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Gifts ON or OFF the registry?

rachelcalderon525rachelcalderon525 member
in Baby Showers

Let me start this off by saying that I am very grateful for any gift anyone decides to give us for our baby.

My husbands parents came by for dinner and gave us our baby shower present a week early (our shower is this weekend and it is a coed shower). His parents got us the rocker/glider we had registered for....the only thing is they didn't get it off our babies r us registry. Instead they got it off Amazon (after research they were shown  to be the same price). 2 weeks prior to this my aunt had told us that she got us the rocker off our registry and it showed as being bought. I'm 95% sure I had mentioned this to my husbands mother.

So big whoop, she got the rocker, I will just return the one my aunt gave me and exchange it for something else.....WRONG! Its totally the wrong color and doesn't match any of the furniture which we had ordered 3 months ago and told his parents about it. I cannot return the rocker because his mom took the packing slip and wont give us any of the order information. So now I will be stuck with a rocker we cannot use and one we can. And I can't even exchange it for another big ticket item off our registry. If your familiar with babies r us registries, they give you 10% back of what was purchased off your registry also, which is inconvenient for us since this is a hard time of the year with $$ since we have another daughter (my SD) who is very active in sports.

So, although I am thankful that they would get us a gift, is it too much for me to ask that she should have at least done the research on which color to get or tell us she got it so that we could have taken it off our registry so that my aunt could have purchased us something else?

Signed,

Confused, hormonal, uncomfortable, and stressing from people's lack of common sense.

P.S. My husband and I are used to his parents "messing" things up and having a lack of communication. He wasn't surprised a bit by this but just as frustrated as I was.


 

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Re: Gifts ON or OFF the registry?

  • rachelcalderon525rachelcalderon525 member

    I have tried to talk with Amazon, but unfortunately without my husbands parents account information and the order number there is no way for them to try to make the return. And as for the slip cover...it is the wood that is the wrong color. We have dark espresso furniture and the gave a light brown wood color.

    We live with my mother, and his parents run a daycare, and my father and stepmom have young children (i'm a good bit older than my younger siblings) so they do not need a rocker for when the baby stays with them. So it wouldn't make sense to put the second one at one of our parents house.

    My mom is the expert on delivery and returns and she suggested just returning the one that his parents gave us to babies r us once we get the right color one and just saying it was the wrong color and exchanging it for something else....... i'm not the devious type so I have a bit of an issue with doing that.....but i'm not seeing any other options.


     

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  • mcmg7212mcmg7212 member
    I'm weird about wood matching and the wrong color would bother me. I would first try to return it to BRU (and not feel guilty about returning it to wrong place, I promise you they get that all the time). If BRU won't take it, sell it on Craig's list. If the IL's ever do ask about the one they got you, tell them you received 2 and leave it at that. Maybe mention you exchanged their's for something very important (car seat, stroller), so they feel better about it.
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  • fallingleaves5fallingleaves5 member
    Helenahhandbasket said:


    MandJS said:


    rachelcalderon525 said:

    I have tried to talk with Amazon, but unfortunately without my husbands parents account information and the order number there is no way for them to try to make the return. And as for the slip cover...it is the wood that is the wrong color. We have dark espresso furniture and the gave a light brown wood color.

    We live with my mother, and his parents run a daycare, and my father and stepmom have young children (i'm a good bit older than my younger siblings) so they do not need a rocker for when the baby stays with them. So it wouldn't make sense to put the second one at one of our parents house.

    My mom is the expert on delivery and returns and she suggested just returning the one that his parents gave us to babies r us once we get the right color one and just saying it was the wrong color and exchanging it for something else....... i'm not the devious type so I have a bit of an issue with doing that.....but i'm not seeing any other options.


    Can you just stain the wood? Honestly? It's not that big a deal if it's not a perfect match. No one but you will notice. At the end of the day, it was a gift. Don't be scammy about it. Just either keep it, sell on craigslist or something, or donate to a nursery or women's shelter. 




    All of this. 

    Honestly OP, this is such a first world problem.  I promise when your baby is here you will look back at this and laugh at yourself.



    I agree. Is it that big of a deal that the colors don't match perfectly?
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  • dufferoodufferoo member
    So you explained the situation to her in a nice way ("we are so grateful for the gift, but it turns out my aunt already got us this beautiful rocker that we love- I feel terrible to ask you this, but is there any way we could try to return this one?") and she flat-out refused to give you the packing slip? That's just flat-out weird, but if that's the case, it sounds like she doesn't want you to have anything at all if not that rocker, so I guess I would just donate it to Goodwill, and not even lie about it if she asks. To be clear, I don't think she did anything wrong whatsoever by not purchasing the exact rocker you registered for, or for not figuring out how to check it off your registry, but I do think it's kind of odd to refuse to relinquish the receipt.
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  • YogaSandyYogaSandy member
    OP - I totally get that you want everything to match. I am very picky about things like that too. However, at 7 months pregnant, we bought DS's nursery furniture from Ikea. We live in a small northern town and the store is 6 hours away. We bought it when we were our of town. Then about a month and a half later, DH put it all together. Well, the crib and change table werent the same colour. Either I wrote the wrong number down to grab it, or the wrong colour crib was in the bin - I don't know.

    We weren't going to be able exchange it , as I wasn't traveling at 8 1/2 months pregnant and we weren't going to make a trip just for that. I was upset. I called it his rag a muffin room. Now, I don't even care. At all. We couldn't even tell you which one is darker without looking. Doesn't matter.
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  • o_so_in_loveo_so_in_love member
    If you don't want to be deceitful to BRU you could always just ask the manager of it is okay to get store credit. They might not care if they can sell it and you get something else from their store, especially if it's another big ticket item. Returning it to Amazon would be a pain. I believe you would have to pay for the return shipping. Not worth it.
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  • xomegabee1218oxxomegabee1218ox member
    Starting today babies r us is having a trade in event where you can trade in baby items towards the purchase of new items. Check out their website., but maybe you could take your mother in laws gift there. It doesn't say that the items have to be from babies r us to trade in
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  • neverblushedneverblushed member
    You've gotten some good advice, but I want to weigh in with my $.02:

    I think your MIL has been a real jerk about this.  Whether her jerkiness was intentional or the result of dopey disorganization is hard to tell.

    If you generally get along with them and you think this was the result of dopey disorganization on your MIL's part, maybe explain the situation, express your gratitude for such a generous gift, and then see if she'd like first dibs on it, since you have no room for 2 gliders.  If she has half a clue, she'll realize her mistake, take the glider back, and get you something else... or at least take the chair back.

    If you don't think this option is possible, then I agree you should see about returning it to BRU when you can or selling it on Craigslist.  If she notices and makes a comment (which would be incredibly rude, but a distinct possibility given the jerkiness she's already displayed) you can just explain that you received 2 of them, that this one didn't match your furniture and you couldn't use 2 of them, so you exchanged it for other baby supplies.  Be gracious and emphasize how much you value the things that you got in exchange for her gift.
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  • oliv0026oliv0026 member
    edited January 2015
    Now, that is really a first world problem... so sad... how can you stress so much about something so small that has quite few solutions as everyone here is offering? Look, your baby will have lots of lovealready! parents that will love him or her, family members that is buying all these expensive things, you are having a baby shower to celebrate you and your little miracle. .. Please, dont let it destroy the great moments of your life. This is just so small...
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  • BlueWaffleSpeshulBlueWaffleSpeshul member
    Bliss+Berry said:
    oliv0026 said:
    Now, that is really a first world problem... so sad... how can you stress so much about something so small that has quite few solutions as everyone here is offering? Look, your baby will have lots of lovealready! parents that will love him or her, family members that is buying all these expensive things, you are having a baby shower to celebrate you and your little miracle. .. Please, dont let it destroy the great moments of your life. This is just so small...
    @oliv0026 A lot of things to do with showers are first world problems.  Fuck, a lot of things people complain about here are first world problems.  That doesn't mean OP doesn't have a right to her question/complaint.  There's no need to be so sanctimonious.  It's really obnoxious and unnecessary.  
    ILYSM.
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  • BMoreBride6BMoreBride6 member
    For the record, don't count on the babies r us money back return.  I know people who have been waiting 10 months for it, and BRU just gives excuses after excuses...
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  • PrimRoseMamaPrimRoseMama member
    I think you are being very very unreasonable. You now have two recliners!

    Put one in the nursery & one in the living room. You can get a cover for the one that is the "wrong color" if you'd like. It's not the end of the world. No matter how much you protest that you "really are grateful" what you say & what you are typing communicate the exact opposite.

    Having more than one spot to get stuck in nap jail (comfortably) is awesome. Life is short to be this finicky. :neutral_face::-1:


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  • ewilson74ewilson74 member
    No need to apologize for wanting your furniture to match. I am more eclectic, but I understand where you are coming from. I am glad it has worked out for you. In reality, if you had kept it, you would probably just get irritated every time you looked at it. It would have been a reminder of a power struggle with your MIL.
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  • neverblushedneverblushed member
    PrimRoseMama said:
    I think you are being very very unreasonable. You now have two recliners! Put one in the nursery & one in the living room. You can get a cover for the one that is the "wrong color" if you'd like. It's not the end of the world. No matter how much you protest that you "really are grateful" what you say & what you are typing communicate the exact opposite. Having more than one spot to get stuck in nap jail (comfortably) is awesome. Life is short to be this finicky. :neutral_face::-1:


    Gah: quote fail --

    Look, not everyone can simply shoehorn another piece of furniture into their living room.  I'm sure if that was an option, OP would be doing just that.  She has certainly indicated that she would rather not have to return MIL's gift.

    I'm not a stickler about design and decorations, but I still wouldn't be able to use a second entire chair just because someone bought it for me (over and above the one I DID ask for and CAN use.)  I just wouldn't have a place for it.  I would feel bad and awkward about it, but I would not be able to use it. 
    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
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  • MamamadsMamamads member
    I Don't think there is anything wrong with wanting your babies room to match and for Someone to purchase the correct item off the registry That you to the time to pick out. You shouldn't have any trouble selling this on Craigslist or try swip swap on facebook.
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  • PrimRoseMamaPrimRoseMama member
    neverblushed said:


    PrimRoseMama said:

    I think you are being very very unreasonable. You now have two recliners!

    Put one in the nursery & one in the living room. You can get a cover for the one that is the "wrong color" if you'd like. It's not the end of the world. No matter how much you protest that you "really are grateful" what you say & what you are typing communicate the exact opposite.

    Having more than one spot to get stuck in nap jail (comfortably) is awesome. Life is short to be this finicky    . :neutral_face::-1:


    Gah: quote fail --

    Look, not everyone can simply shoehorn another piece of furniture into their living room.  I'm sure if that was an option, OP would be doing just that.  She has certainly indicated that she would rather not have to return MIL's gift.

    I'm not a stickler about design and decorations, but I still wouldn't be able to use a second entire chair just because someone bought it for me (over and above the one I DID ask for and CAN use.)  I just wouldn't have a place for it.  I would feel bad and awkward about it, but I would not be able to use it. 




    Anticipating some quote fail.

    I understand that, but I think complaining about a gift is in poor taste. She can sell it and/or donate it to a women's shelter if room is an issue. She is fortunate that she has folks that are willing to spend $ on extraneous, mix-matching furniture.

    It can seem like "my mink coat is so hot during this freezing blizzard" type complaint.

    So I guess I'm in the minority, but there it is.


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  • ParenturownwayParenturownway member
    I don't think its aweful at all to want to return it. It was a gift, yes. The whole point of return receipts/slips are for when there are multiples of the same thing. If this was the only one you were getting, I probably wouldn't return it. But since you are getting the one you took the time to pick out, no shame in returning the other. I hope she gives you the package slip to return!
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  • LoveLee85LoveLee85 member
    This is why on every gift I give for any reason, I include all information so that it can be exchanged/sold/returned. Either way, my gift is being put toward something else they need/want. I never take it personal.

    ...as I dread the call to my mom for the receipt for the crazy expensive skiing pants she gifted me for Christmas. :-p HA!
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