Coping with exhaustion

Lilmanx · February 2015

Hey everyone. We've been home with our sweet angel for just over a week now. I've already overcome a lot, including one hell of an infection.

My question is about the lack of sleep. And not for me, but for my husband.

We've been taking 3 hour shifts at night, which, in theory, would give us 6 hours a night. Every night I find myself absorbing any overlap time between shifts for personal care and needs, but it's still really taking its toll on DH. I often give him and extra nap in the morning, but he returns to work in just a couple days and that won't be possible for him.

I worry mostly because when he gets overly tired he gets frustrated, and I know the baby picks up on his tone.

I think my last two months of pregnancy got me used to the broken sleep pattern, so I'm doing ok, but does anyone have advice on how to help my hubby?

DBride2006 · February 2015

What worked well for us in those early days...

I would feed the baby around 8 PM, then hand her off to DH to hold while I slept until she was ready to eat again (usually around 11 PM). That gave me a solid couple hours of sleep. Then, from 11 PM until say 5 AM/6 AM?? (depending on how long I could make it and when DD ate) I'd handle the night shift on my own. Then, I'd feed her and hand her off to DH again after that early morning feeding so I could sleep until she needed to eat again (7-8 AM) so I could get another solid couple hours.

I found this gave DH a decent night's sleep and he was more functional during the day. I would take it easy during the day, snooze when I could, etc. But that only lasted a week or two. Soon the baby will figure her nights out and we'll wake up to feed and she'll go right back down. Then I don't need DH nearly as much!

t8keepr03 · February 2015

While I was on maternity leave with DD I was the only one that got up with her because DH went back to work after a week. I plan on being the only one that gets up with this little one too once DH goes back to work. I actually didn't mind getting up every few hours. I enjoyed the newborn quiet cuddle time. Once I figured out how DD liked to sleep it wasn't too bad. She loved to be swaddled.

anxiousmommy85 · February 2015

I'm the one who gets up with LO here, too. Figure since we're breastfeeding that there's no reason for DH to be awake when I'm the one she wants. It might be something you try for a night and see if it works better for the two of you. He can spell you for a nap in the evening after he comes home.

salbabe79 · February 2015

i actually have hubby sleep on the couch right now since his job includes driving...I don't need the added stress of thinking of him driving sleep deprived. and since i'm breastfeeding there is no need for hubby to get up anyway...unless it is for the two seconds to tuck the big girl back in

alyssamskeens · February 2015

My hubby was off 3wks with me and went back to work today. He is an RN at a local hospital and works 12hr shifts. We discussed this situation months ago. Our agreement is that if he works the next day, I cover all the nightshift duties (and will be similar when I go back to work after maternity leave). So last night, I got up with the baby and let hubby sleep. I'm sure he didn't sleep the best, but he was still able to rest some to prepare for his shift today!!

hawynne · February 2015

My SO is about as worthless as can be when he doesn't get sleep. I'd rather be up with the babes all night than have to deal with TWO babiesthe next day! He did a good job at making sure I had time for a shower ect in the evenings so I'll be expecting the same this time. We also have an agreement that if our toddler wakes or needs something in the night, my husband will tend to him because he already knows what to do.

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