Moms who had epidurals * read me!

rosascol · February 2015

Hello January moms! I'm writing a blog entry about the prejudices women who chose to have epidurals face from society, especially moms from the "natural" movement. As a first time mom who had the greatest epidural birth ever, I feel awful when women around me put me down for my choice, and I'm wondering if anyone else has faced the same issues.

I'd love to include others' stories, perspectives, and quotes. If you'd be willing to share, please comment below. If you'd be willing to share AND allow me to include your perspective in my blog article, please let me know that in your post. Otherwise, I look forward to hearing everyone's thoughts!

bigbobdole · February 2015

I'm pretty sure this is spam or something.. But IDGAF.

Spam on, Spammer.

emilyp2013 · February 2015

I, personally, give no $h!ts when women attempt to guilt me for this. I have a beautiful, healthy baby who has had no issues breastfeeding or otherwise. My friend who is a neonatologist says when asked about epidurals, "I wouldn't have dental work done without anesthetic, so why should I be a martyr in the delivery room?" Given the low chance of risks involved, I think she has a valid point. My father in law, who is a neuroradiologist and places epidurals very frequently, jokes about the pressure women are made to feel about going unmedicated, "We also used to have "natural" surgery, but I don't see anyone rushing to get that."

As a side note, I also reject the term "natural childbirth" to describe unmedicated birth. There is nothing "unnatural" about regional anesthetic. I promise all laws of nature were left unbroken regardless of your pain management choices.

So, when it comes to it, I haven't had any problems telling anti-epidural moms that I don't really care about their opinion on the quality of my birth. Even though I only had the epidural for 2-3 hours out of 30 hours of labor, I am very pleased with my birth experience. I felt present during the process and enjoyed experiencing every moment, which was my goal and the epidural helped me achieve that.

rosascol · February 2015

@emilyp2013 i totally agree with you- i think saying if you had an epidural that it's not natural is just a way to try to diminish your birth experience- you're still the one who put in all the work- thanks so much for sharing. @megan81112 no it's not spam- just trying to gather information for my blog post so it's not just from my perspective.

meghan427 · February 2015

Both my mom & sister didn't have epidurals with any of their children & I chose to get an epidural. After seeing how it greatly subsided the pain of my 20 hour labor and I still ended up with a perfect baby- I think they were the ones feeling stupid!

rosascol · February 2015

my sister-in-law is really coming at me hard to the point that we're not on great terms now. why do people insist on being so nasty and opinionated about YOUR health and body choices? i don't get it. why can't all women support each other, or at least mind your own business?

nikkiliz326 · February 2015

We all go home with the same prize: a beautiful baby! So IMO, why not ease your pain?

solsen1914 · February 2015

I chose to have one though it didn't work all the way I wouldn't go back and change it. I was begging for it by the time I got to the hospital. I had some people tell me they went natural but they didn't try to force pain on me. I even had a couple total strangers including my dentist highly recommend getting one.

TXUltraRunner · February 2015

Funny- where I live people think you're a freak if you don't get an epidural. I'm the only person I know in my group of friends who didn't get one and they all think I'm nuts

paulandmelissa · February 2015

Hi January Moms!!

I am new to your thread...my lo decided to come a month early, so I've been on the Feb moms boards!

Anyway, I wanted to speak to the epidural question - and you can absolutely use my perspective on your blog...

I had decided to have an epidural very early on in my pregnancy. I have had high blood pressure in the past, so anything that could help manage the stress around the delivery was on the table. I'm also a HUGE research person, so I read up and all of the GOOD studies (mind you, many studies done in the US are biased because of the social pressure - I found this both around the natural birth movement and alcohol consumption...). Basically, the research says that there are risks to the baby with the epidural - mainly a slower labor, and there are the risks to mom without it - blood pressure, pain, etc. None of the studies found that the risks of one choice outweighed the risks of the other - basically, it's your choice, one isn't better than the other. So, epidural for me!

Jump ahead 35 weeks and 6 days - my water breaks and I'm having my lo 4 weeks early. When I got to the hospital at 3:00 in the afternoon, I was told that if she came before midnight, she would go straight to the special care nursery for a minimum of 24 hours because she wasn't 36 weeks yet. If I made it until midnight, it would depend on how she looked when she came out. I will tell you my labor went FAST. My water broke at noon, I was 2-3cm by 3:00, and 7cm by 6:00. No way baby was waiting without some serious effort on my part. Given that she was not in stress in utero, the nurses supported my decision to hold off as long as possible. Here is where the epidural comes in handy. First, there is a widely held belief that epidurals slow down labor. The research shows that it actually only slows labor by an average of 5 minutes in first time moms, but hey, 5 minutes is 5 minutes. In my experience, it slowed my labor down much more than that. Around 11:00 I was at 9cm. This is when I started to really want to push - so much so that even with the epidural, I was in pain. I can't imagine what it would have been like without the epidural. I ended up making it until 11:45 before I couldn't handle it anymore. I pushed for an hour an a half, and had my beautiful little girl at 1:19am. The best part was that she was a perfect 7lbs, 19in, and had absolutely no need to be separated from mommy, which allowed me to start breast-feeding immediately (which is strongly supported by the research as better than formula).

I felt a lot of pressure during my pregnancy to "go natural". Luckily, I have a strong will and I like to argue. I pretty much shut down anyone who started with me with the research - I can cite it, they couldn't... My opinion is do what is right for you. I honestly cannot imagine not having the epidural. It allowed me to focus on my little girl as opposed to focusing on pain management. Going into delivery being okay with an epidural is also crucial. There are many times when you just don't have a choice. Anyway, do your research, make a decision that YOU will be happy with, and (as difficult as it is) block out all the negativity!

I hope that helps!!! :-)

~Melissa~

lexirolle · February 2015

You could use this in your blog. In the Bahamas they believe strongly in natural birth, if you want the epidural you have to pay for it and at a pretty penny. I would have gotten it, but I wanted to experience natural birth. I think it's your choice, don't let people's opinion deter you!

rosascol · February 2015

@paulandmelissa, thank you so much for sharing your story. i'm so glad to hear you also had a great delivery experience! if you'd be willing to share where you found your research or could point me in the direction to search on my own, i'd be so interested in checking that out. it sounds like just what i need to prepare my story. can you private message someone on this site? i'm not sure. thanks again for sharing! when i'm finished with the article, i'll send you the link.

rosascol · February 2015

@lexirolle, i appreciate your perspective and how open you are to other people's choices- that's the kind of attitude i think everyone needs to have and that i unfortunately do not have from my sister-in-law. thanks for sharing

MNgirl326 · February 2015

My first birth was with an epi

My second was without.

If i have any more kids i would do without again. My experience with an epi was not a good one and it prevented me from being able to nurse right away and prevented me from being able to see my son for 4 hours after he was born.

I don't really care what other think about having an epi, but for me it wasn't worth it and it was totally worth it to go "natural"

People are always going to judge you for your decisions as a mom. It is your choice to listen to those judgements or not.

Unknown · February 2015

This content has been removed.

cmaceachern · February 2015

I decided to have one as well, mainly because we thought I was going to end up having a c-section. But at the last minute I ended up dilating 7cm in 45 minutes so it was a natural child birth in the end. Everything happened so fast that my epidural ended up not working.

I had a good experience with getting the epidural though. The procedure was quick and when it worked, it worked well! I have had no issues since it was taken out, no pain or discomfort. I really can't complain about any of it.

eklauzer · February 2015

I took the advice of my aunt. This child is going to cause me enough pain later might as well take the meds now.... But really, I look at as I knew what I could take pain wise. My husband was supportive of my choice and the family was too excited to have a new baby to care.

momen2shine · February 2015

I had two epidurals bc my first one wore off. I have scoliosis and I believe the medicine was distributed unevenly. I ended up pushing for 2.5 hours and felt every contraction. I wish I had known that epidurals are not a guarantee to be free from pain. I would have been more prepared in advance to basically have a natural birth with some brief respites from the excruciating pain! Next time I'm getting a doula.

jjstrickler · February 2015

Not sure if serious.

rosascol · February 2015

i'm confused- yes it's serious

paulandmelissa · February 2015

Hi!! I read a book by Emily Oster called Expecting Better...it's a fabulous book and it cites all of its studies...follow those citations for the info you are looking for :-)

Also, not sure if you can private message :-/

rosascol · February 2015

really appreciate the help @paulandmelissa!

devinandmichelle · February 2015

You're welcome to share my story.

I have an amazing support group of moms at my church who range from the super-crunchy-granola-attachment-parents to the typical-American-diet-and-super-strict-schedule-type. We have a no-judgement atmosphere and say NO to the Mommy Wars!

I was so encouraged during my pregnancy by moms who knew my wish to have an unmedicated birth, with lots of tips and stories of their own experiences. At the same time, I was also given the advice that there is no shame in having an epidural and a medicated birth is still an amazing and beautiful experience. Women from both "camps" and everywhere in between told me that whatever decision my husband and I made, it would be the right one for our baby and our family.

After a three-day induction with 90-second contractions coming every 2 minutes for three hours with none of our practiced relaxation strategies providing relief and no progress made, I opted for an epidural. Because of the support and encouragement I had received from my mom friends and family before-hand, I felt proud of how long we made it without medication, and felt confident in my decision to get it when I did. My son wasn't born until 15 hours later, and I wouldn't have had the physical or emotional strength to push him out without the pain relief and sleep that the epidural allowed!

With my next baby, I still intend to try for an unmedicated birth with few or no interventions (we needed almost every intervention in the book this time!). However, I know that if it goes differently than we hope it will still be amazing and worth every second!

smsnyder0307 · March 2015

I have two friends that were anti-epidural and told me not to get one. Due to my scoliosis and discussing the risks, I decided to get an epidural. Although, for me, the epidural didn't do me as much good as I wanted. Doctor let my epidural wear off completely (he wanted me to gain feeling back so I could feel the contractions) and I ended up feeling the full contraction and blanking out after the contractions. I would never go without an epidural because the full feeling of the contractions is worse than I could ever imagine. Not everyone has a high pain tolerance and if you want to avoid the pain, or most of it, I advise to get an epidural. Just inform anti-epidural moms that you prefer the epidural.

Naebj · March 2015

I have epilepsy and had a high risk pregnancy. Not having an epidural was not an option. It would have been crazy to put both of our lives at risk if I had a seizure during childbirth. I was in labor for 34 hours, pushing for 2 hours and had a 2nd degree tear. I had the epidural 8 hours before my daughter was born. I hadn't slept in 3 days which put me at an elevated risk. I can't imagine going through all of that with nothing. Even if I wasn't high risk I still would have chosen the epidural. Why choose to be in pain on the best day of your life if you don't have to be?

drpayne · March 2015

Ground-breaking topic here.

shorty8776 · April 2015

I wanted to go natural at first. My baby was due Jan. 8th. On the 7th at 2am I was at the hospital with labor pains. They told me I had only dilated to a 2 and I had to wait. But I also had got high blood pressure. They kept me til 8am, checking my dilation every 2 hours, but no change, so I was sent home. We walked around the mall to help my labor come along. By 5pm my pain came on a lot stronger, to the point of tears coming out. Had no time to go back to my scheduled hospital, so we went to a closer one. They treated me amazing. They really worried about my high blood pressure, so they gave me medicine to regulate it. I was still only at a 3. But my pains were strong. They helped my dilation go faster and broke my water. By the time I got to a 6 I got the epidural, I honestly don't know what time it was (too much pain). But my high blood pressure was able to go down. I was able to dilate to a 10, with no issues to my baby. By 6am they told me it was time to push. I had a beautiful birth with no pain. And Julian was born right before 8am at a healthy 6 lbs 10 oz. I have no regrets about my pregnancy. And was able to start breastfeeding right away.

Want a personalized experience?

Moms who had epidurals * read me!

Re: Moms who had epidurals * read me!

Choose Another Board

Search Boards