Bipolar and Pregnant. Can anyone relate?

Kerabug15 · February 2015

I am Bipolar and 5 months pregnant. I see my psychiatrist once a month and he and I decided together that Medication (although there are some that are pregnancy safe) shouldn't be a part of my pregnancy and that I should attend intense therapy for the remainder of my pregnancy until I am finished breast feeding and can return to my regular medication and therapy schedules. Even if I had decided to switch to a pregnancy safe medication he said he would have to take me off of it in my third trimester anyway.

The first few months have been alright, I did notice mood swings, but that comes with the pregnancy territory also. As I become more and more pregnant though, I notices that my mood swings are more rapid and definitely more intense...not just pregnancy mood swings. I feel that pregnancy mood swings on top off Bipolar can get extremely messy. Last night I started to fall into deep depression and today I just don't want to be bothered. I am dragging myself to church and I am going to force myself to do some cleaning around the house in hopes that I can fight depression mode. I just notice myself getting unnecessarily angry, manic and then super depressed in one day and it's a total drag, but I just don't see the point in taking meds right now.

I guess the point of this post is to make sure I am not alone, to find people who relate and that I can talk to.

I am relatively new to the bump, however active...I still have yet to make some steady bump friends.

So, Bipolar moms I am calling out to you! Let's talk about it!

babealertz · February 2015

I'm rooting for you! I'm not bipolar, but my mom is. I have so many questions about how she got through her pregnancy, but if I start asking questions she'll figure out I'm pregnant before I want to tell her. It sounds like you are working really hard to do the best you can by your baby, and I'm so sorry that you have to put your own well-being at risk to do so. Your kid is lucky to have such a loving, conscientious mom.

Kerabug15 · February 2015

@Babealertz, I am sure your Mom will be happy to answer any question you may have after you tell her about your pregnancy. I am doing the best I can to make sure I have a good pregnancy and that my baby is healthy and happy. I want to be the best mama I can be. Thank you very much for your support, it's much appreciated.

Kerabug15 · February 2015

I keep finding it so difficult to navigate through TheBump. I keep posting my discussion in the wrong threads

Danceriup · February 2015

I read this thread and thought... Wow this is the sentence (I'm bipolar and pregnant) I use everytime I speak to a new doctor.... I FEEL FOR YOU!

I can promise you that you are not alone. Before trying to conceive, I was on Klonopin, Effexor, and Lamictal. When my husband and I decided to TTC, I first went off of Klonopin (Grade D... i think?), then Effexor. Other than the aweful withdrawl brain zaps of Effexor, I was fine - Emotionally totally fine. I was confidant this was going to work and somehow my Bipolar 2 diagnoses was in remission, or I somehow "beat it" (wishful thinking).....Next up was Lamictal, but my little peanut had other plans and sure enough, I got pregnant.

I immedietly titrated of the Lamictal, against my psychiatrists wishes. He said, go to 100 (I was on 200) and up the folic acid. I went down to 100, 50, 25, off within 10 days. It was part of "my plan"... The pregnancy plan I had in my head of how all of this would work. Well, as you know.... Being bipolar isn't easy. being pregnant isn't easy. And putting the two together created the "perfect storm" for me and the other night after three weeks of heavy panic attacks and sobbing I cracked.... I never went to bed and paced my hallways for 8 hours in sheer panic (of what, I have no idea)

Brings me to the next day when i was back at my psychiatrist.... I felt defeated, like a failure, like "am I too weak to be a mom"? (In rational thought, I will tell you having a mental illness DOES NOT mean you are weak) I didn't chose this illness and it felt so unfair at that moment.

I have since collaborated with my PCP, my OB, and my psychiatrist to work on our plan B... An antianxiety that is Class B and considering a very low dose Lamictal (25-50mg) at the end of Tri1. (Some research shows standard dosage of 200+ for BP and Epilepsy patients yields there is a slightly higher risk than non users to develop a cleft lip/ pallet when used in tri1)

So whatever you decide to do, please know that I support you and wishing you and your little bundle of joy well!

allyx1029 · February 2015

Hello,
I am 4w5d and I am bipolar and have an extreme amount of anxiety. When I called my psychologist, they just told me to stop my lamictal and Xanax and that was it. My dr wouldn't even talk to me bc he told me not to get pregnant bc I couldn't take my medicine ..AT EVERY APPOINTMENT. I feel okay so far except for some anxiety and a couple mild panic attacks.

I'm going to just keep staying positive because I really don't want to take lamictal while I'm pregnant.

Good luck

spudintheoven · March 2015

I have depression and anxiety and have been wheeling myself off my meds for the last 3 weeks, when I discovered I was pregnant. I've been reducing the dosage after only a week and have found it really horrible. I can totally sympathise. Having bipolar is hard, being pregnant is hard, coming off meds is hard! Doing all 3 at once is so so hard!

LittleRocket · March 2015

Hello! I'm right there with you! I am 7 weeks and 6 days pregnant with a bipolar diagnosis. I was on Seroquel and Wellbutrin. I weaned off both about 3 months before trying to conceive. Then, we couldn't conceive. It turned out that we had to do IVF, which has been a long road (though luckily not as long as many have had to walk). All told, it's been almost 2 years that I've been off my meds. It's been a rocky road- as is the nature of the disorder. Sometimes it's been fine, others times it's been really terrible. Right now, I'm doing fine. When I was in the 2 week wait, I was having panic attacks. When we were trying to conceive & it wasn't working, the depression got really bad. I'm trying to appreciate feeling pretty good right now. (Although my house is a disaster & it looks like I'm in the depths of depression- I'm just exhausted and having a lot of back pain so the house is kind of falling apart.)

I'm mostly nervous about the post partum depression. My psych told me that she can almost guarantee that I'll have it. I really want to try to breast feed, and therefore stay off of meds as long as possible. I'm telling myself that that is my goal, but it might not be possible, so I'm not too disappointed if I can't do it.

I really appreciate that you started this thread. My only real suggestion to anyone in our boat is to find a doctor that you like and trust. I'm sorry to hear about the lack of support that some are getting from their doctors. You might want to consider looking for a new one. I had to try a few before I found one I was comfortable with. Good luck!!!

CamilleJon · May 2015

I started a private group concerning this topic:

https://forums.thebump.com/group/641-mental-illness-and-pregnant-bfing-or-ttc

If anyone is interested in joining I welcome you to request an invite. This is a private group so anything discussed within the group can only be seen by other members of the group

khf221979 · May 2015

I know how you feel. I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 a couple of years ago along with anxiety, panic disorder and a few other things. My psychiatrist was helping me ween off my meds and I ultimately made the decision to just come off all of them at once. It did not go well at first especially going thru ivf. Now that I'm pregnant I'm not doing so bad. I still have some anxiety issues and panic issues. My mood swings aren't that bad considering I'm not on my meds. I think what has helped me going is knowing I'm pregnant. That excitement kinda keeps me going and there was no way I was going to continue to take my meds while pregnant. I think even though I know I need my meds it was the best decision for my growing baby not to be on them.

TacoSarah · May 2015

I take lamotrigine. My pre pregnancy dosage was 150mg daily. I lowered the dosage to 50mg and added in 5mg folic acid during 1st trimester, then increased back up to 100mg and discontinued the extra folic acid after 13 weeks.

The first trimester was hard but I'm 16 weeks now and it's going well.

Diet plays a critical role in how I feel. It was harder during the first trimester with MS and food aversions. I eat a very clean diet. No processed food, lots of good fats like avocadoes and coconut oil and grains and starches like brown rice and sweet potatoes.

TessTickle · May 2015

Kerabug15! I have been MIA from the Bump since I gave birth to my daughter (she is currently 8 months old), but I am 6 weeks pregnant and have been lurking. I have Bipolar Disorder and immediately logged in to comment on your post. It is SO HARD to go unmedicated. As of the past 4 years, my manic episodes have gone from hypomania to the most extreme forms of mania you could imagine. It scares me. I can't tell you what will work for you, but I can tell you what has "worked" for me, so far.

1) Try to channel any mania into creativity (depression too). Writing, painting, playing an instrument, etc. My house is a mess of art projects at the moment.

2) Make sure you get dressed and leave the house EVERY DAY, even if you have no reason to (this also saved me from post-partum depression).

3) I meet with an amazing counselor 1-2 times a week. Sometimes my husband comes with me, as well, so he can give a more accurate depiction of what is happening (I often have delusions or black out).

4) Being forced to stay sober helps!

5) Don't push yourself too hard when you are already feeling overwhelmed.

6) Exercise as often as possible.

7) Try to get at least 15 minutes of sunlight a day.

8) I hate this advice because I have suffered from insomnia my entire life, but try to get as much sleep as possible. I usually get 3 hours of sleep or less on weekdays - and I can tell you, no matter how positive I try to be, I always hit rock bottom.

I hope maybe even one of these bullet points can help you. I feel like certain people are mad at me for getting pregnant, thinking it's selfish to my family since I can no longer medicate. Maybe this is a backwards way of thinking, but my children give me a reason to live. They give me a reason to want to try and be better. To me, part of that saves me more than any medication ever will.

Good luck! Please PM me if you need anything.

CamilleJon - can you please invite me into your group?

TessTickle · May 2015

LittleRocket: I was SO SCARED of post-partum depression with my first! Petrified! Surprisingly for me, it was quite the opposite effect. As soon as I saw my daughter, I felt an overwhelming sense of joy. At the 3 month mark, when I still was not able to find work, things started to change slightly - but I never felt any anger or resentment for my daughter. I was more antsy (and I need somewhat of a structured routine to stay on track).

I am in no way saying that this will be your experience, but I just wanted to let you know that it IS possible to NOT have post-partum depression, even if you are depressed throughout most of your pregnancy. It is great, however, that you are preparing yourself for the worst case scenario - I did the same.

KLake42 · May 2015

I'm not bipolar, but my wife is. I'm currently TTC, but I have a few obstacles, so we've considered whether she might be able to be the one to get pregnant.

I think we're pretty confident that we'd be able to find the right combination of medication and care that would work for her, but we're anxious about finding the right doctor who would be able to work with her to figure it out. She has the hardest time finding a doctor who is willing to make small changes at a time to her medication (and big changes often make her feel terrible).

I would like to recommend that you google and check out the Icarus Project. It's a grassroots organization of people dealing with mental health issues, mostly bipolar folks, working together to provide mutual support and self advocacy. Some people involved with the project are really interested in minimizing their reliance on medication (though it's not necessarily an anti-med or anti-doctor group of folks). You might find some support there. They have a pretty active forum, and some books, including a book specifically on getting off meds safely.

ktearly2015 · May 2015

I am 7 weeks and also bipolar and am terrified of going off my meds. I have finally found the right dose that balances me and the thought of my moods being out of control again is very overwhelming.

rsottile · May 2015

I'm bipolar and 5 weeks pregnant....I'm on Lamictal 50 mg but I'm going to stay on it....I think there is more of a risk of me going off of it then the risk of the baby

emzie54 · May 2015

I have depression and after finding out I was pregnant thought that I would have to discontinue the Wellbutrin I take. I was making that decision in the throes of the worst mood swings I have ever experienced and was absolutely panicked about how bad it would be off of meds. After consultation with a psychiatrist who specializes in women's mental health, I was reassured that the benefits of remaining on the meds were worth the nominal risk. She said that she routinely prescribes Wellbutrin to pregnant women and has never seen a negative impact on the babies. I'm comfortable with the decision I've made, and really think that the calculation needs to include the impact on the baby of living in a mama who is stressed and suffering. I would highly recommend talking to a specialist in women's psychiatry and am so happy I did! I so appreciate this thread, and the opportunity to talk about this with other women in a similar situation. Thanks for starting it!

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Bipolar and Pregnant. Can anyone relate?

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Re: Bipolar and Pregnant. Can anyone relate?

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