Bink or no bink?

jess3lynn10 · February 2015

The other day my mother and I were at babies r us and when I told her that I didn't want my son to have binkies she flipped out on me saying that there is nothing I can do about that. She also told me that he will have a binki when he is in the hospital cause the nurses don't care. Mind you, she has been real negative this whole pregnancy and I'm 28 weeks.

As a second time mother, I realize that every child is different but l, if I don't want them to give him a binki, don't I have the day in that?!

Are you giving your child a binki or are you gonna wait and see if it's something that your child can't live without?

gherkins · February 2015

DH and I are going to wait and see, but I don't see why that's something to make a big deal about! I would have told my mom that when she has her own babies she can make those decisions........oh wait, she already did.
The hospital I will deliver at has a policy not to give pacifiers unless requested by the parent. One of my good friends did without a pacifier for her first, and he is just fine. She did have trouble with thumb sucking but that didn't last long.
DH and I will probably use one, but I would like to try to go without to start with. Especially when we're still working on BFing.

cpage2211 · February 2015

I told my hubby I wasn't a fan and didn't want the baby to have one. He thought nothing wrong with having one. My first 2 weren't really fans of them, thankfully. I think you have all the say in the world if you want your child to have one or not. Stick to your guns and don't let anyone tell you you're wrong! The baby doesn't come out knowing about them, we teach them!

rae4512 · February 2015

I didn't offer dd a bink until she was a few weeks old. I wanted to make sure breastfeeding was established first. By the time I offered it to her she did not want it all. Sometimes I wished she would have taken one. Like when they are just fussy for no reason and need that comfort. But then I would hear my friends talk about how they would have to go into the nursery several times a night to put the bink back in bc they weren't old enough to do it themselves, and I was happy I didn't have to go through that. Dd never became a thumb sucker either so it was nice not having to break her of it. I'll probably do the same with this baby and offer it after a few weeks and see if he wants it or not.

beaseg · February 2015

OMG. Sounds like my mother. No, she can back off.

If you don't want to give your kid one, then don't give him/her one. I nursed, so I didn't offer one to my daughter and I made sure that she roomed in with us the entire time in the hospital and never left our side. When they wanted to give her one (for her shot/heel prick) I just said no, and they offered her a syringe with a couple drops of sweet-ease in it instead. Worked like a dream- she was happy licking away at the sugar water and didn't even notice the pain.

She hated the car and it was stressful for me so around 3 months I offered her one. By that time, she was great at nursing and preferred what mom had to the paci. So even in situations when I couldn't nurse her (like driving), she would just cry til we got to a place where I could nurse or she fell asleep. Wasn't ideal, but hey- she was an infant and they cry. And we loved that we never had to break that habit for her. So I say- do what you want. You don't get A say- you and dad get ALL the say.

sherilb100 · February 2015

No bink one less habbit u have to break when they get older

marthaudani · February 2015

My daughter had one and when I tried to take it away when she got older my MIL kept buying her new ones. I would throw them away and she would buy another one and give it to her even when I asked her nicely not to.

Then her dad started buying them. I kept tossing them but they would magically appear in the diaper bag when I picked her up from MIL's house after work.

I started taking them from her at about 7 months. She was almost 2 by the time they got the message.

Thankfully, i'm no longer married to her dad.

curlylaura617 · February 2015

I am a fan of the pacifier, but also didn't give one to my girls until they were a few weeks old and nursing okay.

I was a thumb-sucker and can remember my parents trying lots of things to get me to stop. I decided it was easier to take away a pacifier than it is to break thumb-sucking. My friend who had her son a year before I had my first was very anti-pacifier and now her 7 year old still sucks his thumb at night despite her many attempts to break him of that.

Every kid and parent is different.

padleylynn · February 2015

We gave one to DD when we realized she would suck on her hand anyways, making it red and raw. At 18 months we told her that if she put them all by her bed the binkie fairy will come and take them but leave her a big girl gift. Worked out really well. Just an FYI, I have also read some information about binkies possible helping to reduce SIDS. I'm gonna look more into it, but I thought I would put that out there.

BrooksManor · February 2015

Paci are an option not a requirement. My mom warned me how I only liked one style of paci and his mom never used them. I'm going to take the hospital one home and see how that goes but that'll be it. If it works out I'll buy a couple more like it. But no one not even my mom is going to tell me what I have to do to my child.

TBsquared · February 2015

we didnt at first with my daughter because I was breastfeeding and was told it may not be a good idea. then when she was crying for no reason we tried it. she hated it....never ever took a soother...and sometimes i really wish she would have. but then again, i have friends with 3 year olds that are still trying to break the soother habit, so im glad i never had to deal with that.

This time around, we have one again, and will try it when were desperate, but id rather not have my child become addicted to the soother. If we do give it and she ends up liking it, we will be getting her off it before she turns one because its way less of a struggle the younger they are.

mrshall1027 · February 2015

I think it will just depend on how our baby is. H and I just attended a breastfeeding class last night and the lactation consultant said that it's really our preference and what we think is best for the baby. She did advise to try and find a pacifier that is most like your nipple if you are breastfeeding. The ones they give in the hospital are useless because they aren't long enough and the baby isn't really getting that same feeling as when breastfeeding.

She gave a tip that I thought was really good. She said that you can actually just use your pinky in place of a pacifier and just have it in their mouth far enough to where you are touching the soft part of the roof of their mouth with your finger side up, not nail. This would be perfect for dad to do if mom needs to step away and baby starts to get fussy.

marym94 · February 2015

rae4512 said:

I didn't offer dd a bink until she was a few weeks old. I wanted to make sure breastfeeding was established first. By the time I offered it to her she did not want it all. Sometimes I wished she would have taken one. Like when they are just fussy for no reason and need that comfort. But then I would hear my friends talk about how they would have to go into the nursery several times a night to put the bink back in bc they weren't old enough to do it themselves, and I was happy I didn't have to go through that. Dd never became a thumb sucker either so it was nice not having to break her of it. I'll probably do the same with this baby and offer it after a few weeks and see if he wants it or not.

this exactly!

PutMeintheZoo · February 2015

With my son, I didn't want him to have a binki / pacifier so that we could entice him to breastfeed easier. He never got attached to one and would spit them out. However... he became a die-hard thumb-sucker. It's a Catch-22 situation - and you may just have to see what baby prefers.

Even though no pacifier may have helped him breastfeed a tiny bit more... it would have been nice to have something to keep him occupied / help with the fussiness in the very beginning.

Just follow your gut and do what you feel is right.

lola2bee · February 2015

Ditto all the ladies who say see what your baby prefers. Some babies have strong oral stimulation needs and others not really. I learned with my first child never say never! ;-)

mnbando · February 2015

I was super against pacifiers with my first, but then one night at midnight when DS wouldn't sleep, I sent my husband to the grocery store to get one. It helped us get more sleep and it wasn't that terrible to break DS of the habit. I was a thumbsucker until I was six.... so there's that

I'll probably have one around just in case this time, because when you're exhausted the pacifier doesn't seem so terrible anymore

gamergirl83 · February 2015

My boys never took to them I often wished they would however but they didn't even suck their thumbs. Not really sure why but that's my experience.

CateOfChicago · February 2015

If not, be sure to tell the nurses. I was undecided and didn't say anything. Dd had a binky every time the nurse brought her in. We used it when she was fussy but it wasn't all the time. I never let her sleep with until one night at 1 year when she kept waking up ( probably teething). I let her keep it and she slept 2 hours later. I now let her sleep with it and she sleeps late most days and takes 3 hour naps with it. Total selfish mom move but I'm enjoying the extra sleep and long break. It doesn't stay in her mouth. She just finds it and falls back to sleep, which is lovely.

shinderlea · February 2015

Both of my kids had one for the first couple months. Really not that big of deal. It has its pros and cons. It satisfies suck reflex in infants, reduces SIDS to an extent and encourages self soothing. However there are a ton of negative effects the older they get like 6 months plus including increased ear infection and dental issues not to mention the older they get the harder it gets to take it away. Its up to you when to take it away. I dont think there is anything wrong with a little binkie time the first couple months but after they get teeth... Ya. It kills me to see 1 year olds and older with pacifiers stuck in their mouths.

MrsS728 · February 2015

Our little girl is going to be a thumb suckers, so we'd rather her use the Dr. Brown's prevent paci. Even during ultrasounds she LOVES her fingers and thumbs. She was constantly sucking her thumb at 24 weeks. We had trouble getting a picture with her hands away from her face and mouth.

sunnyday016 · February 2015

My daughter never took one, but she sucked her thumb from very early on. She turns 6 next month and still sucks her thumb when she is tired or upset.

My DS took a paci and we took it away for good around 2.5. We tried earlier and it wouldn't work- especially in the car he would just scream and we were so distracted.

Rosie3rd · February 2015

Hospitals here require written consent for dummies/pacifiers and you normally have to provide them yourself. The only exception is premature babies who need dummies to learn to suck. To each their own as far as term babies go. My first never took a dummy or bottle and my second loves his dummy but only at sleep times. And I'll have a couple just in case for this one when they arrive.

supersarah77 · February 2015

OP, I'm surprised your mom is saying this to you when you're a STM! This isn't your first rodeo. Of course you have the say. Did your first get a pacifier forced by nurses in the hospital?

I'm a STM, too, and I didn't offer a pacifier nor a bottle until around a month when breastfeeding was established. Then we did one bottle a day to get her used to being able to eat not just from the breast and to give DH a chance to bond with her through feeding. The pacifier was helpful for soothing for maybe 6-8 weeks and then it stopped helping, and in fact, it would piss her off when we'd try to stick it in her mouth when she cried.

We'll take the same approach with this kid.

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