Staying at home with kids

runforcookies · January 2015

Just curious for those that are waiting, what are your work plans? Or for those who have already adopted what is your current situation?

Did you work before and leave after the baby? Do you still work full time or part time? How do you make it all work?

I hope to be able to stay home part time at some point but know that it's just not possible right away and I'm already feeling guilty about it.

oliv0026 · January 2015

well, in my case, my kids will be older and I work overnight. I am planning to stay home for a week with them and after that I stay with them during the day and my husband stays during the night. I also work 4 days a week and have 3 off and my husband has 2 so that means for 5 days one of us will stay home day and night and we will have an Au Pair to help us too...

Dr.Loretta · January 2015

Not all expectant parents are looking for SAHPs.

I worked before Dd was born, took ML and went back for a month. I then freelanced for my old company for 4 years. We moved to a HCOL area and I went back to work when DD was 4. She goes to preschool and has an after school babysitter

runforcookies · January 2015

@dr.loretta that is my fear that expecting parents would want a SAHP.

beachybride10 · January 2015

We both work now, and will work after. I think it's just as common for both parents to work as it is for one to stay home so I don't really expect it to count against us too much.

Also, side track. I did the math and 65% of my Hs salary will go to daycare. That makes me about pass out.

CarolinaGirl2014 · January 2015

Honestly, not all expectant parents want SAHP's. I fell in love with A's parents partly because of their careers and their passion for them. The only thing that mattered to me was child care. I'm not a fan of day care and chose placement mainly because I didn't want her in a day care lost among a dozen other babies for 10-12 hours a day. That's just me, though. I've met lots of birth parents happy that their birth child is in day care while their adoptive parents pursue careers.

I also loved the flexibility. They were honest that they couldn't afford for D to quit her job, and she loved it too much anyway. She planned to cut back (~30 hours a week) and hire a nanny but when A had such severe colic she ended up quitting a few months to take care of her. It was hard but they made it happen. I couldn't have done that and I am thankful every day for them.

Hope this helps!

Dr.Loretta · January 2015

runforcookies said:
@dr.loretta that is my fear that expecting parents would want a SAHP.

Some will, some won't. There's a match for just about every situation

bumpuser794640 · January 2015

I worked full time up until the day we were going to pick up our son at the adoption agency. This was our plan all along, and I let my job know after we were approved and waiting that I would give them as much notice as possible, but that I might not have much/any. It's a good thing, too, because we got the call on a Wednesday afternoon and picked up our son the next day.

There's no reason to feel guilty for not being able to SAH. It isn't feasible for a lot of families. We make it work by having a budget and sticking to it. I just accepted a very part time job (Friday evening and Saturday morning) that I will be starting this week, but this is more for my sanity than for the money.

runforcookies · January 2015

@CarolinaGirl2014‌ it does help, thank you. On top of needing the money I also just finally got a promotion that I have been working really hard on and I am really loving my job.

I agree on daycare though. Between my MIL and a friend who is a nanny we'll have it covered.

Makes me feel better that there are others out there like us.

leisemomtobe · January 2015

I am currently working and have plans to quit after baby comes. My workplace already knows of these plans and are cool with it. I've even already started cross training since we're active and could be matched at anytime now. I know not all EP's are looking for SAHM's or AP's that work. You just have to do what is best for you and your family.

alishakay · January 2015

My husband and I both work FT before and after, as much as I'd love to stay home, we need my income! We also were chosen because of the life we could provide, which take away my income I'm not sure we could still provide all of those things. Like travel for instance, we want to be able to still do that and take him with us. Plus I have a daughter in college, I couldn't lose my income now and we need to plan for his college as well, so working is a must do for us! Daycare is actually not as bad as I thought, I was dreading it, but it's working, it's a good routine for us and him. We have a lot of backups when needed too. Both of our jobs allow us great flexibility, I'm the boss so I make the schedule;) I've been able to spend either a day off or half a day to break up the week to spend extra time with him since his arrival and I was able to spend 10 weeks home alone with him after birth. I poured myself into my career when my daughter was older, I'm exactly where I want to be, however I will add that once he arrived, my career was no longer my top priority! I still need it, but I don't live for it, I don't stay late and I don't go in early anymore, it definitely is not the same as it once was!

DLpanda08 · January 2015

DH and I will both be working full time after we adopt, but we are also not looking to adopt a baby. We are hoping to adopt school-age children so they will be in school while DH and I are at work. I'm a teacher, so I will be home with the kids during school breaks. The only thing we haven't figured out yet is after school care, but that will likely depend on the specific child/children placed with us and whether we choose to have them attend public school or private school of some kind.

lovelyplanet · January 2015

We are both working FT now and plan to go back FT after taking a few weeks off after the baby comes. We do plan to stagger our hours a little and explore both options of nanny and day care and choose what's best for the baby. Apart from the fact it would be hard without both our incomes, we love our careers and will figure out a way to make both work. But our priorities will obviously be completely different.

CaptainSerious · January 2015

We adopted M in July 2010, when he was 7. I stayed home with him until September, and then worked part-time while he was in school until December. Then I resumed full-time work and we had a nanny stay with him in the afternoons.

We adopted J in March 2012, when he was 5. I stayed home with him until September, but we still had the nanny come in sometimes, so we didn't lose her and the boys formed/continued their relationship with her. I returned to work full time in September, and worked until May 2013.

I have been home with the boys since then, as we decided that it would make things easier given their educational and special needs.

Jenn is Silly · February 2015

When our daughter came home I had every intention on maintaining my professional career.

Until I didn't.

It hit slow and grew on me, the desire to stay home. Then because my daughter literally got every.single.virus in a year an infant can get (communal) and was hospitalized more then once, her pediatrician insisted she not be in daycare. After paying a nanny a small fortune, I cut the cord and became a stay at home mom.

As someone who never saw myself doing it, I couldn't imagine loving it anymore then I do. The last 3 years home with my daughter have been one of the biggest blessings in my life (aside from her).

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