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September 2015 Moms
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No baby shower/sprinkle/bbq/party for me!

19gem8719gem87 member
in September 2015 Moms
Ok so I posted a discussion a while back about being a STM & having a shower. This entire discussion was the result of my grandmother suggesting one. Anyway, I decided I will have a gender reveal low key dinner with my close family instead! I will not tell them what it's for. We always have Birthday dinners for everyone with cake so I plan to use a cake (pink/blue) to reveal the news. I will also find out near my Birthday so it's the perfect disguise! What does everyone think?
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Re: No baby shower/sprinkle/bbq/party for me!

  • kaylaefkaylaef member
    edited February 2015
    I think that's a lovely idea :-). I agree with something small for baby #2. We did a open house for my 2nd nephew (no gifts) just so my sil wasn't bombarded every day after baby
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  • tigerfish227tigerfish227 member
    When my sister was PG with her second I asked my mom if there were any plans for a baby shower and she told me that when she was having kids the tradition held that you only get one for your first child. Personally I like this idea since most people have a lot of what they need already when baby #2 comes around and it really seems excessive to have another full blown baby shower. If someone were to throw one for you that might be a different story but I say your dinner idea is wonderful and should be lots of fun for your family.
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  • 19gem8719gem87 member
    Thanks everyone. My grandma LOVED the idea & she's happy to be in on the secret lol. It's a win win situation :wink:
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  • sschwegesschwege member
    veronica121679 said:
    I'm newly engaged (xmas eve) and also have a 5 year old daughter from my ex-husband. My fiance has a 7 year old son from his previous marriage. We are excited to bring our families together and never entertained the idea of not having a shower! Our child was planned with love and we have a chance on actually experiencing everything the right way as our previous situations were a nightmare. Everyone's situation is different, but this child will deserve everything and will not be cut short of what his or her step brother & sister got. Plus it's something to experience with my soon to be in laws and I absolutely adore them, which is a dream compared to the horrible previous experiences I've had with my ex husband and his family.
    Uhhh our second and third children were 'planned with love' as well, but we still didn't see that as a reason to solicit our friends and family for more stuff.  I don't think it's about what they 'deserve', if your child needs something it is up to you as parents to provide it.  I'm really not understanding this.  Has anyone actually offered to host a shower for you yet?  Seems kind of early...
    @veronica121679
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  • apayne0731apayne0731 member
    Great idea! We decided to do a gender reveal this spring just with close friends and family and get a photographer capture the moment and get some pregnancy/family photos too.

    But we also plan on having close friends and family over after the baby is born for a pot luck bbq (will be handy to have some leftover meals around!)
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  • jwebbbber45678jwebbbber45678 member
    My friend is pregnant with her third, I threw a small BBQ with some close friends and everyone who came brought diapers. They already have everything they needed, but it was still nice for them to see all their friends, feel some love, eat some food and stock up on diapers before the big day! It's called a diaper dinner and it is a great idea for those who want to do something with family and friends without asking them to buy expensive unneeded items.
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  • snikaisnikai member
    I love your idea. I want to have a gender reveal party too! I like the cake idea and the blue or pink balloons in a box (as seen on Pinterest). Another poster said they were going to have their OB write the gender on a paper in an envelope and then give the envelope to the baker for the cake that way even mom and dad are surprised. I think that's a really cute idea!
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  • GeorgiaDottieGeorgiaDottie member

    Last year, I helped throw a "Pamper Party" for a friend who was due with her second. It as a different gender this time, but so much of what she had already she could reuse for baby #2 that she didn't need anything (or did she want us to throw her a party.) So instead, we "pampered" her with a box of diapers and a pamper gift for the mom: nail polish, spa gift certificate, hair cut, etc.

    It made her feel extra special and she got a ton of diapers!

    I love the idea of your birthday celebration! At a friend's birthday, she put a  bun in her kitchen oven. She asked her mom to get the dish from the oven and her mom said "What is that? A bun? In the oven?" and then proceeded to scream with happiness. It was really cute.

    33 years old, Married Oct '11,

    Summer '14: Diagosed with hypothryoidism, pollup, LPD, Low AMH, strong FSH.

    BFP: 1/22/15. EDD: 9/23/14. Rainbow baby!

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  • pregat40pregat40 member
    off2thefunnyfarm said:


    veronica121679 said:

    I'm newly engaged (xmas eve) and also have a 5 year old daughter from my ex-husband. My fiance has a 7 year old son from his previous marriage. We are excited to bring our families together and never entertained the idea of not having a shower! Our child was planned with love and we have a chance on actually experiencing everything the right way as our previous situations were a nightmare. Everyone's situation is different, but this child will deserve everything and will not be cut short of what his or her step brother & sister got. Plus it's something to experience with my soon to be in laws and I absolutely adore them, which is a dream compared to the horrible previous experiences I've had with my ex husband and his family.

    Ok, I want to be all 'yay! love' but then I can't get past that 'this child will deserve everything" and "will not be cut short of what his or her step brother & sister got' 

    Sorry but it's just rubbing me the wrong way.  Why do people have to buy gifts for your kid in order for it to be considered loved?  Have a party if you want, people can buy you gifts but this is one little tiny step away from outright telling people that if they love your baby they need to buy it something.  Your baby has NO CLUE what people buy it or don't buy it and I would hope that even if you don't have a shower, that your child won't be wanting for anything.  Will it be wearing old blankets if no one buys you a pack of onesies?!?!

    I am trying to look at your post in the most positive light that I can, but you aren't even saying that you just want to celebrate with family (in which case, have a party! enjoy!) you seem to think that your child simply deserves gifts.




    No disrespect to anyone (I have no time for that) I actually interpreted that same statement as the OP simply stating the shower as having what the other children have gotten.....i put no thought into the rest of the post because she has a right to her feelings..I'm not affected by her choice because I'm not part of her life...

    I'm engaged too and we have a blended family. I had a small shower 21 years ago with my first, I didn't 16 years ago with my second, because I bought into that idea of only having 1 shower business. Instead a neighbor gave me all of her hand me downs and my sisters friend gave me a ton of clothes too. and I still had my crib, I just bought a car seat and stroller and a few items I really liked and had everything i needed....the world has changed many times over so why not have multiple showers? I don't mean one every year for 8 years but on average people have a couple kids, no big deal. Gifting helps the parents. It is a nice gesture, gifts don't have to be big at all for those who have multiples. For my new blended family, my fiance has two sons 18 and 20, we will have a shower for no reason other than I love baby showers and we don't have a child together and i kids are nearly adults, I can't even think of the last time someone bought a gift for my kids and it's OUR first baby. So for the OP go for it girl... I give one for my closest friends and still buy gifts I don't care how many babies they have, in this nontraditional world today, why revert to tradition jist because someone wants to have multiple showers? Is it because of buying a gift? I enjoy gift giving in general, if I'm not close to the person i buy something small because it's not harmful to my pocket at all. Speaking on nontradition I'm also going to help my friends give my own because it's fun. I love decorating and stuff and I love parties, I want to be part of the planning, no different to me than throwing your own birthday party..shrugging. I don't have time to get my panties in a jumble because I have to buy a gift for someone...but that's just me.
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  • T&A08T&A08 member
    I love the cake reveal idea and I think that is super sweet that you have your grandma in on it!

    BabyFetus Ticker
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