Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
schulme2
member
Re: PgAL Check-In 2/6/15
Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones? See above!
Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions? Nothing different - I want to eat everything!
QOTW: Aside from life, obviously, what is your greatest dream for this rainbow baby? To live a FULL life. I know we all say we want our babies to be happy, and trust me, I would like nothing more for her to be happy. But sometimes life throws us curveballs, and it makes us stronger, more rounded, compassionate, understanding people. I also believe that life's difficulties give us the tools we need to be independent, hard-working people. I want my baby to be happy, and I do not want her life to be difficult, but I want her life to be full - so she can learn from life's lessons and come back a better person. I hope that makes sense (and doesn't sound harsh!).
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? 6 MORE DAYS!!!!
Looks like baby girl wants to make her appearance now! My water broke, and we are in L&D now! 36w2d
Me 32 (Stage IV Endometriosis, short luteal phase) DH 38
Married 5/2010
January 2014- DS born healthy at 35.4 weeks
February 2014- DS passed away due to complications from adenovirus
February 2015- Rainbow baby DD born at 36.3 weeks
My chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/42fd32
@ikrystal - only a few more days:)
Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones? Regular OB visit on Wednesday. We've had trouble with my OB office and folks there, even the doctor I saw at my last appointment, making comments about "baby at home" or asking how old my son is. I've said something to the doctor, but I'm too nice so my husband called the doctor as well and made sure he understood our disappointment and frustration. So hopefully we won't have to deal with that again.
Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions? Just still liking sugar a lot.
QOTW: Aside from life, obviously, what is your greatest dream for this rainbow baby? For this baby boy to live fearlessly and confidently. I have a bad habit of constantly second guessing myself, which has gotten worse since my loss. I've been trying hard to work through that so my son doesn't have to carry that burden.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Feeling happy and excited about baby Harrison this week
@schulme2 You didn't say how you're doing this week...unless I missed it since I'm mobile? Hope you're having a good week!
@ikrystal So thankful that baby C is holding out and so excited for you to get to hold her next week!
@mel&john2013 I'm sorry about your OB that would've really upset me (but totally would've done the same as you). That was sweet of your work and I'm glad it gave you a chance to relax and enjoy getting ready for Harrison!
How far along are you? 18 weeks!
Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones? anatomy scan on the 12th! Anxious!
Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions? just some crazy RLP or growing/stretching pains this week that really freaked me out!
QOTW: Aside from life, obviously, what is your greatest dream for this rainbow baby? Not my greatest dream... But one big dream is that this baby will have a present/active mom. I feel so distant from real life and I just hope that I can be what this baby needs and stay really present in his life.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Anxious for Anatomy scan but at least thankful that my progesterone shots have started. I'm hoping that I'll feel more confident once I get a few more shots that I'll actually be able to carry this baby to term.
Thank you to everyone for your support through the pgal process. I wish all of you the best, and will be following your updates!
Me 32 (Stage IV Endometriosis, short luteal phase) DH 38
Married 5/2010
January 2014- DS born healthy at 35.4 weeks
February 2014- DS passed away due to complications from adenovirus
February 2015- Rainbow baby DD born at 36.3 weeks
My chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/42fd32
Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones? OB and NST tuesday (we are going weekly now) and BPP on Friday. I am also going to a class for GD on Tuesday
Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions? Mostly just cranky.
QOTW: Aside from life, obviously, what is your greatest dream for this rainbow baby? Like @dadalou said, I'm still focusing on this baby coming home. I want him to feel loved, supported and safe. I want him to be happy. I want to teach him so many things!
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? A lot. I'm tired, cranky and overwhelmed. Now I have 2 appointments a week, plus whatever I will have for the GD. I'm worried about fitting it all in and work. I miss my Mom a lot lately. I just feel overwhelmed with everything I need to accomplish I guess. Plus, Ana's second birthday is less than a month away. Wow.
My Blog
BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013
Please be our rainbow!!
**All AL Welcome**
@shandorfml2 Ughhhh I'm sorry for all the appointments, I know it can get overwhelming, especially trying to figure it out with a work schedule! I'm sorry everything is getting to be so much and I'm sure it's all intensified by not having your mom here. Big hugs!
@dadalou good luck with Nathaniel's party! Sounds like fun and a great way to honor your sweet boy!
@dadalou - I hope Nathaniel's party was a huge success! I understand how you feel about your little one coming home. I feel the same ((hugs)).
@shandorfml2 - I hope your appointments this week will give you some peace of mind and ideas for managing the GD. So many hugs to you - it's so much. We are here for you.
Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones? appointment in 1 week
Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions? still loving all the food, sweet and fruity are my favorites
QOTW: Aside from life, obviously, what is your greatest dream for this rainbow baby? I honestly can not even imagine. As some of the other moms have already mentioned. I'm still trying to imagine bringing our little girl home. I want to so much.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Just the ongoing mix of being so happy and excited for our little girl and so incredibly terrified for her at the same time.
@ikrystal- good luck! Soo close!
@dadalou- I hope Nathaniel's party is a good day for your family. Sending you hugs.
@shandorfml2- Thinking about you. You are juggling a lot right now so you have every right to be cranky and tired. I hope all of your appointments go well.
How far along are you? 30 weeks
Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones? Next appointment is on the 18th
Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions? Back down to only throwing up once a day! So glad to be feeling better.
QOTW: Aside from life, obviously, what is your greatest dream for this rainbow baby?
Like @ikrystal, I hope this baby lives a full life and has the fortitude to deal with challenges and set backs; ups and downs that will come with living a long life.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Just can't believe I'm so close to meeting this baby. I'm starting to get more anxious at times and am trying to work through that.
hey ladies...so happy to those ladies meeting their rainbows this week!!!
how far along are you? 10 weeks 4 days
any upcoming appts or milesstones? first ob appt in the morning...going to discuss how we will be seen for this pregnancy (how many ultrasounds, extra testing- I'm ready to know our plan!
Any symptoms or cravings? just tired and crazy dreams!
QOTW: really just to be healthy and happy
open topic: I'm starting to feel like this might actually be our take home baby...I've been more excited and positive the last week and it feels really good. just hoping it lasts!!!
8/12-Suprise BFP- Sweet Bunny Born Sleeping 11/21/12 (19 weeks)
-5/7/13- MMC (8 Weeks)
11/6/13- BO discovered at 7 weeks- natural MC 11/25/13
8/14- Surpise IF dx...low AMH (.24)- moving on to IVF
IVF #1- 11/14- 6R5M4F=2 perfect frosties
12/19/14- FET of 2 embabies = BFP!!! One Little Bean EDD: 9/3/15
Everyone Welcome.
My Blog
BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013
Please be our rainbow!!
**All AL Welcome**
@bgirma so glad you're starting to feel better!
@msunshine123 I am
Right there with you with the constant crazy mix of emotions!
@dadalou I am so glad to hear Nathaniel's birthday party went so well and what a wonderful tribute to donate the books in his honor! And yay for baby girl doing so well!
Thanks for all of the good vibes for my appt! It went great...baby's heart was beating away on the doppler and my OB was great at answering all of my questions. The plan for now is:
Ultrasound in two weeks...I'll be just shy of 13 weeks. It won't be an NT scan but she said we could measure the nuchal fold and look closely at everything as well as she can with a regular ultrasound. If I want an NT scan we can schedule one then but I think that maybe the regular ultrasound will calm my nerves until the anatomy scan. She also said we could do the harmony test...I'm going to check and see if my insurance will cover it...
She wants an MFM to do our anatomy scan so that makes me feel like she is taking this really seriously even though our diagnosis was a fluke...she's letting us chose which MFM...we didn't care for the one at our practice so I may ask to see another one.
So I am feeling good so far about our plan. Thanks for all the t's and p's!
8/12-Suprise BFP- Sweet Bunny Born Sleeping 11/21/12 (19 weeks)
-5/7/13- MMC (8 Weeks)
11/6/13- BO discovered at 7 weeks- natural MC 11/25/13
8/14- Surpise IF dx...low AMH (.24)- moving on to IVF
IVF #1- 11/14- 6R5M4F=2 perfect frosties
12/19/14- FET of 2 embabies = BFP!!! One Little Bean EDD: 9/3/15
Everyone Welcome.
@Bgirma - I'm so glad you are starting to feel better. I understand what you mean about feeling anxious - hugs to you.
@dadalou - I'm happy to hear Nathaniel's birthday was such a success! That was such a great idea having everyone bring books to donate!
@bunnybun4 - I'm glad you are feeling positive about your little one and that you are feeling supported by your team.
My Blog
BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013
Please be our rainbow!!
**All AL Welcome**
I had my A/S today... Baby looked great, definitely still a boy and measuring in the 93 percentile! Thank you guys for your good wishes!