Im hoping to get some advice ladies. We are 40+2 days with baby #2 and can go anytime. Our dilemma is that my husbands parents who are divorced (both remarried) are fabulous and have both looked after DD. Chances are we will be in te hospital a minimum of 2 days if everything goes ok. Theyhave both offered and want to be at our house to look after DD. The problem is is that they hate each other and would be terribly offended if we picked one over the other. My heart is leaning towards one set of grandparents more than the other just because they are closer and are seasoned vets with having other grandkids ( keep to a routine, don't let her get away with anything, bath time/bedtime routines with no problems) and plus they have already altered their next couple of weeks just to be on call for us. The last time we had the other set look after her they were by the door with their jackets on by the time we came in the house/or they just don't keep to a routine (no naps, feeding is off, give-in type) As a STM, I've never been away from her and just don't want to worry while I'm at the hospital. Husband is fine with either or (his parents) I feel like this is such a 1st world problem in the big scheme of things and I feel so lucky to have such involved grandparents but.... Any suggestions on how o handle this one??
I'd pick the ones you want and if the other set is hurt just apologize. You want to feel as secure as possible being away from her so you can focus on bringing the new one into the world. Maybe you could do something special for them, but I don't have any ideas. Personally, I'd have husband handle it. I'd have him ask the set that you want and not mention it to the other set. If it comes up he can handle it and just say that their schedules were already rearranged, it was easy to do, and it wasn't against them. Fact is, only one set can watch her and the other set just has to realize that. In the big scheme of things it doesn't matter and they should be excited to see the new babe.
What the others have said go with the ones you want. I have never been away from DD and she is only 18 months old. I wanted and told DH my parents would be watching her while we are in the hospital because I am more comfortable with that. I know they will stick to a routine and not get overwhelmed or stressed. They also are retired while my in laws are not. Therefore they would stay at our house with DD and not confuse here anymore. I won't worry as much with them staying at our house. You have to go with what you are feeling and not worry about what anyone else thinks.
Pick the set of gparents that will put your mind most at ease. If you can, find something else "super important" to have the other set do so they still feel involved and helpful. I told my MIL straight up that it would be my mom taking care of our toddler for the same reasons you've listed. MIL is now occupied with managing our notification list (Facebook, email, phone) so she feels pretty special to be the one to spread all the exciting news.
Re: In laws help when in labour