Suggested Rules of the Road for our board?

HoosOnFirst · February 2015

Since we don't appear to have any mods, and some new folks joining, I was thinking it might be helpful for us to list out some best practices for our board. Nothing mandatory, but things we think make the board a good experience for all. We could do this by putting each suggestion as one post, then people can "love" the ones they agree with. I'm not looking to start any arguments on the thread, but maybe crowd source some ideas of what we'd like our culture to be like.

We could make sure this gets bumped to page 1 regularly if people like this idea.

HoosOnFirst · February 2015

First idea: it's appreciated by members of you search the boards before posting something. If it's been covered in the prior 1 week by another poster, I recommend adding your question or thoughts to that post instead of creating a new post which could be considered clogging the board.

HoosOnFirst · February 2015

Secondly, there is a separate names board and we do a weekly names thread on this board. While some people will answer name questions, most of us on here don't find it an interesting thread and will redirect you there. We promise to be nice about this if you promise to not take offense if we mention it.

HoosOnFirst · February 2015

Thirdly, if you ask a question that is medical in nature some people may respond with some snark. If you are looking to share information or find others with your medical concern, frame your post that way. If you are instead looking for medical advice or asking something that you should be asking your doctor, be prepared to hear us tell you that!

HoosOnFirst · February 2015

We should respect moms that both are working moms and SAHMs. But as a poster recognize that we all are going to be sensitive about our particular situations and have our corners to protect when these things come up in threads. We might respond emotionally sometimes and that is ok.

ElRuby · February 2015

hoodoll82 said:
Secondly, there is a separate names board. While some people will answer name questions, most of us on here don't find it an interesting thread and will redirect you there. We promise to be nice about this if you promise to not take offense if we mention it.

I really don't mind the names questions because if I don't want to answer I will scroll... I heard that the names board can be pretty aggressive so I understand why people post here. If it really makes people that angry maybe there can be a weekly names thread to cover all names questions but otherwise I don't see those questions to be particularly annoying.

thepalindromicone · February 2015

Use the daily threads... start GTKYs... don't be afraid to provide some different opinions even if it starts a debate, that's how people get educated... love-tit lots... support one another... gif and meme more!! And PS - QFP means Quoted For Posterity (not Quit F'in Posting)... practice Internet safety (ie don't use your full name or the same user name that leads to your public instagram, twitter, Facebook accounts)

frankengibbs · February 2015

If you ask a question, actually ask a question. Write with clarity and remember that this is not your diary. If you really feel the need to post something AW, make it open so that we can all join in (like FFFC).

frankengibbs · February 2015

Also, can we all agree to label our discussions and questions appropriately?
Ex: One of our threads is labeled "Just Kind of Sad..." and I clicked on it curious to see what it meant and while the OP has some very valid things to say, it's not a subject that I can weigh-in on with any useful experiences or advice and I'm sure the last thing OP wants is a bunch of other posters writing things like "I don't have said problem, but I hope you find relief".

HoosOnFirst · March 2015

Bumping this. Any other good ideas for board decorum?

bbnmama2012 · March 2015

Are we still doing the silence on Thursdays for loss moms?

frankengibbs · March 2015

I still think that we all need to strive for clarity in our threads, including the title. "Help" is not an appropriate way to label a thread.

HoosOnFirst · March 2015

bbnmama2012 said:
Are we still doing the silence on Thursdays for loss moms?

I think we should keep that tradition.

The weekly names thread seems to be catching on, so I'll continue to start that on Mondays if that works for folks?

It seems to work well to have daily threads for symptoms, happy/thankful thoughts and I think anyone should feel free to start those - whomever is up first in the morning

I like Fur Baby Friday so I'll keep the one going too!

MamaBish · March 2015

bbnmama2012 said:
Are we still doing the silence on Thursdays for loss moms?

This was only done on weeks where someone experienced a new loss that week. Of course, we could still do it anyway, that's just how it was done initially.

MrsWiggleWaggle · March 2015

I'd like to maybe make the Thursday candle thread a permanent mainstay. If possible. I will try to post new FFFC/FFFQ's threads on friday. I really do want people to be able to discuss even the mundane or silly/oft repeated questions if they need to but I really hope we can confine that stuff to one place.

Serenamarr · March 2015

As a new participant to posting, even though I have been reading the board for months, I can say that part of the reason why I refrained from participating for so long was that every single thread I would read would end up as an attack on some poor woman who simply miscommunicated something or unintentionally offended someone. I think it has improved a lot, but I think the idea of posting questions and offering one's opinion would be much more inviting if we all didn't have to constantly worry that one wrong word could put us on the receiving end of mean jokes or insults. Rather than belittling or getting angry with people who may not know as much as you, why can't we simply not respond to posts that bother us? That way they will fall down the list and go unnoticed rather than continually jumping back to the top of the list of posts. I think it reflects badly on the community when the first two or three posts on the page occupy those spots due to arguments- it showcases the worst qualities of the group and discourages new participants from wanting to become involved. Just a thought!

Unknown · March 2015

This content has been removed.

HoosOnFirst · March 2015

Agreed! I think poor word choice is a thing we can all fall subject to and I'm hoping we as a board are getting a bit more tolerant of that, myself included. I think a little compassion and assuming best intentions goes a long way. For me what I'm having trouble getting over is people who don't read even the main page before posting and are posting duplicate questions. If someone can't take a minute to do this, then they are not really here to be part of a community in my opinion.

karaelaine1991 · March 2015

hoosonfirst said:
Agreed! I think poor word choice is a thing we can all fall subject to and I'm hoping we as a board are getting a bit more tolerant of that, myself included. I think a little compassion and assuming best intentions goes a long way. For me what I'm having trouble getting over is people who don't read even the main page before posting and are posting duplicate questions. If someone can't take a minute to do this, then they are not really here to be part of a community in my opinion.

I agree. It's difficult to convey tone and clarity over the internet, and I think that leads to a lack of understanding between those who may post regularly on here and are really comfortable with our group's dynamics, and those who may be new to posting and might not be aware of how we are going to interpret/react to what they're saying, especially when it is a duplicate post or something for which an answer can easily be found in another thread - and I agree, if a person really wants to be a part of this community, they should search before they post to avoid these problems. It totally sucks that we can no longer pin a thread with our expectations/guidelines at the top of our forum, I think that would be very helpful in starting to resolve these issues.

That being said, I also think it's important for people keep in mind that this IS the internet. Posts are more than likely to receive both positive and negative responses and, above all, honesty. If a person can't handle an honest, potentially negative response to something they say, then maybe they should reconsider posting on internet forums in the first place. Mutual respect is ideal but unfortunately it's not guaranteed.

ETA: also, disagreement is not the same as disrespect. There has been confusion about this in the past.

annatta79 · March 2015

When someone posts a question that is silly or possibly a troll or just clogging up the board, let someone answer it and then let it go. If people stop responding to those posts, they will drop off the first page and stop getting in the way of actual questions.

annatta79 · March 2015

Check the date of the original post before responding. There was a thread recently that got dug up from over a month prior and the question made sense when initially posted, but not when it was revived so much later. The front page of the board shows you when things were originally created, there generally isn't a need to revive really old threads.

frankengibbs · March 2015

@Serenamarr Agreed, but also, when I say clarity, I mean that we should all strive to make sure that our posts make sense as far as a general grasp of the English language, a title that clearly gives other bumpies an idea of what your thread is about (i.e. "Help" vs "Possible RLP"), and of course, clarity in the body of the thread. There have been entirely too many times where I've read a post and thought "WTF was that?" and I'm sure I'm not alone in that.
Totally not persecuting people for being naïve, but asking that we remember some of our basic English lessons.

karaelaine1991 · March 2015

Bump since we have some newbies today (welcome!!!)

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