announcement opinions..

laurenbonner · February 2015

my sister is having a destination wedding wedding and our family leaves next Tuesday for Belize (i'll be 17 weeks). we don't live in the same town, but are very close and talk just about every day. we'll be in Belize for a week and they'll get married on Saturday (2/28). we haven't announced to any one yet because we don't want to take away from this special time for her and our family. i'm not sure we can still keep it on quiet on this trip with a week without drinking and skipping the zip lining. i want to share with everyone, but i don't know when would be best. i honestly do not want to take any attention away from her or them in any way. any opinions on when to announce to our family? before the wedding? after the wedding? hold out until the very end of vacation? i should also mention, they may not be able to have children for reasons i'd rather not say. she's always wanted a child and i just really don't want to hurt her feelings in any way.

mrsgaither · February 2015

That's a hard one. I completely understand you not wanting to take away from your sister, so maybe if someone notices you not doing some things then announce. If they don't notice, maybe wait until the last day of vacation. That's a really tough decision! Best of luck!

laurenbonner · February 2015

thank you for the response! my parents are in the same town as me and we're very close with them. i think they know something is up and i've thought about going ahead and announcing to them and seeing what they think i should do. i just don't want to take away from her day and really don't want the attention on me, there's still 6 months to go!

Heavenwhip · February 2015

Why don't you talk to your sister and get her opinion on it? I know if my sister found out she was pregnant around the time I got married I wouldn't have minded one bit if she announced it around the same time. Your sister may feel the same way and then you've done all this worrying for nothing.

laurenbonner · February 2015

i'm only announcing to her and our immediate family. i should have been more clear, my question is when should i announce to her.

laurenbonner · February 2015

i should also mention, they may not be able to have children for reasons i'd rather not say. she's always wanted a child and i just really don't want to hurt her feelings in any way.

Heavenwhip · February 2015

If it was me, I would tell her now. That way if she had any fear that your 'family' announcement would take away from her day she has an opportunity to voice it and you have some time to come up with legitimate excuses as to why you aren't doing "a, b, and c"

Miz_Liz · February 2015

laurenbonner said:

i should also mention, they may not be able to have children for reasons i'd rather not say. she's always wanted a child and i just really don't want to hurt her feelings in any way.

That does make it harder! Can you fake drink while you are there and just say you're scared of the zip line or that you don't feel good that day?

Heavenwhip · February 2015

laurenbonner said:
i should also mention, they may not be able to have children for reasons i'd rather not say. she's always wanted a child and i just really don't want to hurt her feelings in any way.

Oh, sorry I just seen this. That changes things. I have to agree with @Miz_Liz‌ in that case.

laurenbonner · February 2015

i want to tell her in person and i won't see her until the trip. the only people i would be announcing to on the trip is her, my parents, and my brother.

laurenbonner · February 2015

i've volunteered to stay with my nephews (6 & 3) during the zip lining so no one misses out, and i've thought about trying to fake drink. if that goes well, should i wait until the end of the trip to tell?

Heavenwhip · February 2015

You know your sister best. So if you think she will handle the news best at the end of the trip then do it then.

Miz_Liz · February 2015

laurenbonner said:

i've volunteered to stay with my nephews (6 & 3) during the zip lining so no one misses out, and i've thought about trying to fake drink. if that goes well, should i wait until the end of the trip to tell?

I would only because of her not being able to have kids. If it weren't for that, I would tell her before. If you can make it until you get home, I would do that. Hard situation, but it is really sweet that you are thinking of her and trying to do what is best for her given everything.

laurenbonner · February 2015

thank y'all for your responses! it's been tough keeping it from her!

LadyAbi · February 2015

If I were you I would just talk to her about it. Ask her when she thinks you should announce it and her answer will let you know how she feels about it. Honestly, if one of my family members wanted to announce on my wedding vacay, Id be excited about it. All the more to celebrate! Good luck.

emmej313 · February 2015

From someone who has went through infertility treatments to get pregnant, I thought it might help to hear my perspective. No matter when you tell your sister it is going to sting a little bit. But, I have also had close friends and my SIL wait a long time to tell me, and that almost hurt more. Personally, I would tell her, but just her, as early on as you can, letting her know that you don't want to upstage her special moment, but you felt like she needed to know. Faking it may end up hurting her more in the long run. Just my opinion, and I know it is a delicate situation, but I think she would rather know ahead of time, then wondering why you were trying to back out of the activities and maybe more reserved than you normally would be.

NayMD · February 2015

I would tell your family and your sister as soon as possible. It sounds like they will be thrilled and simply happy for you. If you tell them now before the wedding it will give them enough time for the news to sink in and celebrate in their own way. If you tell them when you get there ( and btw even if you don't tell them they will likely suspect when they see you and your behavior) the news will be distracting in my opinion. I understand your sisters inability to have children but I assume she new that one day you would have children if you could... She will be happy for you but as a courtesy give her a heads up before the wedding so she can process it.

sailorgal · February 2015

I agree, let them know before you arrive for the wedding.

Kath1083 · February 2015

I would tell her this week.

heath3er · February 2015

Let them know before. Plus the anxiety and pressure isn't flood for the baby. This is a happy moment for everyone.

My aunt was trying for years and I got pregnant quick with my first. I felt terrible and it was hard to tell her but I did. And 4years later she adopted her first and just adopted her 2nd 2 years ago.

I just told her a week ago I'm pregnant again. She is thrilled. I know your sister will be to. Don't keep a secret.

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