Pregnant after a Loss

anniversary of loss today

Today is the 6 year anniversary my 21 week pregnancy with my baby girl Juliet coming to an end. This is the milestone I've been waiting to get past and I am not going to spend today in the fetal position crying though I give myself permission to every year. I am so grateful to be healthy today and that my high risk doc was comforting at our ultra sound on Thursday. It feels good to have a healthy little boy in me and a purse full of his ultra sound pics for reassurance. I started to feel guilty and cry the other day for how happy I am and said to my husband in afraid I'll forget her or leave her behind. Has anyone else felt like this? Dh said something along the lines of its time to heal and no longer have so much of my life taken up by grief. I thought that was a little extreme and hadn't realized how much he perceived my pain.


Me (28) DH (34) actively TTC since 2010

2011 dx by RE: Severe mfi- Treatment option: IVF w/ ICSI ( I declined the RE recommendation to use ds),  2012  IVF#1 w/ICSI long Lupron protocol + follistim + menopour.  Transferred 2 day 3 embys, ended in early m/c, 2013 IVF#2 w/ICSI bcp, lupron, & a lot of friggin follistim. Received a call the morning of transfer that they ceased, 2014  1/11/14 -cycle day 1, unmedicated AI w. DS.  AI #1 1.23.14, scheduled again for 1.25.14, & 1.27.14

My baby lives in my heart.  Juliette Marie 1/17/2008 - forever 

Re: anniversary of loss today

  • ::hugs::  I'm sorry Your H doesn't understand.  I know what you mean I sometimes feel like I'll forget the baby I lost and feel guilty about being happy for this one.   If it helps at all, my mom's first baby was stillborn. She has never forgot her. She feels guilty when she doesn't think of her on her birthday (Like this year my friend hosted a baby shower for me that day and mom didn't think of it till the next day) But she never forgets. I don't think you can every really forget.  ::Hugs:: 
    -Megan


    Started dating Hubby May 17 2005. Married since Aug 20 2011 
    Me:30   Hubby:31
    TTC since May 2012 
    HSG Dec 2012 Fill no spill on left side, right side normal (most physically painful experience of my life..)
    Metformin Started May 2013
    PG#1: BFP 10-21-13. EDD 6-17-14 mmc 12-9-13 m/c occurred with cytotec on 12-11-13 
    PG#2: BFP 07-25-14.  EDD 4-5-15   *Hoping this is my rainbow*
    Diagnosed with PCOS, Hypothyroid,IBD/UC, (UC in remission as of July 2014)
    *I will always love you Fetey the first.* 
    image

    ALL WELCOME!



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  • so many (((hugs)))

    Me 34 DH 31, Together since 2003, Married August 20, 2011,  TTC since May 2013
    BFP #1 August 24, 2013! MMC discovered Oct. 3, 2013, D&C Oct. 4, 2013
    BFP #2 December 17, 2013! MMC discovered Jan. 28, 2014, D&C Jan. 30, 2014
    Testing done: male with complete Trisomy 16, not hereditary. Tested me for clotting disorders, all normal.
    Feb. 2014 all clear again to TTC!  Will start progesterone supplementation with the next BFP just in case.       Oct. 2014 more testing just because, thyroid and autoimmune panels = normal.  Diagnostic U/S = no abnormalities.  Will keep trying for 3-6 more months, doctor still optimistic!

    BFP #3 December 11, 2014!  Beta #1 14DPO = 122.4 Beta #2 17DPO = 296.8 Please stick little one and be our Rainbow!

            Perfect little heartbeat of 156 seen 1/7/15 :)

    ***Everybody Welcomed***  :)  

    EDD 8/21/2015 Team Green!

    IAmPregnant Tickerrainbows                

     photo Multiple4_zps436a50cc.jpg photo April3_zps882432ab.jpg August 2 

    August 2015 Siggy Challenge: Favorite mean girl from a movie or show:  Kathy Bates in "Misery"

  • ((Hugs)) days like those are hard.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Pregnancy Ticker

    Angel baby 3/2014 at 5.5 weeks
    Angel baby 6/2014 MMC at 7.5 weeks
  • ((Hugs))

    December 4                     image

    Married-1/2012
    TTC-8/2013   BFP-4/18/14  EDD: 12/29/12 MC-5/17/14 @ 7w4d
    BFP #2-11/13/14  EDD: 7/26/14  Beta #1: 11/14/13 (135 progesterone: 19.5)   Beta #2" 11/17/14 (733 ) 
    Hoping for good news!

    Everyone Welcome

  • Lots of *hugs*
    Stephanie Lynn 
    *BFP3:7/10/14 EDD: 3/19/15--Renley Alexander born 3/12/15!!*
    11/17/14-adopted a furbaby named Luna (born 9/05/14)
    BFP2: 11/25/11-Aaron Alexander born sleeping at 31 weeks on 05/31/12
    BFP1: 07/28/11-EDD:3/19/12, natural MC 09/12/11 at 12 wks-HB and growth stopped at 6wks
    S&A together since 05/14/11

  • Thanks for your support


    Me (28) DH (34) actively TTC since 2010

    2011 dx by RE: Severe mfi- Treatment option: IVF w/ ICSI ( I declined the RE recommendation to use ds),  2012  IVF#1 w/ICSI long Lupron protocol + follistim + menopour.  Transferred 2 day 3 embys, ended in early m/c, 2013 IVF#2 w/ICSI bcp, lupron, & a lot of friggin follistim. Received a call the morning of transfer that they ceased, 2014  1/11/14 -cycle day 1, unmedicated AI w. DS.  AI #1 1.23.14, scheduled again for 1.25.14, & 1.27.14

    My baby lives in my heart.  Juliette Marie 1/17/2008 - forever 

  • I am so sorry, anniversary days are so rough. You won't forget her. Hugs.
     Daisypath Anniversary tickers        Daisypath Happy Birthday tickers

    Oct Angel*BFP 1/25/14 * EDD 10/6/14 * US#1 2/26/14 *US#2 3/3/14 no heartbeat*d&c 3/12/14*

    BFP 1/17/15 * EDD 9/30/15

    image







  • Hugs for you <3
    image
    DS1 born 4/17/11
    DS2 born 2/22/13
    MMC 5/16/14@8w2d
    DD due 5/9/15 Please be our
    RAINBOW


    imageimage
  • I'm so sorry :( It doesn't matter how much time passes, you'll always remember (and mourn) her loss. 
    DH: 28 Me: 30~TTC #2 since June 2014
    BabyFruit Ticker
    BFP #1: 8/22/2014~EDD: 5/5/2015~CP: 8/29/2014
    BFP #2: 12/27/2014~EDD: 9/9/2015

    September 2015 Siggy challenge: Happy dance
    image
  • Thank you for the love


    Me (28) DH (34) actively TTC since 2010

    2011 dx by RE: Severe mfi- Treatment option: IVF w/ ICSI ( I declined the RE recommendation to use ds),  2012  IVF#1 w/ICSI long Lupron protocol + follistim + menopour.  Transferred 2 day 3 embys, ended in early m/c, 2013 IVF#2 w/ICSI bcp, lupron, & a lot of friggin follistim. Received a call the morning of transfer that they ceased, 2014  1/11/14 -cycle day 1, unmedicated AI w. DS.  AI #1 1.23.14, scheduled again for 1.25.14, & 1.27.14

    My baby lives in my heart.  Juliette Marie 1/17/2008 - forever 

  • My husband and I have two angel babies from pregnancies we lost at 14 weeks (2/13/12) and 9 weeks (8/2/13).  I didn't want to forget them either. I was so devastated.  After our first loss, I felt like I needed to do something to help me heal and to help me always remember the baby we never got to hold.  So my husband and I went to the local garden shop and picked out a beautiful blue pot and planted a fuchsia tree in it on the day that our baby was suppose to be born.  I found a porcelain angel that fit right at the base of the tree.  We put it right at the entrance of our front door.  And just seeing it bloom there was comforting to me. We planted an azalea bush in another blue pot (I picked blue, because it has this feeling of heaven) on the day our second angel baby was suppose to be born.  We placed it on the other side of the entrance of our front door.  Some days when I come home I am rushed and don't really take time to look at them as I enter, but many days (especially days the flowers are at their fullest bloom) I look at them and remember and somehow am comforted in seeing the life in the bright green leaves and a blossoms.  I know it might be corny but, it gave me peace.  The plants are something tangible for me...to touch, to see and to remember.

    *hugs* to you


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