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Tips on how to keep baby's sex a surprise for family?

SarahKBellSarahKBell member
in 2nd Trimester
Hello,
My husband and i have decided it would be a fun surprise to keep our baby #2's gender a surprise for our family and friends! I'm just wondering has anyone done this before, how did it go for you and do you have any tips you could share with us about how to not let what the baby's sex is slip off your tongue? We already know we are going to have a few people trying to get us to slip up! We are pretty good about keeping secrets like this and not budging but just thought i might ask those of you who have done this before. And what are some other things to keep in mind?  And besides, even if we end up being wrong about the baby's sex it's not going to be a big deal because we will have gone the gender neut. route anyway (which i know of stories where this has in fact happened!). 

Thanks!
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Re: Tips on how to keep baby's sex a surprise for family?

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  • SarahKBellSarahKBell member
    It's just the route we decided to go and we think it will be fun for our families because they like surprises like this (even though they try to 'sneak peeks' if you will). 
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  • oneblessedmessoneblessedmess member
    bluedaisy2001 said:

    Don't tell the family you found out.  Then they won't try to trip you up.

    This. I'm in the boat of not seeing what's fun abouut finding out yet making everybody else wait, unless you're doing some sort of cute sex reveal before the birth, but if you really don't want people trying to trip you up, just don't say anything and tell them you don't know if they ask. I know for me, it would be way too hard not to say "he" or "she", and my family would immediately jump all over me saying "Haha! You said she! It must be a girl!" In fact it'd probably just get annoying after a while!
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  • Frogger5Frogger5 member
    Yeah, this is just about the most AW thing you could do IMO. Except maybe going around telling everyone you've settled on a name but refuse to share. How sad would you be if no one tried to figure it out? If you just said, "we're keeping it a secret" and everyone was like, "ok, whatever, that's cool"? If you would be disappointed there was no drama surrounding your decision, that tells you a lot about your motivation.
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  • SarahKBellSarahKBell member
    smeame14 said:
    Hello,
    My husband and i have decided it would be a fun surprise to keep our baby #2's gender a surprise for our family and friends! I'm just wondering has anyone done this before, how did it go for you and do you have any tips you could share with us about how to not let what the baby's sex is slip off your tongue? We already know we are going to have a few people trying to get us to slip up! We are pretty good about keeping secrets like this and not budging but just thought i might ask those of you who have done this before. And what are some other things to keep in mind?  And besides, even if we end up being wrong about the baby's sex it's not going to be a big deal because we will have gone the gender neut. route anyway (which i know of stories where this has in fact happened!). 

    Thanks!
    Sorry, but your baby's GENDER will not be known until years from now, you may be able to find out the SEX of the baby during ultrasound. Personally, if you find out the sex, and NOT tell anyone- I think is stupid. Just be team green. Holding a secret like that makes no sense, eventualy one if you will probably end up slipping and revealing. I have never supported this idea, and never will.


    Please don't turn this board into a debate on sex and gender, others may not feel the same way you do and i really would appreciate it if it stayed on the topic of tips I can use with my family. This is my only reply to your post. Thank you for your input.
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  • SarahKBellSarahKBell member
    Thanks everyone for your posts! Thinking we will just keep things as we decided to not tell the families and keep it a fun surprise as that is what we feel will be most fun for our families (as we know them best and know what they love/don't like). They are going to have fun with this :) Thinking that we will only tell them we know what it is if it comes up but otherwise if it does not we are not going to share that we know :) Thanks and hope you're all having a nice Sunday
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  • SarahKBellSarahKBell member
    I asked a question that was meant to be fun...I'm going to check out of this thread. I won't be reading anything on here anymore so if people want to continue trying to argue on here don't waste your time. Good night
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  • NagaWaterNagaWater member
    SarahKBell said:
    It's just the route we decided to go and we think it will be fun for our families because they like surprises like this (even though they try to 'sneak peeks' if you will). 
    If I was a member of your family I wouldn't find it fun. I would find it annoying and think you were just digging for attention. Oh wait....I'm not your family and I still feel like that.
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  • kiera9089kiera9089 member
    I was thinking of doing the same thing. I wanted to do a poll of some sort at the baby shower and then reveal the sex to everyone, some thought it might be fun but others (like my mom) hated the idea. Whatever you decide would be great though. My family also loves surprises. Its a bonding technique for some families in my opinion.
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  • delujm0delujm0 member
    I don't understand why anyone would think to themselves "oh DH and I NEED to find out the sex before hand, we just can't take the suspense...but I bet our families would love to have to wait for that information until the birth. It will be fun for them."

    If you don't think it will be fun for you to wait, believe me, they won't think it's fun either. If you were team green it would be another story...this is less of a fun surprise and more of an attention grab. Can't you just surprise them with something else, like the name? There are perfectly valid reasons for keeping that a secret until the birth (I know several people who had a name picked out only to change their minds once they saw the baby, for example).
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  • cg0112358cg0112358 member


    Frogger5 said:
    Yeah, this is just about the most AW thing you could do IMO. Except maybe going around telling everyone you've settled on a name but refuse to share. How sad would you be if no one tried to figure it out? If you just said, "we're keeping it a secret" and everyone was like, "ok, whatever, that's cool"? If you would be disappointed there was no drama surrounding your decision, that tells you a lot about your motivation.

    I agree ^^. That being said it is possible. With my last I didn't want to know until delivery but my husband did. I covered my eyes during the u/s and the tech typed it on the screen for him. He was the only one (other than those in the OB's office) who knew the sex of our daughter before she was born. He did manage to keep it a secret even from me, but since I wanted the surprise I never tried to find out or make him slip so that probably made it somewhat easier.

    Honestly, I do wonder how much of this is supposed to be "fun" for your family versus "fun" for you.

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  • cowboys2009cowboys2009 member
    Agree with everyone who said this is a big AW move. Why find out and not tell people???
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  • PrimRoseMamaPrimRoseMama member
    Just don't say anything. I think you are seriously over thinking this. :|


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  • sschwegesschwege member
    This is seriously the most AWish idea I have read in awhile.  How old are you?!

    Ha, there was a mom in my moms' group who did this.  They found out they were having a girl and didn't tell a soul.  The baby was born...very much a boy.  The family's response?  They all said, "Served you guys right for keeping it a secret from us!" Guess they didn't find the idea as fun as the parents-to-be did!
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  • raspellraspell member
    Man, there are some haters on this post, eh?

    IMO, it's your choice and I think that's great. Do what's right for you!!! If you ask me, it's stupid to call someone else's choices stupid. LOL It will probably be hard but as long as you pay attention to what you say to people you should be okay. You'll probably have slip ups and have to swear those people to secrecy!

    We actually are thinking about doing the same, for multiple reasons. First and foremost, I really don't want people forcing their gender stereotypes on my unborn child. We don't want a bunch of pink ruffly crap and no sports for a girl and vice versa. Not only that, but you just never know what could happen and you could (as it does happen) end up with a little surprise instead of what you are expecting.

    More than anything- it's your damn business to share what and when you want and how you want. Everyone else can suck it up. ;)
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  • finchfeeder80finchfeeder80 member
    @ladycersei Congrats on your newest little one! 
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  • xcitdmommaxcitdmomma member
    Wait until birth. I've found NO ONE can keep the secret if they know. And I would think it's worse than waiting to announce the pregnancy.
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  • ewing87ewing87 member
    Why can't we just have friendly little reminders about the sex/gender thing it seems to always no matter the response from anyone else turn into some sort of demanding lecture?! Just a simple "hey you mixed up your terms" would be helpful. I understand this is the Internet and text can be misunderstood but it's pretty clear that words in all caps is considered "yelling" or speaking firmly. You can still make your point in a less demeaning way.
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