Death in the family

CarolineCoady · February 2015

I told my family on Christmas that my husband were expecting our first child. 4 days latter my 26 year-old brother died in a car accident. This was the same day my sister gave birth to her 3rd child on December 29th. My other sister was also expecting her first child that came into this world January 26th. All these great things are happening around me. I just feel like I can't be happy. I also feel like I haven't been a very good mother. I haven't been eating right and lost a lot of weight. I also can't stop crying. Anyone have some suggestions on what I should do?

jessyluscious77 · February 2015

I'm so so sorry you are going through this. I, too, had a recent death in my family. My Daddy passed away just a few weeks ago. He had stage IV cancer and we had just been told it was terminal shortly before his passing. Though you can't really ever prepare for a loved one's passing. The sudden death of your brother must truly be devastating. Grief takes time to heal. I would recommend seeking our a Grief counselor to help you process your feelings. Being that you are pregnant, you must take the initiative and force yourself to eat. I know it's difficult, but, your baby needs you well. Do the best you can and take it day by day. So sorry for your loss. Best wishes to you and baby.

jessandandy09 · February 2015

Sorry you are going through this. I recommend going to see a therapist. Grief is serious and taxing on your system. There is nothing wrong with needing some support and coping tips during such a serious loss.

WDDCH · February 2015

My mom died when I was pregnant with my first. Even though I've been in your shoes I have a hard time finding the right words to say. Everyone handles grief so differently. My mom was terminally ill so her death was prepared for and when the time came she was in so much pain it was partly relief that her suffering was over. An unexpected death, especially of a young person, is devastating. You have my greatest sympathy!

I know this is a bandaid answer but find a therapist who specializes in grief counseling.

It's normal to grieve and to cry. Speaking to a counselor about your brother may help you to organize your thoughts and feelings and get a game plan to make sure you start taking care of yourself and your baby again because that isn't healthy and you really need to make sure you're eating.

It's a terrible loss and I'm so sorry.

Dajart4 · February 2015

The only suggestion I can give is prayer. I believe in God and I truly believe one day I will be with my loved ones again.

Sending prayers your way.

Miz_Liz · February 2015

I am so sorry for your loss! I understand how hard it must be to enjoy all of these happy things going on around you when you just experienced something so unbelievably devastating; however remind yourself that your brother would want you to be happy - all of you. Try to find happy ways to remember him and celebrate his life. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

sailorgal · February 2015

I'm very sorry for your loss

neludelu · February 2015

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine being in your shoes. You should check out some grief counselors in your area.

sconniegrl · February 2015

I am so sorry for your loss. Sending many thoughts and prayers your way.

cowboys2009 · February 2015

No advice, just very sorry for your loss.

Kath1083 · February 2015

I am sorry for your loss.

kinnieloo · February 2015

I'm so sorry! That is so tragic!! My only words of comfort to help you are to think of how your baby is in heaven Before it comes to earth and has a guardian angel watching over it and will always have a guardian angel

abbycjones · February 2015

I think the PP was a little confused...

I'm so sorry for your loss! What a terrible thing to have happen! I agree with other posters that a grief counselor may be of some comfort to you during this time.

It is important that you take care of yourself for the sake of the baby. But know that your body is going to make sure the baby gets everything it needs. So don't worry too much.

kinnieloo · February 2015

abbycjones said:
I think the PP was a little confused...

I'm so sorry for your loss! What a terrible thing to have happen! I agree with other posters that a grief counselor may be of some comfort to you during this time.

It is important that you take care of yourself for the sake of the baby. But know that your body is going to make sure the baby gets everything it needs. So don't worry too much.

I'm not confused I just needed to revise my wording. My religion believes that baby's spirits are in heaven before they are born. That is what I meant and that the baby has a guardian angel

JemHolo2015 · February 2015

kinnieloo said:

abbycjones said:
I think the PP was a little confused...

I'm so sorry for your loss! What a terrible thing to have happen! I agree with other posters that a grief counselor may be of some comfort to you during this time.

It is important that you take care of yourself for the sake of the baby. But know that your body is going to make sure the baby gets everything it needs. So don't worry too much.
I'm not confused I just needed to revise my wording. My religion believes that baby's spirits are in heaven before they are born. That is what I meant and that the baby has a guardian angel

I also found your comment to be extremely confusing, even with the clarification.

OP, I'm so sorry, this is truly devastating. I can't even imagine. I second the advice to seek a grief counselor or therapist. You need to make sure you're taking care of yourself and the baby, and it sounds like you could use some help getting through this.

bpwife&mama · February 2015

Let yourself grieve. I've never dealt with a loss like that in my life so I wish I had better advice. I'm so sorry for your loss and I hope with time you find peace.

jenandbrett · February 2015

I am so incredibly sorry

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