Anxiety over People Touching Belly

RositaRae · February 2015

Hello! I am almost 9 weeks pregnant with my first. A few close friends/family know we are expecting and one already touched my belly even though I'm not showing yet! I said it made me really uncomfortable and they said they wouldn't do it again.

I have always had weird anxiety with people touching me, especially strangers. I was walking on a crowded street in Vegas and all the people brushing up against me gave me a panic attack. Maybe I wasn't hugged enough as a kid, I don't know..haha.

My question is, how do I get through this pregnancy without people touching my belly? I don't want to be a jerk about it, but I also want people to respect that I don't want to be touched there! I think it's especially rude if it is a stranger. My sister said her belly became a magnet when she was pregnant and I almost got sick thinking about it. Any tips??? I'm really starting to dread the day I start to show and I really should be excited about it!

WheresTheGlow · February 2015

Get the shirt that says "If you didn't put it in here, don't touch it" Or something like that. There's a lot of funny ones out there for people who do not like to be touched.

cmherfi827 · February 2015

I am with you on this! I am 10 weeks 2 days and I don't really know if i'm showing or not because I was a little overweight before pregnancy anyway. That being said, I'm already uncomfortable about my body and the thought of people touching my belly makes me so angry! I don't really know how to approach this without being a jerk. I'm going to ask some of my friends who have had babies recently and ask how they approached it. I'll let you know if I get any good advice! For now, enjoy this T-shirt:

kimberlykh · February 2015

Honestly, don't stress about it until it happens. I found this to be one of those things I heard would happen, and it just didn't. My entire pregnancy, I had one person touch my stomach without asking. And, even in that case it wasn't very intrusive. She just touched it a second, said something cute, and moved on. And I knew her. Never did a stranger touch me or even try to.

rablissful · February 2015

I love the shirts! Another idea is to immediately touch THEIR belly and have things get super awkward and they'll realize how much of an ass they are.

I hate people touching me as well. Luckily I have a bitchy resting face so people don't usually come up to me!

KYmama9286 · February 2015

I wouldn't worry about it- I'm on my 4th pregnancy and I've never had a stranger (or even friend) try and touch my belly. The only people other than my DH and kids who have touched my belly were my SIL's but we're a pretty touchy feely group so it wasn't surprising or bothersome. I'm honestly always surprised when I hear that people have random strangers touch them- so bizarre!

sherbear82 · February 2015

Last night I said to my family, "I wonder who the first person to touch my stomach will be. I feel sorry for that person."

kjs08 · February 2015

I saw a shirt that said 'My body, no touchy" and I had to giggle. I've never touched my pregnant friends bellies unless they asked me if I wanted to feel the baby kick.I never touched my sister's belly during her two pregnancies and she was family. I'm fine with a pat on the back or a shoulder touch, but I never touch others without their permission. I'm a personal trainer so I'm used to having to ask if a client minds me touching them, but I tell them where and what I'm going to do. If they say no, I respect their wishes. Too bad others don't have the same respect for you.

SweetnSassy23 · February 2015

Try this: "I'm not a very touchy feely person. Please respect my personal space."

JosefinK · February 2015

I've been thinking a lot about this as well, really don't like being touched and not sure if I can be responsible for my actions if I get random belly touches. I'm hoping I will be brave enough to immediately touch their belly to make them realise how intrusive it is!

cjstats87 · February 2015

I'm jealous of seasoned mommas who haven't been touched by strangers! It happened ALL THE FREAKING TIME!!! Ugh! I tend to have people tell me their life stories in stores so I should have known! With my second it happened the most...I learned to swoop my hand under theirs on my belly and give an uncomfortable look which typically helped but still if it happened I would just give a smirk and touch their shoulder...SUPER awkward! And I'd get a good laugh later! Lol!

mdm173 · February 2015

I love the idea of just rubbing their belly back! It happened a couple times during my first pregnancy. I just gave a really weird look and took a step back. They got the point.

RositaRae · February 2015

It really bothers me how people think they can just do it without asking. I also have friends and family with babies and strangers stop them occasionally. They sometimes even hold the babies hands, feets, cheeks, whatever and gush over them. I don't know you or where your hands have been! I'm gonna be a crazy mama bear if people try touching the baby once it's born too. My DH said maybe our baby won't be cute and no one will want to touch it...lol!

MrsPyrowiz · February 2015

I love physical contact but the idea of a stranger touching my belly really irks me. If it ever happens, I'm gonna say I'm not pregnant and see how it plays out.

missmandah · February 2015

Let's just say I want this sweater.

missmandah · February 2015

...

Jeanne & Dustin · February 2015

Glad I'm not the only one! I've always hated when ppl touch me, like the lingering hug, or the hand on my arm while they talk. I've made it pretty clear to everyone who knows me that I hate to be touched, so I'm hoping they will all remember that when we announce and I begin to show! Otherwise they'll end up with a broken hand or arm, especially a stranger!

adtaylor2015 · February 2015

The belly touching doesn't bother me?? Guess I'm in the minority, lol.

pmercedes · February 2015

@adtaylor2015‌ doesn't bother me either lol . My fiancée is mixed race and international and I've lived abroad in Central America and I'm used to the touchy feely culture . For me it is what it is. It's honestly the LEAST of my worries lol . I'm American however I feel like because I went to international school I have a more open mindset to this . For some it's a big deal and that's perfectly fine Id get a shirt like the other lady said lol . But Americans to me are just extra sensitive in every regard. Just the culture here . But I agree speak up If you don't want it its your body

adtaylor2015 · February 2015

@pmercedes‌ I consider myself open minded too. I'm generally pretty laid back. I think it's a good quality!

But yes if you aren't comfortable with it, then by all means, say something.

bpv101283 · February 2015

Someone did it to me and I quickly tussled their hair, and not very nicely either. They said ok I get it, I should have asked. It was the most intrusive thing, I can't believe someone would do that! I said don't even ask you weirdo.

crivera919 · February 2015

I'll be a jerk. I just tell them, "You touch me I'll kill you." I hate germs.

mrscate88 · February 2015

I don't want strangers touching my belly, but would tolerate it on a case-by-case basis. If a sweet little old lady touches my belly, I'm going to let it slide. If a middle-aged stranger I don't know touches me, I will ask them to stop. My family and friends can touch it any time they want! They love baby already and I'm happy to share the joy (but this is also baby # 1 so maybe I'd get sick of it later on!)

sugarmagn0lia · February 2015

I'm the minority too - I just don't mind that kind of thing one bit. Weirdly though I think I've always been one of those people that random strangers or acquaintances think it's perfectly alright to just touch, even pre-baby. Maybe that means I'm just used to it, ha! But, like previous posters said, there are a lot of cutesy shirts that request that people not touch. I think some of them are a bit abrasive, but definitely not all

I agree with others though, just try not to stress. I really do think it's one of those things you hear about more than actually encounter. And if you start to see it coming, maybe just try to subtle-y maneuver away? Tuck yourself behind your fella or hold something in front of you maybe, at the very least as a security thing for yourself.

excited2bmommy09 · February 2015

adtaylor2015 said:

The belly touching doesn't bother me?? Guess I'm in the minority, lol.

Yeah it doesn't bother me either. I worked as a hairstylist for 8 years and after that much up close and personal contact with so many people I think I'm completely desensitized. Right now my family are the only ones constantly touching my stomach and I'm super self conscious because I just feel fat and squishy

tigerfish227 · February 2015

There are certain people that I will probably invite to touch my belly when guppy gets big enough in there to actually feel anything but random strangers need to keep their hands off!! There are even a few family members that if they touch my belly I might go a little haywire about it (a certain aunt that just makes me uncomfortable anyways for example) The way I see it is that if someone wants you to feel their belly then they will ask and if you feel the urge to feel someone's belly you SHOULD ask and not just assume it is OK. I never even touched my sister's belly either time she was pregnant without her invitation or at least asking permission first. I don't get what the draw is for people to touch a random stranger's belly. I would never dream of walking up to some random pregnant woman and touching her belly like it was my right to do so. Just because she is carrying a child doesn't make her not a person with feelings and boundaries. That being said, if I was in a crowded place or something and someone bumped into me or happened to brush against me, totally not a big deal. It happens. It is the deliberate invasion of my boundaries without permission that is a big deal. I don't feel like that is overly sensitive.

BeachBabe22 · February 2015

I never had a stranger try and touch my stomach when I was pregnant.

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