husband left

chale3209 · February 2015

My husband left me and kicked me and my two boys out of the house after choking me. Did the cops take him to jail? No because he blacked his eye and said I did it. Wtf am I going to do?

mrscate88 · February 2015

Wow, I'm sorry to hear that. Sounds like a toxic situation and it's better to stay away from him. Do you have someone you can go stay with? File a police report either way, even if they don't do anything to him. It's good to have record of the incident for future reference. Hang in there

jwebbbber45678 · February 2015

Get as far as possible away from this dangerous man. This sounds very unhealthy for you, your boys and your unborn child. Be strong and know that you and your children deserve better. You may be able to file a restraining order if you contact a lawyer.

Jamilla9 · February 2015

Oh my. Do you have family you are close with? Are you guys safe? I'm so sorry this happened to you.

seifertfish · February 2015

I'm so sorry you are going through this! I hope you have found a safe place to go. Make sure to document everything so that as the pp said you can file a restraining order. Again I'm so sorry!

PregNancyClark · February 2015

He's dangerous. You'll be safer and happier without someone like that. Do you have somewhere to go? Are there women's shelters in your area? The ones in my city are beautiful and very cozy. You need a soft place to land for a while.

barrelocarol · February 2015

Oh I can't even imagine this. I'm so sorry you're experiencing something like this!!

Take care of yourself. Document. Take pictures, if even of nothing. Write down events with dates, times, details...everything. Doesn't seem like much, but he who has the details wins sometimes.

Remember: You are a mommy. Mom's are BORN to survive, if even through garbage like this.

No matter what happens, keep speaking your feelings. Share how hurt you are with close friends. Keep talking about feelings and don't let people distract you by talking about the circumstance.

The important things: Your physical safety and your emotional health. You can preserve both. You will have a superstar chance at keeping your head up if you speak feelings and keep that kind of communication up and going. It's the only way to heal.

For now, you take every single thing you can get. Those boys are SO lucky to have you as a mommy!! You'll teach them the best things in life, including how to be a little prince for their partner, if they choose this someday!

Big big hugs to you!!

Truth7788 · February 2015

Just pray I really hope things workout for you. I'm sorry you are going through this..

chale3209 · February 2015

I left after the cops showed up a second time only because he refused to give me my youngest and I didn't want to leave without him. He tried to hold my son so I couldn't get him. He laid him down. I grabbed him and tried getting in my car and he straight held us hostage. Luckily my sister was there this time and witnessed everything. They still didn't take him to jail. I'm at a friend's right now. And I can stay here a little while. I just feel like I'm putting them out. And there is a shelter. I haven't looked at it. I'm going first thing Monday to the da to file an emergency protective order like the cop told me to do. Idk what I'd do if I lost my son to him...he keeps threatening it...I just want to be left alone by him.

Cnesvig32 · February 2015

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I hope you can find a safe place to be and far from him! Sending a prayer your way.

chale3209 · February 2015

He started talking suicidal. So at least I know for sure my kids won't be taken by him. Thank you for all the support ladies. I have no one here anymore because he made me distance myself from everyone. I'll never feel safe here.

JosefinK · February 2015

I can't even imagine having to go through this...! I do hope you and the kids are safe and everything works out in your favour. Long distance hugs!!

jessababyphoto · February 2015

Do you have family?
I say strip his bank accounts and live off of that! You need to file a restraining order tomorrow and stay somewhere safe

TIARA0322 · February 2015

I'm so sorry this happened to you. That's horrible! Make sure you have a police report detailing your account of events and get a restraining order right away. Stay away from him. I hope you have family and/or friends you can turn to for help until you can get yourself together. Whatever you do, please don't go back. Rarely does abuse go away or get better!
Praying for you! Please be careful and take care of yourself, the boys and baby.

TIARA0322 · February 2015

Even though you feel distant from everyone please reach out to them. They should understand you are in an abusive marriage. Also please don't go to a shelter if you have a place that you feel safe. It's safer to be with friends or family.

chale3209 · February 2015

I am at a safe place now. I'm going first thing in the morning trust me. He tried telling me the cops said I'd be lucky to get any kind of visitation with the police report. I'm so over it. I told him since he doesn't want to be married to let me have sole custody and the stuff we agreed I would take. And he refused. So I told him we could just stay married because I honestly don't care to spend my money on expensive attorneys when I know I can get what I need done for less than $150. He wants to play hard ball so whatever. I'll save my money and he can waste his because there's no way any judge in their right mind would give him custody of my children.

Ali+Cee · February 2015

I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope you can get the protective order and hope everything works out for you and your children. That's terrible!

kimberlea_d · February 2015

Praying for you and your kiddos safety.

JenLovesDesign · February 2015

I'm so sorry you are going through this. End all communication with him. Having you distance yourself from people you were close to is how people like him work. Don't worry about it, just call people who you were close to before for support. Even if you have a place to stay, call a shelter so they can get you connected with people who can help you get temporary support etc. from him. My guess is that he is not a lawyer, so any advice in that area that he is dishing out is ridiculous. I agree to a previous poster to take all the money out of any joint accounts that you can. Be at the bank first thing Monday morning,

needaprince · February 2015

Stay strong momma, maybe this is a blessing in disguise. Be sure to follow through with everything on the restraining order. One missed step and they tend to make you jump through hoops to get the order reinstated. Be sure to take pictures of any marks you get on yourself and document everything. Maybe even invest in a voice recorder to have with you should be contact you again. Let him talk suicidal, is a control thing, abuse is always about control. Just keep yourself and those kiddos safe, you're all that matters and you don't need such a toxic man in your life.
Best wishes to you

ScoutLiberty11 · February 2015

Stay strong, so sorry you're dealing with all this

ChristyM87 · February 2015

Sorry lurking from the August board but wanted to chime in. I am a nurse and if he choked you, then I hope you are getting yourself medically evaulated. Many times with all the stress of a situation like yours, your own health may not be the priority but strangulation, even attempted strangulation is serious business. Injury from strangulation can cause damage to your carotid artery which can increase your risk of blood clots, strokes, and breathing difficulties

Please go to the ER or see a doctor, especially if you are having any difficulty breathing, throat or neck pain, voice changes/scratchy voice, or any other symptoms that are out of the ordinary. Symptoms can present as much as a week after the attack. Even if you do not see any visible signs of bruises you could still be at risk

irenejean · February 2015

I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope you and your kids will continue to be safe.

indogbeersiveonlyhadone · February 2015

OM goodness girl! I am so sorry you're going through this. I don't have any better advice then what the ladies have already said.
Better to get yourself out of this relationship now then to have your child in it. Stay strong. You're in my thoughts and prayers

tigerfish227 · February 2015

T&Ps to you and your kids. You are better off without that scumbag! I know things may seem horrible and hopeless right now but ultimately getting out is going to be better for your family. I used to be in an emotionally abusive relationship. It can be hard to get out. You fear what others will think. You are embarrassed to admit that your relationship isn't healthy. For me I was just too stubborn to leave because I was raised believing that you can't just walk away from a marriage because you "made a mistake" or changed your mind. I had myself convinced that it wasn't that bad and that it would get better if I did this or that. Well it didn't. And when he decided to file for divorce I was free!! My stubbornness could have killed me. I realize now how bad it really was and that I should have gotten out much sooner. I'm glad you are out of there and safe. No one deserves to be treated that way and your kids don't need his terrible example. Please take him kicking you out as a good thing because in the end, it will be. You are better off without him and there is no excuse for treating another person that way.

Natachamommy2eight · February 2015

Biggest of Hugs...look up a good church which will take u and your little sweethearts under their wing... but please remember not all churches are Christian... If they follow the Bible they will help u...Please let me know if i can help

apayne0731 · February 2015

Terrible. I hope you and your children are safe and stay safe.

chale3209 · February 2015

I talked to the landlord and he said I could stay in the house. My husband says he's moving to Florida tomorrow. Good riddance. He wants to sign his rights away, but idk if he can voluntarily just to prevent himself from paying child support. I wish there was something I could do. I don't want or need his money. I have everything set up already for a job and after talking to my landlord, I think I will be okay. I will struggle a little but I will bounce back. My kids will be better of without him in their lives. They won't have to see a sad mommy anymore. They won't have to witness abuse and I will do my best to erase what they've already viewed or at least show them its not okay to do to another person.

jennasighed · February 2015

You are doing everything right. You sound very brave and determined. These final events couldn't have come at a better time. His behavior is actually a blessing. It's put in motion a series of events that are guiding you to where you need to be, away from him. Now you can bring your new little miracle into this world in a safe loving home. You can enjoy the rest of your pregnancy away from the abuse. You and all of your babies can start a new wonderful life together!

Jenten810 · February 2015

Stay strong @chale3209‌

MsTeaBlaze · February 2015

Get away stay away, get child support and custody. Good luck

musicmomma00 · February 2015

If you stay in that house, get the locks changed before you move on! Good luck, mama! Stay strong.

Family2408 · February 2015

Hugs and prayers hang in there u are a wonderful mother

vbrannin2010 · February 2015

Sorry! Lurking after loss, but I wanted to let you know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I grew up in a similar situation for years until my mother finally left my father. It's unhealthy for you and your kids. We're all here to support you as I'm sure there are groups in your neck of the woods. You're a strong woman. Don't let a fool bring you down. You deserve better. My mother went from not knowing how to drive, or having a job, to becoming successful in all aspects of life. Let your children be your strength and never give up. It might seem scary and hard to have an unknown future, but know that it will be a hundred times better than with him in it.
You're showing your boys what strength really looks like.
T&P's going your way, momma!

CEW225 · February 2015

So sorry you are going through this. T&P to you and your kids! Stay strong!

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