and downs but shit!Really. I'm in NY and he's training in Missouri. I can count on my hands how many times he came to visit me and my tummy. None. He just doesn't care.
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  • jenkundigjenkundig member
    That is the worst reason to leave someone!!!! You have done nothing wrong - he's an asshole!
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  • cvweistcvweist member
    @jenkundig‌ :( Thank you.
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  • twinamatotwinamato member
    I am so sorry... you have us for the venting.  Don't stress yourself out too much (for the sake of your baby!!!)!  
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  • JosefinKJosefinK member
    It sounds like his dedication to you has not been there for a long time, maybe never, whilst you have done everything you can to make it work. That is probably why it feels like he is swiftly moving on and you are left struggling to come to terms with him being an arse. I have been in a similar situation, where he made it clear he chose someone else, it broke my heart and my spirit. My best advice is to find someone to talk to, a levelheaded friend who is good at listening and not butting in with her own opinions, or even a therapist. You need to talk all that confusion, anger and sadness out of yourself. It's like dealing with grief. I still have moments when my experience comes flooding back to me, but I try to think that I'm so much better off without him. I hope you get through it! Hugs!
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  • cvweistcvweist member
    @JosefinK‌ Sigh. The reality. Time heals all right? Thank you for your support. >:D<
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  • Cupcakequeen1000Cupcakequeen1000 member
    edited February 2015
    Oh that makes me so mad! I would have your baby... work out get way more fit than HIM then he has to deal with you because of the baby and rub that in his face that you are a HOTT mom and dont think it will be hard to find a good man later because you will! Just focus on the sweey baby you will be having then get in shape after that... working out it great during pregnancy just dont over due it i would also suggest prenatal yoga. And block his butt on instagram so you dont have to see his comments to other women and he cant see your stuff that will get at him to. So sorry girly stay strong!!!!
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  • LittleElisabethLittleElisabeth member
    From my distress I called upon the Lord*; the Lord* answered me and set me in a large place.
    The Lord* is for me; I will not fear; what can man do to me?
    The Lord* is for me among those who help me; therefore I will look with satisfaction on those who hate me.
    It is better to take refuge in the Lord* than to trust in man.
    It is better to take refuge in the Lord* than to trust in princes.
    Psalm 118:5-9

    *I Am
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  • cvweistcvweist member
    @Cupcakequeen1000‌ thank you. Being in NYC, I have found many places offering prenatal yoga. Though I am a newbie, I look forward to finding one I am comfortable in. I needed a positive outlet and one one that was my choice.
    @LittleElisabeth‌ thank you for your words of faith. I often find myself lost in what's happening and forget to remember who still loves me.
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  • WheresTheGlowWheresTheGlow member
    @cvweist what a dick.....honestly, even if you could get him to stay, would you want that kind of person to be in yours and your baby's life?  He sounds like a waste, and I am sorry, because I know you care for him.  But I would say the same thing to my best friend.  We all hurt for you.  Regardless, you're going to be a great mama and you have a better road ahead now that that jerk is out of the way.  Muscles usually fade in old age, you need a love that will last through that!!  ;)

    BabyFetus Ticker
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  • cvweistcvweist member
    @WheresTheGlow‌ Believe me, I have feelings of disgust not only with him but myself. I know I am better off without this mess. In many ways I am happy it happened now instead of 30 years down the road. Getting through this suck. Thank you bunches. Now I want apple sauce and pretty things. Must get to the mall! <:-P
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  • WheresTheGlowWheresTheGlow member
    Go get that apple sauce and anything that glitters!!!!  

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  • WDDCHWDDCH member
    Never change who you are or lose yourself because you don't fit someone else's opinion. Be YOU.

    I'm sorry he's done this.
    Pregnancy Ticker
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  • cvweistcvweist member
    @WDDCH‌ Thank you. I never thought I would ever try to fit the mold for anyone else. I got caught up. Never again.
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  • Vane8910Vane8910 member
    Omg that makes me so furious! I'm so sorry, you deserve much better than that. I'm going to send many angels your way, to help you get through this hard time. I just can't believe he would intentionally try to hurt you by saying those awful things. He will get what he deserves!
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  • irenejeanirenejean member
    So sorry you're dealing with that, it sounds awful. It sounds like splitting up is the right thing to do, as hard as that will be. You deserve someone who loves you for you, and not someone who makes you feel like you don't deserve him because you're not a gym rat. That's heartless and cruel.
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  • JenLovesDesignJenLovesDesign member
    OMG...anything that man says, you should just know is something mean just to spite you. He's just being mean to get your goat. Do whatever you want. Don't listen to him, cut him out of your life. You should take care of your ego just as much as your physique. You please you, not him.
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  • cvweistcvweist member
    @Vane8910‌ @JenLovesDesign‌ @ijdorweiler‌ >:D< Thank you ladies. Yall don't know how uplifting this little bump community is for me.
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  • Vane8910Vane8910 member
    Anytime sweetie! Stay strong
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  • tigerfish227tigerfish227 member
    I was in a very emotionally abusive marriage for years and I can tell you one thing for sure. This may seem like an abrupt thing to you but they don't make these decisions overnight. His reason for leaving probably has much less to do with your level of fitness and much more to do with his own happiness and self image. My ex husband told me every day that I was fat and ugly even tho at my heaviest I was only about 160-165lbs. Any time he wanted sex he would want me to take care of his needs but would barely touch me and very rarely took care of my needs in return. At one point he even tried to accuse me of using sex as a "bargaining chip" and said that I would only pleasure him if there was something in it for me(which was the biggest load of bullshit ever) he put me down and called me names when he actually would speak to me. Most of the time he would sit at his computer and ignore me all together. After all of this when he finally left I felt free. I look back at it and wonder why I had to be so stubborn and put up with that for so long because deep down I knew that he had made up his mind to leave me probably before we even got married. His attitude showed that he always had the idea that he could just leave if things didn't work out but I was somehow blind to it until after he finally followed thru and walked away. It might not seem like it to you now but him leaving might be one of the best things ever to happen to you. Have faith that you will get thru this. You will be better and stronger for it and your child will have a loving and wonderful mother who is happy and independent. T&Ps to you. Feel free to PM me if you need someone to talk to.
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  • cvweistcvweist member
    @tigerfish227‌ Ugh. I am sorry you went through that. Some of the things you brought up, I remember as clear as yesterday. My blind hope I stayed. I do believe you are right. He made up his mind a long time ago. Thank you for your support and taking the time to read and respond.
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  • indogbeersiveonlyhadoneindogbeersiveonlyhadone member
    I am so sorry you're going through this and especially while you're carrying this mans baby. Some men just can't grow the EFF up!!! I'm a firm believer in Karma and even though you may not be there to witness it, know he will get his in the end. Be strong and just have peace knowing you are better off without that asshole. Stay strong and focus on you and your child now. You are doing something beautiful and wonderful. Never change who you are for a man, if he can't love you for who you are then F him! Seriously! There are men out there that will love every ounce of who you are.
    I say this from experience, I "loved" a man who didn't love me for me and expected me to change who I was for him. That's not love and at the time I was too stupid to realize that. I'm not in an amazing, loving, caring and devoted relationship with a man that loves me for me and would never ask me to change. Even when I'm crazy psycho pregnancy hormone raging. You will find the same and you will find a man that loves your child too. My mom started dating my dad when I was 3, he adopted me a year before they got married, I even walked my mom down the isle. I'm only sharing this with you so maybe you can find some peace in knowing that this pain too shall pass, and you will find someone who will love you for you. You're in my thoughts and prayers.
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  • indogbeersiveonlyhadoneindogbeersiveonlyhadone member
    Edit: I had a horrible typo!!! I meant to type I am NOW IN a loving..... Relationship.
    I'm mobile :((
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  • LoveLee85LoveLee85 member
    What a dick...I'm so sorry.

    You can take the high road and relax, because Karma's a bitch and she'll take the low road for you. ;)
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  • cvweistcvweist member
    @indogbeersiveonlyhadone‌ I am glad you shared that. It's good to know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. He doesn't speak to me much now and when he does I'm like a buisness transaction. I know this will hurt but all of yall are right. I DONT deserve this.
    @LoveLee85‌ I won't lie I have often caught myself asking when will it catch up!!! I am suffering and he's having the time of his life. :)
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