Late Term and Child Loss

PgAL Check-In 2/13/15

Hey ladies! I hope everyone had a great week! It's been a pretty eventful couple of weeks for several of you with birthdays and birth days!

How far along are you?

Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones?

Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions?

QOTW: How did you know you were "ready" to try again for this rainbow?

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

Re: PgAL Check-In 2/13/15

  • How far along are you?    29 weeks and 2 days

    Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones?    Had an appointment this past wednesday and Mac's heartbeat sounded good. My fundal height is measuring three weeks ahead and I gained 6lbs in two weeks. Big boy. 

    Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions?   Tired, pain in lower back and pain in lady bits. Lol!

    QOTW: How did you know you were "ready" to try again for this rainbow?   We didn't really, I had finally come to terms with that fact that my daughter was gone and that life with her was over. It didn't mean I had to stop loving, stop thinking or talking about her, it just mean't I had accepted things were different now. Needed to concentrate on my life with my hubby. My DH was still not ready to try again but I let him know I was getting off of birth control so that way when ever he was ready we wound't have to wait. DH made the decision that he was ok with that and I got pregnant two weeks after stoping birth control. I didn't think it would ever happen for us. It took us three months to get pregnant with our daughter, which I know isn't long.

    Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?  Brooke's 2nd Birthday is coming up on Tuesday the 17th. Just trying to think about her and all the wonderful moments we shared together and not think about her not being here. We want her day to be happy not sad.

    Brooke Elizabeth born Feb 17, 2013 grew wings May 9, 2013 @ 11 weeks & 4 days old from SIDS

     

     

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  • @schulme2 thanks for running the check-in

    @brittianym - I can't believe you are already that far along!!!  thinking about brooke next week.  ((Hugs))

    afm:how far along are you?  11 weeks 1 day

    any upcoming appts or milesstones?  I updated the thread last week with my ob's new plan.  I will go in on the 24th for a detailed ultrasound and decide from there if I want the nt scan

    qotw:  I've had 2 losses plus an IF diagnosis in between losing my daughter and this pregnancy.  I was so desperate to get pregnant again the second I lost bunny..whether I was ready or not.  I can tell a lot of differences between this pregnancy and my last two which were so close to losing Bunny.  When I was pregnant those two times I had a hard time separating the pregnancy from bunny's...it was like I thought I would be carrying her again and I had to remind myself that I wasn't.  I was also an emotional wreck...this time around I do feel like I am in a much better, happier, and hopeful place.  I know that this is a different pregnancy and I am happy to meet this baby.  I still love Bunny and think about her everyday but life is just ina different place.

    open topic:  can't believe I am already to 11 weeks...now just ready to see that all of the organs look good!!!

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    8/12-Suprise BFP- Sweet Bunny Born Sleeping 11/21/12 (19 weeks)

    -5/7/13- MMC (8 Weeks)

    11/6/13- BO discovered at 7 weeks- natural MC 11/25/13

    8/14- Surpise IF dx...low AMH (.24)- moving on to IVF

    IVF #1- 11/14- 6R5M4F=2 perfect frosties

    12/19/14- FET of 2 embabies = BFP!!!  One Little Bean EDD: 9/3/15

    Everyone Welcome.

  • Missed last week, but I'm back! Hope everyone is doing well! 

    How far along are you? I'll be 13 weeks tomorrow.

    Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones? My next appointment is March 10th.  I had my NT this past Tuesday and everything is looking good.  

    Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions? Pregnancy Rhinitis is driving me crazy.  I am constantly unable to smell, dripping snot, or just feeling plugged up.  I had hoped I wouldn't have to relive this symptom from my last pregnancy, but it appears as though this is just how my life will go.  

    QOTW: How did you know you were "ready" to try again for this rainbow? I don't even know.  My husband and I talked about it and decided that we were going to stop trying NOT to get pregnant... and after a month of just going with the flow- we decided we wanted to put some effort into things.  I got pregnant right away, which was shocking because it took 10 months to get pregnant the first time.  

    Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? I'm trying to get used to the idea of being pregnant and to just relax and let things go.  I was able to see my doctor finally, and she was great.  She gave me a big hug and expressed her condolences to my husband and I (we were transferred to a different clinic after my A/S last time, so I hadn't seen her since Dec. 2013).  She put my mind at ease by saying that I would get monthly ultrasounds and a fetal echo at 24 weeks at the high risk clinic- "just to make sure everything looks good".  She doesn't fear of any further heart defects, but she knows that it would help comfort me.  She was excited to hear I bought a fetal doppler and told me to use it as often as I wanted.  (It came in the mail a week or so ago, and after a few days I was finally able to find the heartbeat. :) )  I cried when she came in because she had that, "I'm so sorry" look on her face and I had to try and express to her that even though I was a crying mess, that I really do feel like I'm doing alright.  She seemed to believe me, but she also validated my feelings of disconnect to the pregnancy, weariness of planning for the baby, and the complicating emotions of it all.  She made me feel less crazy for the feelings of uncertainty I've been having, which I really appreciated. We also discussed that I'll be having a planned Csection this time around- so we get to pick baby's birthday.  We have to narrow down a day from 8/17-8/21, which is just a crazy concept for me. Needless to say, I've had a lot on my mind this week! 
  • @BrittanyM - wow Mac is a big guy! I'll be thinking of you, your family and Brooke on Tuesday. Sending you ((hugs)).
    @bunnybun4 - glad your little one is continuing to do well and you're feeling good. Almost done the 1st tri!
    @hsabyan - I'm sorry to hear about your Rhinitis and I hope it clears up soon. I'm glad your doctor is being so supportive to you and your husband for this next pregnancy and trying to help calm your fears. I love your announcement!

    How far along are you? 23 weeks

    Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones? appointment on Tuesday

    Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions? loving all things sweet and fruity

    QOTW: How did you know you were "ready" to try again for this rainbow? My husband and I always knew we wanted children. We were devastated to loose our son when he was born, but we knew we always wanted a few kids if we were lucky enough. So we figured we would keep trying. We got pregnant 3-4 months after my son was born. We miss my son everyday and his siblings will always know about their amazing older brother who changed our lives forever.

    Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? It's a continual balance between the excitement and fear of loosing this new baby. My husband and I have decided we are going to try to just celebrate this pregnancy as much as we can because we want to enjoy our daughter for however long we are lucky enough to have her with us. We want her to know and feel the same love we feel for her big brother. So I did buy some baby girl clothes.
  • Hi ladies!

    How far along are you? 30w3d

    Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones? Every Tuesday OB and NST, every Friday BPPs. Ana's birthday is coming up on March 2nd. Trying to plan what we want to do. I was thinking of having a little get together, tea party theme. 

    Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions? Sore hips, OUCH. I need to go see my chiropractor. 

    QOTW: How did you know you were "ready" to try again for this rainbow? I started trying before I was really ready. I was desperate for a baby. Once we passed her first birthday, I felt a shift. We took a little break and then it just happened.

    Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Missing my Ana girl, getting excited and more nervous to meet my little boy!

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        My Blog

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    BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
    Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013

    BFP # 2 8/7/14 EDD 4/22/15
    Please be our rainbow!!

    **All AL Welcome**

  • hsabyan said:
    I also wanted to add- we announced our news on Facebook last week and were floored by the amount of well wishes and tears from people who followed our journey with Georgia. I'll admit it's a little AW-ish but here's our announcement. image
    This is adorable!!

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        My Blog

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
      

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
    Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013

    BFP # 2 8/7/14 EDD 4/22/15
    Please be our rainbow!!

    **All AL Welcome**

  • How far along are you? 23 weeks 5 days (When did that happen?!)

    Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones? I just had an appointment with my midwife on Thursday. Next one won't be until March 12th. (Which I think will be my last 4 week appointment!)

    Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions? Not really pregnancy symptom, but I had a bit of a scare on Monday. I woke up at about 3am with severe abdominal pain. I was pretty sure it wasn't contractions or anything. It felt totally different. But was horribly painful, started vomiting from the pain even. They had me go in to Labor and Delivery where they ran all sorts of tests, ultrasound of my kidneys, ovaries, uterus, etc. They didn't really find anything, which was good to rule a lot of thing out. Baby was doing fine. The final conclusion was most likely kidney stones. I was finally sent home with painkillers. Interestingly, the pain actually subsided at the hospital when I took the first dose of medicine and hasn't been back. So the thought is that yes kidney stone and maybe I passed it or it moved (and the pain could come back at some point). Or possibly the urethra or something was twisted or getting pressure from the uterus and resolved itself. I'm just glad it seems to have nothing to do with baby and for now I am no longer in pain. It was a billion times worse than what I experienced in labor! (Although I ended up with a C-Section after 14 hours and 3 centimeters... so I don't know what later labor really feels like.)

    QOTW: How did you know you were "ready" to try again for this rainbow? My son was born at 41 weeks 10 days by emergency C-Section. Based on the C-Section and the doctors' advice and our desire to try for a VBAC with the next birth (because we hope to have several more babies) we were told to wait at least 6 months for my body to heal from the C-Section and more like minimum of 9 if we wanted a VBAC. This guided our decision some. But about 5-6 months was when we started really feeling like we wanted to try again. I think we just got to the point where we felt like our fears weren't going to be much different now, than they would be a year from now. It also took us over a year to get pregnant with our son, so we also didn't want to wait forever, in case it was going to take a long time again. It ended up taking almost 6 months to get pregnant, so we had almost 10 months between pregnancies. I was going crazy every month that I wasn't pregnant, but yet now being pregnant I've also had times where I wonder if maybe it was too soon.

    Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? We are going to be moving across the state sometime in the next month or so. (Because of our work, it is a little last minute and undecided as to when that will actually happen.) We expected to be moving back in October or November. Now the closer and closer we get to baby being born, the more anxiety this gives me. I worry that we won't have the time to make some good friends, find a good counselor, find a doctor who I feel comfortable with, etc. in the time before baby comes. I know my fears and anxiety will grow leading up to baby's birth, but in my case I know they will be even worse afterwards. Our son passed away in his sleep his first night home from the hospital. I know I will be terrified of baby sleeping for a long time probably and I know I will need a strong support system which I don't know where we will find that so quickly.

    Sorry guys for the novel!
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  • @BrittianyM‌ glad to hear Mac is doing so well! Sending lots of hugs and prayers for Brooke's birthday coming up!

    @bunnybun4 so glad that you're at a place where you can differentiate this pregnancy and feel hopeful about it!

    @hsabyan‌ what a beautiful announcement! How special! Glad your NT scan went well and hope you start feeling better soon!

    @msunshine123‌ I think that's a great mindset to get to... To celebrate every moment with this little girl!

    @shandorfml2‌ Ahhh I know that's a lot of time at appts but I hope the GD is kept under control! I think that's such a sweet idea for Ana's birthday!

    @GymSpaz26‌ That's so scary but glad eventing with you and baby is ok and hope the pain doesn't come back! To help calm some fears when this sweet baby comes home, I would highly recommend the SafeToSleep monitor. You can watch baby's breath scope on your phone. It kept me sane and allowed me to eventually get some sleep!


    How far along are you? 19 weeks!

    Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones? Just my next progesterone shot wednesday and then cervical check the following week! Just had my A/S

    Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions? Just super tired and finally starting to feel some good kicks!

    QOTW: How did you know you were "ready" to try again for this rainbow? We knew it would take forever so started kind of trying a couple months after babies were born... But I didn't get my first AF until 7-8 months later. It took another year once AF returned. By the babies' 1st birthday, we were very ready!

    Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Glad little guy is doing so well. A/S looked great, measuring 93rd percentile and very active!
  • @schulme2 Glad the A/S went well!!

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        My Blog

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
      

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
    Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013

    BFP # 2 8/7/14 EDD 4/22/15
    Please be our rainbow!!

    **All AL Welcome**

  • How far along are you? 30 weeks 6 days

     Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones? Weekly appointments with NSTs and ultrasounds start next week.

     Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions? This week I've been sleeping terribly every other day. I wake up super early for no reason, usually after staying up too late. Then I fall asleep on the couch around 8 and sleep for 12 hours that night. It's happened multiple times this week.

    Still having hip pain. I got a referral to a physical therapist and will start twice weekly appointments next week. Hopefully it helps. 

    QOTW: How did you know you were "ready" to try again for this rainbow? We didn't really wait until we were ready. If we had done that I don't know that we would have ever tried again. Since I'm AMA we didn't want to wait any longer than we had to. I asked my OB at the hospital probably the day after Nathaniel was born how long we would need to wait. She said 6 months. I circled that date on my calendar

    Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? I realized how close we are this week. On Tuesday I made 16 doctor's appointments which should be all he rest of them for the whole pregnancy. We finally cleaned out the nursery most of the way yesterday. It had gotten to be a dumping ground for all kinds of junk. I can actually get in the dresser and closet now and the changing table is not piled with all Nathaniel's mementos. There's still work to do, but it could be usable now if needed.
    Abigail Grace 9/7/10
    Nathaniel Willis born sleeping 2/6/14
    Felicity Hope 4/6/15

  • @shandorfml2 - thinking of you as Ana's 2nd birthday approaches ((hugs)). I like your idea of a tea party theme.
    @GymSpaz26 - your scare was frightening, but I'm glad things are good and hope they stay uneventful. Thinking of you as you plan your move. We had planned to move after my son was born and bought our home while we were still pregnant. We found a good counselor by asking for recommendations at local hospices - I would recommend calling one in your area. As they will have experience with people who have lost a child. My son died of a cord accident the day of delivery, but due to experiences from other couples at our hospital's perinatal bereavement group who have lost children to SIDS we are planning on purchasing a LEVANA monitor.
    @shulme2 - glad your little guy is doing well and that you're feeling his kicks more:)
    @dadalou - you're getting closer and closer to the end:) I hope your PT helps.

  • How far along are you? 19 weeks!

    Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones? Fetal assessment scan on Thursday

    Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions? Continuously tired!!!

    QOTW: How did you know you were "ready" to try again for this rainbow? I am a fellow infertile so it wasn't about being ready but more about how long it would take. I don't think I would ever have been ready. It took us 8 years to fall pregnant with our angel and another 2 years with this one.

    Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Pretty much the same as the last 19 weeks - will we be able to take our little girl home!? I think in the beginning I was in denial about being pregnant as I was protecting (trying to) myself from loosing anther one. (We have had 2 mc as well) I am trying to force myself everyday to be a little excited at the possibility of having a family. Also my twin sister is pregnant and is 9 days behind me with her 3rd child which took 1 month each time to fall pregnant. I am finding myself so jealous and angry at her as she has such an easy and happy pregnancy where I am so stressed and anxious about this one.
  • @brittianym I'll be thinking of you and Brooke tomorrow, and wearing yellow! 
    Glad to hear Mac is doing so well. Good job growing, baby boy! 

    @bunnybun4 Very glad to hear you and baby are doing well and you're in a good place. Being hopeful in the face of loss is difficult, but you're doing it and that is awesome.

    @hsabyan Ick for rhinitis! But yay for your announcement, I love it!
    Glad your doctor was reassuring. That can make all the difference in staying sane, and I'm glad you have an OB who understands that.

    @msunshine I hope you enjoyed buying some baby girl clothes! I know it's so hard to balance excitement and fear. All you can do it try to enjoy every minute and forgive yourself the moments of fear. Regardless, I think baby girl knows she's loved already :)

    @shandorml2 The tea party idea is so cute! You have so much going on with appointments and Ana's birthday coming up, you're doing a wonderful job keeping up with it all. Great job kicking butt, mama! :)

    @gymspaz26 So glad you and baby are both doing fine, that must have been scary!
    I hope you can get set up in your new home with time to set up a good support system. And good for you for knowing you'll need one! I think that in itself takes strength and self awareness. 

    @schulme2 Hooray for a good a/s! Glad it went well. That is a big boy you're growing! 

    @dadalouLess than 10 weeks to go! :)hope physical therapy helps with the pain, and may be that will help with the lack of sleep? I've been having the same sleep problems so I understand it can be miserable. 

    @karenoc Hello! Unless I'm crazy I think this is your first check-in? If so, welcome! :) If not...sorry, I blame pregnancy brain!
    Good luck at your appointment Thursday!
    I don't blame you for being a bit jealous and angry about your sister having a more stress-free pregnancy, I would have a hard time fighting those same feelings. I know how hard it is to try to focus on the positive and be excited instead of stressed, but you're trying and that's all you can expect of yourself.
    Earlier in my pregnancy I was having a really hard time being excited instead of scared, which was making me feel guilty. I asked my husband and sister if they could be my "excitement" surrogates and it sounds silly, but it helped me. Basically, I told them that some days all I could do was focus on getting through the day without being super nervous and it didn't leave enough energy for forcing the excitement baby deserves. So I needed them to not try to force me to be excited, but to just listen when I was nervous and then tell me how excited they were to meet baby...excited enough for both of us.
  • How far along are you? 33 weeks and 1 day

    Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones? Ultrasound and OB appointment next Monday. I can't wait to see how baby boy has been growing! They'll also check to make sure there are no blockages in baby's kidney's. His big brother had a blockage that led to a dilated kidney, which is super common and usually clears up on its own, but I'd still like to be able to cross this item off the list of things to worry about.

    Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions? Getting big and having trouble sleeping...I somehow forgot about this part of pregnancy! I've also been having random heart palpitations and shortness of breath, which I had with Lincoln as well but these ones seem to come more frequently. The OB says it's not "normal" but is common so he's not worried, but if it starts happening more often he may have me see a cardiologist.

    QOTW: How did you know you were "ready" to try again for this rainbow? The timing aligned with our original plan of expanding our family so we just kept with it. We always planned on trying for a sibling when Lincoln was 8-9 months old. We started trying the month after Lincoln passed away, when he would have been about 9 months old. My husband and I knew we couldn't stand not having another child to love in the house. We came home from the hospital to a quiet house and to being able to sleep in and cook full meals. But we didn't want those things. I guess that helped cement our decision.

    Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Counting days until my ultrasound. I can't wait to see baby Harrison again!
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