Pregnant after a Loss

BFP!

Okay, so I know that people here might not care, but I just got my BFP and I am not ready to tell people (well, I told my mom because I was about to burst) but I need someone to talk to because I am literally about to explode with so much emotions. 

1- I am excited! I haven't really had the chance to try since I lost my first baby in 2010 because my (then) S.O wasn't ready at the time and he didn't want the baby. 
2- I am scared because I don't want to be too happy since I could lose this child as well (and I know stressing doesn't help)
3- I am nervous because the timing could be better. I just recently lost my insurance because I turned 26 and I am starting a new job so I get insurance in, like, 3 months, but I was going to try for a better job in April or May, but they put us on a trial for 6 months, and I would be delivering around the 5th or 6th month so I could be fucked. 
4- My husband and I were going to start applying for a green card for him in August, so there is more reason to be nervous. 

I just need someone to talk to without spilling the secret yet... so many emotions. Now that it's official...not a "I may be, I may not" I am very happy. Just very scared too. 
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Re: BFP!

  • Congrats! I totally get the excited but scared feeling. Being PgAL is such a weird mix of emotions, and I think what you're feeling is totally normal. I hope that everything with the job and your H's green card work out smoothly so you have less to worry about!

    Me: 33  DH: 32
    Married: 5/19/2006
    Hashimoto's Disease dx 9/2013
    BFP#1: 5/23/14 EDD: 1/16/15 pPROM: 7/31/14 (15w6d) D&C: 8/10/14 (17w2d - possible IC)
    BFP#2: 11/8/14 EDD: 7/17/15


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  • Thank you @Smagglebit :D I appreciate your support, because it is very scary to be PgAL, but it's comforting to know that others do it as well. My mom had me after her first loss, so there is that. A lot of women have healthy ones. I think once I can get on at a doctor, and I get to that 12 week mark I can relax more. Lost my last one at 11 weeks, though he/see stopped developing at 8 weeks I was told. So, I will be 5 tomorrow and it's a long wait. And I thought the TWW was horrid. But, I am being positive and my mom and stepdad are great, as well as my DH, so I am happy. :) Just trying to keep calm. I am remembering the symptoms may suck, but they are a sign that BC (Baby Coleman) is healthy. 

    I wish you so much luck and love with your little July Firefly! :D
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  • I understand completely. I just got my BFP over the weekend and for a good hour all I could do was cry. I am so happy (using my optimism skills this week) but all I could think was, "I don't want to go through another loss."
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